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Thread: Worried parent

  1. #1

    Default Worried parent

    Hi folks
    Today when I tucked my eight year old daughter into bed, I had an awkward conversation.
    She was visiting our 50 yo neighbor today who was BBQing with his two equal aged girlfriends. He is your average middle aged man who is also a biker and has a regular job. He is nice and friendly to us although kind of rough sometimes. Just average like anybody. Except for his girlfriends. Whatever today he invited our daughter over for a sausage. Didnt think much of it. So when I tucked her in she told me he had kissed her on the forehead three times.
    I felt a tightening sensation in my chest. She was totally casual about it when telling me but it didnt feel right at all for me. I asked her how she felt about it, if it was awkward in the slightest for her and she said no. She also appeared totally normal, personality-wise. But I cant brush off this weird feeling I got now. I think this was totally inappropriate even if it was just a friendly smack on the forehead. Am I overreacting? I didnt tell my wife about this yet

  2. #2


    I would definitely have a talk with him. Even just to clear things up, but definitely to reinforce that you are not comfortable with him touching her.

    Unless he is like a close friend, I wouldn't be for that at all.

  3. #3


    Hey, I thinks it's pretty straight forward. Obviously as your uncomfortable with this, he's clearly not close enough to be doing this, so it's not on. However, on the off chance that this was a harmless gesture from him, why stuff up your relationship. I'd simply let your daughter know that it's not really appropriate for this man to be kissing her on the forehead, and that perhaps she should not go over their unaccompanied. Again, if nothing weird is going on, you don't want to unecessarily frighten your daughter. Go with your gut feeling dude. You know the situation best.

  4. #4


    If he had kissed her once on the forehead, I'd think little of it, but three times seems like a red flag. I'd discourage my daughter from gong over to his place unless your or your wife accompanied her.

  5. #5


    That three times was, what was making it sound really weird for me too. I just can't tell if he is just the person who was raised in that affective touchy way and doesn't know better or not.

    I seriously couldn't bring this type of ... suspicion up personally with him, not over such an ambivalent gesture, although it might be sensible. Having her just not go there unattended and drop the topic for now seems the best solution at the moment. Thank you for all your opinions. I couldn't think straight.

  6. #6


    Even if it was just him being nice three times is weird unless he was just drunk and dumb at the time and being overly emotional. But I would be there with her next time she's around him. Ive seen children get hurt and it makes me go fucking nuts to even think about bad things happen to kids. I can't be responsible for my actions if I see a child being abused, I'll rip that person apart with my bare hands.

  7. #7


    It's hard to say what his intentions were, but the behaviour raises valid concerns about your daughter's safety. If you're going to err, you want to err on the side of caution when it comes to your daughter's safety. For your own peace of mind she should not be alone with him.

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