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Thread: Forever Alone?

  1. #1

    Default Forever Alone?

    This might just be a late night, sleep deprived post, but I've been feeling pretty crappy for many years now for just one thing.

    It hit me a few months back, that I'm 30 (that's not old, but it's getting there) and I've never even had my first kiss, girlfriend or any girl-whatever.

    When I was younger, leaving high school, I had a life plan already thought up. Get married, have kids, teach them and watch them grow up, and my wife and I get old. But nothing but pain/annoyance has shown itself to me.

    Losing my job by a lay off, getting discharged from the military due to medical reasons, just all around what I guess would be depression due to all the stuff above, I just feel like I can't/won't have anything.

    I know people say there is always someone out there for a person, but I just don't think I can believe that now.

    I feel like I'm a teenager/early 20's male and always looking for a younger female to my current age + 3 (of course of legal age, 18+). I guess this is due to me never having a girlfriend. I don't know. (This isn't taking my DL/Little side in discussion)

    Then throw in that I'm a DL, and of course we all know they are far in-between each other, and if we aren't we usually don't make it known. Most people frowns or just freaks the F out if you were to be found out (or tell them) that you like wearing diapers.

    Where is that special someone come from? I know that there is *someone* out there for me, but I don't want to be a person who goes through his entire life without ever finding someone to love, never starting a family. I want kids, I want to be able to play with them, teach them, do things with them, that I can do now. I don't want to be 40, 50 or whatever and possibly finally have a kid, but then not be able to do anything, without the possibility hurting myself (back, hernia, etc.)

    I'm 30, had to have all my teeth pulled, can't find a job in this crappy town or surrounding towns/cities, I feel like a total depressive train wreck loser.

    I'll say this, I hate bars, dislike drinking alcohol (except on rare occasions), don't like going to parties, scared to death to talk to females since a lot of them (around here at least) look older but are underage (learned this from a regular customer when I worked at a gas station job, nothing bad happened, but still.)

    Maybe I'm just overthinking things again like normal. Maybe I'm destined to be forever alone and without children. I'd love to have a boy and girl child.
    I would adopt, but LOL I'm a white male, adoption agencies/government would never allow it and if they did it would be stupidly expensive and take 2 or 3 times the length as a married couple.

    I'm just so tired of everything going wrong in my life.

    Am I thinking on this too much or what?

    And if anyone says get a hooker, I'll virtually punch you in the face


    I think I'm going to go to bed, hug my teddy bear and hopefully get some sleep tonight.

  2. #2


    DISCLAIMER: This is my option, I'm entitled to it, yada yada. Yes it's sexually specific (not sexist) but that's just how nature is. I didn't make the laws of nature, I just follow them.

    Okay, let's kill a couple myths.

    1) you are special and there is another special person just waiting for you. <--- all lies. Most people do the same junk as most other people and that is a GOOD thing. Most women don't want special, they want an instantly recognisable (but particularly high quality) product they can show off to their girlfriends.

    Secondly, there is no woman waiting just for you. To be fair, most women don't wait these days. Women who are waiting want a man with several particular features.

    2) if you just wait Miss Right will come up to you. <-- This one is particularly toxic IMHO. It emasculates men and turns them in to little lap dogs who 'wait their turn'. What they don't realise is that they're waiting for miss right to bed 30 blokes before she finally gets knocked up and needs someone to pay for the kid.

    3) women like nice guys. <-- they don't. They like exciting men, if that man is kind or cruel is often lost in the moment or they don't take enough time to make a proper evaluation. They say this because they want a man who is powerful, confident and healthy. Unfortunately a lot of men let power go to their heads and can't handle a situation not going their way. (You can guess what happens next).

    Go watch some David Attenborough. We're no different than most of the animals he documents.

    As for finding a woman, you might want to try fetlife. Look for a local meet up that interests you. I'm also going pm you a website that should help you learn some more confidence.

  3. #3


    You seem to be trapped in this situation and in this city. if you don't like bars or alcohol is not an obstacle! You can meet people via internet dating sites. And if being DL is a big part of your personal life, a specialized site may perhaps suit you : as said Fetlife, This is not the first time I hear about it too, seem to be a good way to meet people with same interest and hobbies. Anyway, to find a "special someone" it takes to be in "research"stage, to be in action. Not just waiting until potentials partners appear in your life. Although it's way easier to said it to do it ,life isn't so simple... Also, the most complicated part for everyone is that, To be loved by someone we must first know to love ourselves. I know its sounds pretty naive, but self-esteem is a big part of the vision that others have of you. Take time to learn what you like about yourself.

    But remember that YOU'RE NOT a "train Wreck" NOR a "looser" man. You're just someone who passing through a bad time in his life. Do not let depression to prevent you to move forward. And you're not the first nor the last person to been a late-bloomer or to have job or health problems. It's more common than you think. You're just 30 ! this is a step but not the end of your younger years so far !

  4. #4


    My goals in life are different (always just been looking for fun, never anything long term), but I feel some of this may apply.

    First mini rant.. yes if you become a student of human psychology and subscribe to all the red pill stuff you can learn to "get the chicks" through via manipulation and playing off various triggers, but in my opinion it's scummy as hell and what kind of relationship can that possibly lead to.

    I guess my point is, don't try to be something else to attract women. Be yourself, do things you enjoy in environments where there are women. Best way to get over awkwardness when dealing with anyone is to have a common interest to break the ice with.

    Contrary to what people say, I actually think having a variety of kinks is an advantage in this regard. Get on fetlife, find some groups, find and attend some local events. It's not like women with a kinkier side are any more confident than men when first branching out and exploring. A lot of them are going to these events for the same reason... looking for others like themselves, looking to meet people, etc.

