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Thread: This is my situation, any advice?

  1. #1

    Default This is my situation, any advice?

    I love my partner. I feel like I'm leaving a piece of myself behind when we're apart. It hurts me every time she is upset. The very last thing I want to do is hurt her. But it makes her feel sick when I wear diapers.

    She knows that I feel a need for them, that they help me when I'm stessed. She has told me that I can wear them whenever I want, just not to bed. She says that I shouldn't let the way she feels stop me, but I don't want to do that to her.

    Add to that the fact that we have an almost three week old daughter. For now she is too young to notice, but what about when she is older? I don't want her to be embarrassed by her father.

    I want to wear diapers, especially to bed. I'm not sick. I'm not breaking any laws. I'm not hurting myself or anyone else. But I still have to hide who I am, to protect myself and the people I love.

    I just don't want to hide anymore.

  2. #2


    At first I read your post and said to myself "I can relate to that." and then I thought "I have no useful advice." Both may be true. I understand not wanting to hide anymore, and sort of understand wearing to bed. (makes me sleep terrible.) But don't (ok maybe try not to) put your partner in a situation where they are over exposed to a habit that they just can't understand. I suspect that you both have plenty of other stresses with a newborn in the house.

    About the newborn - IMO when I have kids, I'm not going to tell them about my diaper habit. Unless they somehow find out about it, exhibit some DL/ABDL tendencies, and are old enough to understand that there are some things you can't tell everyone. Otherwise, I'm not going to mention it. Although I am pretty terrified I'm going to screw up parenting enough that it's going to be a problem.

    We all have to hide in some way - the world is a terrible place. I understand not wanting to have hide who you are from your partner.

  3. #3


    I have been with my mommy for over 8 years now. We have a daughter. When she is awake or around we cover them up. She found them one time and it was daddys underwear. I found that when she was born though padding took a back burner. I t had to. She needed a father more than i needed my diapers.

  4. #4


    Here's my advice. First off, you have have a new child, so now is not the time to add extra stresses. I'm guessing she's nursing at the moment, so she's going to be very tired and your job is to keep things running for her. Your diapers can wait.

    In the long run, I think the two of you need to work through this together. She understands your need, you understand her issue, and the current arrangement leaves you unhappy. So when she has more time and energy in a while (when she's no longer nursing might be a good time) then have that conversation and say you want to work together to try and come up with a better arrangement.

    Maybe there are ways she can acclimatize slowly. Maybe there are ways you can set aside time for wearing. Maybe you can just get some different pajama pants. Who knows. There might be creative ways to reach an arrangement where you don't feel like you have to hide a piece of yourself to please her.

    As far as kids, any sexual stuff, whether diapers are involved or not, is best legit private. I think diaper wearing generally is best kept somewhat private, in much the same way one wouldn't flaunt regular underwear in front of their kids. I don't think having a diaper on under regular clothes is some kind of huge problem with kids, it's just thicker underwear, but if it's something that makes you nervous then by all means avoid diaper time when the little ones are around.

  5. #5


    I suspect that many of us who are married, have gone through these same kind of problems. When my kids were first born and I was changing their diapers, my diaper desires dissipated substantially. But after they were potty trained, the feelings came back, big time. My wife didn't know about my wanting to wear diapers as I was too embarrassed to ever bring it up. Because of my job, I had Fridays off. The kids were in school and my wife was at work, so while I vacuumed and cleaned the house, I got to wear diapers and that was enough. In fact, it was bliss.

    I would have loved to have worn diapers to bed but that was out of the question, so I had to be satisfied with the limited wearing. I think that when we marry, if we don't tell our SO, or if they don't approve, we have to decide which is more important, being diapered or staying married to the person we fell in love with.

    Time will be on your side. After the kids were gone and off on their own, I told my wife and she was very accepting. Your wife will have a lot of time to grow more comfortable with your diaper wearing. I would start slowly, wearing when it doesn't bother your wife and when you can wear without your child, (more children to come?) won't notice. Life is about not always being happy, not having everything you want and making many sacrifices. This is simply one of those sacrifices.

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