I have bad relationship with my birth parents because they emotionally abused me ( and a bit physically too).
2 years ago I found a online Mommy.
She helped me to overcome a lot of my difficulties.
I explained my AB side to her and she accepted it well. I'm currently 29 in few days and my AB side has 12, but with her full support I managed to grow up. Lately I felt like a young men of 20 years old. We talked almost everyday since 2 years.
But 3 months ago I opened up my heart to her about new shit I'm undergoing.
On the 7th of March she told me that she needs a break because she overwhelmed now and she said that some of my words hurt her but she never told me exactly which ones. She said she needs time.
I tried to contact her again a few times. I apologies for some things I said because I thought that was the things that hurt her. I also said I love her from the bottom of my heart. She never answered.
I've no news from her for over two months and I feel sad and bad. I have very dark thoughts, stronger than before I met her. I feel guilty for everything, I feel little more than ever in a bad way, I feel unsecured and I think I don't deserve to be loved.
I don't know what to think. She said that I was her wonderful boy, that a true mommy loves her boy all life long, she never lied to me, she said that I was a part of her, she said she will never abandoned me, but now when I write beautiful and lovely messages to her, she doesn't answer.
I would write to her for the French Mother day on May 29th but I don't know if it's a good idea...
I feel like an orphan ;(.
I'm lost and I start to sink...
2 years ago I found a online Mommy.
She helped me to overcome a lot of my difficulties.
I explained my AB side to her and she accepted it well. I'm currently 29 in few days and my AB side has 12, but with her full support I managed to grow up. Lately I felt like a young men of 20 years old. We talked almost everyday since 2 years.
But 3 months ago I opened up my heart to her about new shit I'm undergoing.
On the 7th of March she told me that she needs a break because she overwhelmed now and she said that some of my words hurt her but she never told me exactly which ones. She said she needs time.
I tried to contact her again a few times. I apologies for some things I said because I thought that was the things that hurt her. I also said I love her from the bottom of my heart. She never answered.
I've no news from her for over two months and I feel sad and bad. I have very dark thoughts, stronger than before I met her. I feel guilty for everything, I feel little more than ever in a bad way, I feel unsecured and I think I don't deserve to be loved.
I don't know what to think. She said that I was her wonderful boy, that a true mommy loves her boy all life long, she never lied to me, she said that I was a part of her, she said she will never abandoned me, but now when I write beautiful and lovely messages to her, she doesn't answer.
I would write to her for the French Mother day on May 29th but I don't know if it's a good idea...
I feel like an orphan ;(.
I'm lost and I start to sink...
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