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Thread: Something new from my Wife

  1. #1

    Default Something new from my Wife

    Hey All

    Few nights ago my Wife and i were discussing things and she brought up my nappies.
    To cut a long story down. I had said to her that i have noticed that we arent as close as we used to be. I'm talking emotionally and physically.
    it turns out that it isnt really about me and wearing my nappies. its more to do with the bad experience she had with our two girls.
    Basically when they were babies they had reflux. What this is that they couldnt hold down their milk and continuously be vomiting. if they werent doing that they would be screaming their heads off because of the amount of pain they were going through from the stomach acid burning their throats. Poor girls.....Poor Wife........

    So my wife had to handle all this stress while i was at work. Not so nice.
    The relation between my nappies and my two girls is that the baby cream or powder i use (and no matter what brand i use), this brings all those memories back for her.
    For most people including myself those smells brings me good and happy memories of my girls when they were little but for my wife complete opposite.

    I now understand her a bit more which im really happy about.
    It does put me in a difficult position though..... I want to help her not to remember those memories but at the same time i want my nappies.
    I have been good i think and not worn to bed and when she gets home, if i have a nappy on will finish using it then take it off and not put another one on or if its nearly finish, as soon as she gets home i go take it off.

    I'm not sure how else i can help her and still have my time. What do you think?

  2. #2

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    its simple and you probably already know the correct answer, its time to say good bye to your diapers.
    if you Love your wife want to stay with your wife and you do not need Diapers for a medical issue then loose the Diapers

    we all give up something to keep our wifes happy as they give up something to keep us happy

  3. #3

    Default

    Can you use an alternative to the cream/powder that has a different scent?

  4. #4

    Default

    You Are incontinent, you Need diapers, if that's the case, then explain your condition

  5. #5

    Default

    Yes, if you are IC, how do you not use diapers or some sort of protection? I'm sure there's a way to work around this. Not using the powder or lotion, more smell control, possibly a better quality diaper that reduces odors?

  6. #6

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Rob110 View Post
    its simple and you probably already know the correct answer, its time to say good bye to your diapers.
    if you Love your wife want to stay with your wife and you do not need Diapers for a medical issue then loose the Diapers

    we all give up something to keep our wifes happy as they give up something to keep us happy
    I think that's pretty poor advice, especially when they haven't explored other options and when the issue isn't about the diapers themselves but about a related item.

    So, let's back up here. As a few people have noted, you've listed yourself as incontinent, so it seems like a no-brainer that you'd need diapers and not have a choice. From your post that doesn't seem quite right though, but you want the diapers. So, let's look at your options.

    1. Work with your wife to get over the memory. It's possible to create new associations with things like scents, but it can take time and she probably won't want to go through that. Consider this a long-term slow option.
    2. Change up what you're doing. You said it's any brand of baby cream or powder, but maybe you can use something else instead? It might not be ideal, but a different adult product might not conjure the same images and still protect your skin. You could also not use cream or powder, depending on how sensitive your skin is. They're not required at all and if you do a good job staying clean, you won't get a rash.
    3. Make diaper time separate from time with your wife. You two can't be together all the time, and since she's understanding, maybe you can find some other opportunity for it.


    Regardless of what you do, though, talk to her. Your complaint is that you and she haven't felt as close lately. You're not going to fix that by switching something that bothers her for something that bothers you. It will just switch the person who feels resentment. You have to talk to her, go over the fact that you have this issue and it's a tough one to solve without one person feeling bad, and figure out what you can do to work out a compromise.

  7. #7
    MarchinBunny

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Rob110 View Post
    its simple and you probably already know the correct answer, its time to say good bye to your diapers.
    if you Love your wife want to stay with your wife and you do not need Diapers for a medical issue then loose the Diapers

    we all give up something to keep our wifes happy as they give up something to keep us happy
    I see this advice pretty often, and I don't understand when people give it. It's terrible advice because giving up diapers isn't exactly the easiest thing for an AB/DL to do, not to mention there are so many alternatives that can be talked about long before you ever come to the point of entirely giving them up.

    Also, you shouldn't have to give up something you love for your wife. If you do, it's a terrible relationship.

  8. #8

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by ArchieRoni View Post
    1. Work with your wife to get over the memory. It's possible to create new associations with things like scents, but it can take time and she probably won't want to go through that. Consider this a long-term slow option
    One thing to look into is systematic desensitization (exposure therapy), which is a practiced technique for dealing with phobias and associations as far as I'm aware. The official process is a little more involved than just exposing yourself to the stimulus, but I've heard it works pretty well.

  9. #9

    Default

    A quick Google for different scented 'baby powder' brought up multiple products. I'd say the solution here is very very easy.

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