  5. #5


    I would suggest a couple of things. First, work on yourself. Concentrate on getting a better job. I've always had to move a long distance to advance myself. It's just something that many of us have to do. I don't know what you look like, your weight or your overall health, but with some dedication, you can improve your general appearance. Again, I may be totally wrong as I have no idea what you look like. When I was in high school, I lifted weights, ran, rode my bike everywhere and wore clothes that were "in".

    Once you're in a place where you have some self confidence, make an account on E-Harmony or a similar dating sight. My son did, and that eventually lead him to the girl who became his wife. He's a college graduate with his Masters degree and I advised him to put that into his profile after he had been paired with a few duds. It helped him meet someone with whom he had a lot more in common.

    If you are shy and are afraid to go out and meet new people, get involved with an organization where you have to deal with the public. As others have said, girls won't just come to you. You have to put yourself out there and you have to have something to offer. Good luck.

  6. #6


    Hi sorry you feeling down.
    OK I get the having children thing. I eventually adopted an adult, which is a lot easier than a child. My Paddy who also accepted me and my Little side dipper as well, and me cared for each other,

    Being Asexual makes life easyer regarding relationship becouse all I ever look for is freanships.

    Realty hope you can find someone that will make you happy and you are never to old to play.
    It just takes longer to get to the top of the claiming fram. My body is 48 so believe me I know.

  7. #7


    It's unfortunate but there is still ageism in our society and it can cause significant stress when people feel they have not reached all their goals by the time they reach a certain age. The truth is, however, that very few people are where they want to be by that age, which leads to feelings of disappointment and self blame. As I get older, I see more people forced to work past retirement age because they were never able to save enough for their golden years. I see more women having children later in life, past their thirties to establish their careers before giving birth. For myself, I went back to school as a mature student and really didn't settle into work I loved until I was well into my thirties. In short, turning 30 is just a number, perhaps a time for reflection or to re-evaluate your goals, but please remember, that very, very few people have everything they want in life by your age.

    The most important thing to remember is that our life dreams shouldn't be set on a tight, irrevocable deadline causing you blame yourself if you don't have everything you want, but rather, think of it as a time to adapt, revise or set new goals. And if you look closely, you may even identify some good things you've accomplished. It's all part of the journey of life, and there can be a lot of good years still ahead of you.

    Another thing you need to consider is how much of these circumstances are out of your control. In these recessionary times, anyone can lose their employment, and it's more often a reflection on a tough economy than it is on an individual. There's no shame in that. It's the same with the military discharge. You can't blame yourself for this happening when it's a result of medical reasons. So please, try and find it within yourself to stop beating yourself up over the things over which you have no control, and focus instead on the things you can control. There's still much you can accomplish.

    People have given some great suggestions here, such as checking out Fetlife to meet people, or see if they have any ABDL munches in your area. Just getting out of the house might be a good start. If the lack of employment is a problem where you live, than you may want to consider moving to an area with better opportunities.

    It sounds like not having children is causing a lot of stress and anxiety to you. I don't know how it works in the US, but I don't think it's impossible for a single, white male to adopt.. Here's a story of a single male who was in his late thirties who had a positive experience when he adopted:

    Of course, the child service agencies want to ensure the child is placed in a viable home, but that doesn't rule you out.

    I think there's still time to achieve your goals as long as you are realistic about your expectations, timelines and are willing to put the work into it, not to mention being a bit kinder to yourself. One area you haven't identified as an area of concern is your own self-esteem and image. I think a number of the goals and hopes you identified will require at least a modicum of self-confidence to succeed.If you are not able to motivate yourself and take some control, if you are simply writing yourself off, then I am concerned there could be serious signs of depression which can lead to you feeling this way. The link below has some good resources for finding help in your area (Texas), if indeed this is holding you back.

    Hope this helps. I wish you the best. And please let us know how you're doing.
    Last edited by Starrunner; 04-Jun-2016 at 15:14.

  8. #8


    Thanks you everyone

    Sorry I haven't replied back sooner, I went off to play a game to try to help this and it seems to have helped a little bit. I'm feeling better.

    I'll look into FetLife and see what it has to offer.

    As for moving to a new city/town, I can't. My grandparents health prohibits it. I drive them to where they need to go, doctor visits, eye doctors, grocery shopping, etc.

    As for adopting, I would love to adopt, especially if I could get a brother/sister/B&S twins. It has been a dream to have both as children, but I guess I shouldn't push it.
    It's generally expensive and a long process from what I understand from adoption agency services. It's not unheard of for a single male to adopt, but it does seem to be much more difficult to do so.
    Of course before I could even attempt it, I'd have to find a good paying job.

    With that being said about the job. I had another interview and was later sent an email stating that they would not be interested in me. No reason given for it either. That makes this the 14th interview. 15th time the charm?

  9. #9


    Interviews suck. Period. Recruiters often have to look at hundreds of resumes, so they only take seconds to do so. Have you looked into services that could help you optimize your resume? Tried using the tags/keywords from the job posting in the body of your resume, near the top?

    Having an "in" is the easiest way to get a job. Do you have any friends that have connections to people in the field you're interested in?

    Things will get better, life always has a funny way of working itself out. Overused and unhelpful platitudes aside, it looks like landing a solid job will help you accomplish a few goals so I wish you the best of luck in that endeavor

  10. #10


    I do have friends on the inside of a few places. Which are some of the places that I've had interviews at.

    I'll get something sooner or later.... If not, I might end up on 5th and Main /troll

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