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Thread: Trying to adjust to the fact that my family knows

  1. #1

    Default Trying to adjust to the fact that my family knows

    It's been a couple of months since my dad confronted me on finding my diapers. He said it was the second time he had found them. He didn't get angry but he did seem concerned. I was so freaked out and embarrassed by all of this that I basically just said "I'm fine" and quickly left, pretending I had something to do. I'm sure he told my mom and sister because nobody keeps their mouths shut around here.

    Anyway, since then, nobody has mentioned it but sometimes when I'm talking to him about something, I can almost swear he's looking at my crotch to see if I'm wearing. Also, I've noticed he tries to avoid my room at all costs now (which I guess I don't mind so much.) It took me almost 3 weeks before I felt the desire to wear any of them and the first 2 or 3 times after that I was very paranoid. But I'm now starting to get over it a bit.

    I've been wearing almost 24/7 for the past 3 and 1/2 weeks (for #1 only) and my life has improved vastly because of it. I've lost weight, gotten off of all my anxiety meds, cut way back on my drinking and work has been going great lately. I want to keep this up but I have to order a new case of diapers soon and I am not looking forward to the devilry because I just know somebody's going to say something.

    I'm starting to get panicked again because I want my diapers but I don't want any trouble.

  2. #2

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    I'm pretty sure many of my close family and friends know about the same as yours do, the general theory is that it's medically or drug related which worries them, but even though it's not it's still none of their business. I'm happy I recently told my brother the truth, maybe there is someone close you can tell and feel better?

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Crinklebuttt View Post
    I'm pretty sure many of my close family and friends know about the same as yours do, the general theory is that it's medically or drug related which worries them, but even though it's not it's still none of their business. I'm happy I recently told my brother the truth, maybe there is someone close you can tell and feel better?
    I wish there was. It would feel good to get it off my chest. But I don't have anyone close I could tel that I would trust. I kind of have trust issues due to bad experiences in my childhood.

  4. #4

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    I think I would order them, and if they ask you about the package, I would tell them what you have told us, how by wearing, you feel much better. I think they would understand and accept that it's a good trade off.

  5. #5

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    I would have to agree with dogboy here. Place the order. Your family has probably noticed the improvement in your life and do you think anything in the world could make them happier than seeing that? Now if you really want to avoid any confrontations or general awkwardness you could always have your order shipped to a Fed-Ex store and pick it up when you have time to privately and discretely drag a large box though your house.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by soupy View Post
    I would have to agree with dogboy here. Place the order. Your family has probably noticed the improvement in your life and do you think anything in the world could make them happier than seeing that? Now if you really want to avoid any confrontations or general awkwardness you could always have your order shipped to a Fed-Ex store and pick it up when you have time to privately and discretely drag a large box though your house.
    I'm going to order them. I'll just have to deal with it I guess. Can't have it delivered anywhere else because I can't drive so it will have to be at my house.

  7. #7

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    I would also have to add that your discomfort, paranoia, and initial purge from wearing, all sound like very common and normal results from being exposed by people you'd rather not share your secrets with. With that said, I'm glad you're wearing again if they help you with your anxiety. I too suffer from anxiety, and expressing myself by wearing diapers has helped tremendously. You have the right to treat your anxiety with whatever works, and diapers are no exception. You do still live under your parents' roof, so be respectful of that, but that may be easier now that your Father won't go snooping.

    My biggest piece of advice is to do your best to act casual, confident, and normal. No one will worry about you if you seem happy and healthy, but the diaper will take the blame of whenever you seem glum or depressed. Whatever you are "struggling with" will automatically be the diapers. Excel in life, work hard in whatever you do, and no one can say anything to you.

  8. #8

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    Ok. So I did it. I ordered them. Now I am totally stressing out! I want them but I feel so guilty for wanting them. Especially since it's not really a secret anymore. And there is no playing it off as a medical thing because I really only like AB printed ones. I'm just em arrested and feel like a fool. I can't sleep and can't stop crying because people know. I almost want to cancel my order. I shouldn't have ordered so many. I'm sorry if I'm rambling but I'm scared and humiliated all at the same time. I wish people understood why I like diapers. I wish I did.

  9. #9

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    It sounds like diapers have been extremely therapeutic and benefitial for you, with the weight loss and anxiety improvements, I don't see anything to be ashamed about? I'm a very practical person though, I do what need to be done, and try not to have regrets over any of it. I'd suggest you try to do the same.

    It's no different than say, wearing glasses. I remember I got mine in 2nd grade. I was terrified to be seen wearing them, but I couldn't read well without them, so every now and then when I needed them I'd quietly slip them out of their case and put them on while I worked, and put them away sa soon as I was done. I remember a few kids hassling me, as immature kids will do. But that was quickly forgotten by all, and within a week I had them on all the time, and life was much better for me.

    If it works for you, and it's nobody else's business, just do it.

  10. #10

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    Work going well is a very, very good thing, because therein lies the ultimate solution: Being out on your own. And not simply to get away from your family's scrutiny (that seldom actually happens anyway), but because there's no better way to convince them that diapers are harmless than to prove it. Step into their muggle shoes for a minute and just appreciate things from a parent's angle: Diapers are such a symbol of child-parent dependence that it's easy to see how they might become magnets for blame, especially if there are other life challenges surrounding them. As you rise up and conquer those challenges, your diaper habit will, in your dad's eyes, be steadily whittled down to a harmless (if still rather awkward) quirk.

    Diapers are as diapers do. (Doo.)

    Plus--and maybe this seems a little silly, but...: What other interactions do you have with your dad? Do you hang out at all? Do stuff together? Or is he simply the guy who owns the house you live in? I ask, because there's another angle to play, and that's to just give your dad other ways to interact with you. Because when the only interactions two people have are things like, "I went to get something out of that closet and found diapers in it...", well...yeah, that's no good, because you're both going to be defining the other by extrapolating from a relatively few (negative) things. Tomorrow's Father's Day. Take your dad out to breakfast, and plan to have some productive Q&A--not about diapers, but about other things going on in your lives. Who knows?

    But in very short: Tiny "bad" (strange) things are easily amplified by the wider circumstances. And, a lot of times, you'll enjoy far more success by chipping away at those wider circumstances than you will by arguing the merits of that tiny "bad" (strange) thing.

    ---

    In the meantime, though, try to calm down about your diaper order. If, as you say, wearing diapers has helped you, then take a deep breath............................................ and realize that you've got some great things to say if your dad expresses concern. You might not go so far as to pin your successes on wearing diapers, but you can certainly take an oblique approach, like: "Yes, I have this quirk. It's embarrassing to talk about, and I am trying to keep it private. I find that trying to suppress it causes me to become preoccupied and hurts other aspects of my life, and I've been doing a lot better lately since I've accepted it. I know it's confusing to you, but it's been a part of me for a long time, and it'll help me a lot if I can just stop worrying about it and move on. I'm sure you'll agree that there are better things for me to be worrying about!" Or something like that. Just be humble and honest.
    Last edited by Cottontail; 18-Jun-2016 at 18:25.

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