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Thread: Mixed Messages

  1. #1

    Default Mixed Messages

    So I've got an interesting quandary on my hands... I've been a DL all my life, but always kept it quiet and on the down low until I became incontinent from unrelated reasons (trust me, that part is not fun, even for a DL). My significant other has (obviously) known about my diapers as a necessity and has been supportive of me, almost to a conspicuous degree.

    The only time she's directly exposed to them is when we go to bed at night, as I change myself in the bathroom and always wear clothes over them, but she's repeatedly mentioned that "you know, some people are into that kind of thing" while stroking my diaper and pulling at the tapes playfully. In addition to this, one time when we were at a house party at my friends' place where we were staying, I had to step away to change my diaper as it was getting full. I walked away without telling anyone what I was doing and started to change in our room, and she came knocking on the door looking to watch me change, and even said "we could be married some day, so I want to see". In addition to even that, I had some sample diapers I had ordered that didn't fit me that she asked about, I told her and she said "Oh, well maybe I'll wear them"... and she has no problems with IC at all.

    So, anyone here would think "She's gotta be a DL", right? Well, I was a bit shy to bring it up for a while, but finally suggested she try one on. The response I get? "Oh no, oh god no, haha". I mean, the way I phrased it was more of asking her if she'd like to try t as opposed to saying I'd like her to try it (realized that after the fact), but still this is a rather mixed message. Even though we're still totally cool, I was absolutely not expecting such a negative response after all those cues.

    I'm not sure how (if I should even try) bringing it up again. I guess I'll wait for the next hint from her, unless she completely stops that?

  2. #2


    Hey, not sure how long you've been together, like if it was before you became ic, but maybe she knew about this before and never said anything. This may be her way of trying to support you without letting on too much that she already knew.

  3. #3


    Since she is supportive of you having to wear diapers, and have been throwing hints out like that, it might be time to talk with her. Ask her how she knows other people are into wearing and using diapers that don't need them. Make that the opening question and per answer, then choose your next questions to ask. She might be a DL, she might have known you were a DL and is tyring to feel you out, testing to see if you really need them or is it just a DL thing and your saying you need them.
    I was a DL before having to wear because loss of bladder control. My wife found out about my DL side and wasn't happy about it. When I lost bladder control, she at first was wondering/questioning if I was faking/making up the bladder issues, but she went to all my urologist and there was no doubt I can't live without them now. My wife isn't one that is into diapers, but she has come along and has accepted and allowed me to just wear a diaper and shirt around the house, she will buy me diapers and supplies if I need them, and if I am medically not able to change she will help, but that is the only times. Diapers are just to me the best ever underwear and since I treat them like underwear that gets changed more often, life has been so much better.

  4. #4


    Thanks for the replies. She knows people are into it due to being involved with a crowd that hosted club nights in parallel to a fetish night, and saw some people representing the extreme ends of our crowd out at public events. Not necessarily the best intro to the scene here, but it also makes her hints even more perplexing. She even mentioned it later in the day in a sort of "that was weird how you asked about that" sort of way. Then the next morning she's rubbing my wet diaper and saying "mmm diapey", then making a face and saying she could never wear one.

    I don't think she ever learned of my DL side, as I kept it pretty far on lockdown, but anything is possible (never did it in the same house, never browsed it on the same computer, etc). I think it might just be a case of letting her warm up to it on her own terms, as she's pretty fairly open to things like that, She has no problems with me walking around in just a tshirt and diaper, but I generally wear something over it (like PJ pants) just from a modesty standpoint.

    I was ready for a yes or a no, but this is just a tough one on me, heh.

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