Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11

Thread: Hello From the Rocky Mountains

  1. #1

    Default Hello From the Rocky Mountains

    Hello, from the Rocky Mountains of Colorado.
    I assume this is the place where everyone goes and gets that uncomfortable self introduction out of the way; by telling everyone a little bit about themselves. You know the post that very few ever really read unless later down the road the person turns into a total ass, or this amazing person and you decide to look back at their other posts... Yep this is the place.

    So... something about me and what brings me to this forum.

    I am 30 something, and I wear diapers. I am not incontinent, in fact, quite the opposite. I have a condition called Fowler's Syndrome (yep, that is why the screen name). Prior to being diagnosed with Folwer's disease/ syndrome I was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome.

    I find it interesting that many people diagnosed with Asperger's also find comfort in wearing and using diapers, as I sometimes do.

    I also have a condition called Folwer's Syndrome/Disease which started to manifest when I was around fifteen, but wasn't formally diagnosed for many years because of my Asperger's. Rather "my potty issues" were thought to be worsened from being pregnant. This false belief was compounded by a statement I made in a session to my therapist after my 1st hospitalization for "urinary retention" that I found the idea of diapers comforting.

    --Of course, I found the idea comforting because before being rushed to the emergency room and leading up to my transfer to the psy ward (all apart of that "1st hospitalization", I had totally humiliated myself all over the lunch room floor.--

    Anyhow, Fowler's Syndrome is the reverse of being incontinent and it is basically the inability to pee and sometimes poop. Some people with Folwer's are mildly affected while others, like me, have to use a catheter every single time they need to pee. And for others they also have complications pooping.

    For many years, I didn't know what was wrong with me and I was told it was because of my Asperger's that I had issues going to the bathroom. I was taught to self-cath at the ripe age of 15 and 3 months, it was beyond embarrassing.

    Once when searching for a hall pass in my pocket, the wrapper from the cath fell on the floor and I was sent to the principal's office to explain. But that story is one I hope to share in a later post.

    Even though I self-cathed, I still wore diapers throughout most of my high-school and when I started college. This is because without warning I would suddenly pass out and pee myself. I now know this was because of the urinary retention getting so severe that my body physically and mentally shut down, but back then it was simply another embarrassment.

    This cycle continued until my freshman year of college when I got mono and became so exhausted that I didn't have the energy to self cath, so I decided to leave the intermittent cath in place and just let the pee flow into a diaper. More-over, my body seemed to appreciate the catheter because, in the past, I often had difficultly removing the catheter once I was done peeing. I later learned that the fact that my body tended to "grip" the catheter was just another symptom of Fowler's.

    I was amazed by how freeing this whole experience was, and I continued to use my new technique on and off for over 16 months. That is until the dreadful day when one of the intermittent catheters slipped up inside my bladder and I had to go the to ER to have it removed. Again utter humiliation, I also had to explain to the urologist I had been seeing for several years why I was "choosing" to leave the catheter in place. And again both of these accounts are something best suited for another post.

    But suffice to say she didn't understand so she transferred me to a young doctor they had recently recruited; he did listen and eventually understood.

    Currently, I still use a "modified" intermittent catheter when I use the diaper and cath technique. I haven't had a single urinary infection or kidney infection from the modified catheter. And prefer the diaper to a collection bag. I don't "use" a diaper every day but I do have to wear some sort of protection most days.

    So that is a bit of my story.

    Now on to the part of what brings me here....
    Well, somewhere along my journey, I began to wonder what would happen if I un-potty trained myself. Would it be possible to allow myself to become diaper dependent? I wasn't born with Fowler's and I have to wear a diaper most days. And times, like today, I pop the cath in and just let it go.

    No one knows for certain how to even treat Fowlers and I have tried nerve stimulation, but I am hesitant on the whole botox injections. So my diaper dependent intrigue is one of the things which brings me here. I have read the boards many times, but I haven't contributed and I think I would like to learn more about the upsides of wearing diapers, and I would like a place where I can share some of my accidents. I am also starting to have issues with pooping and rather than go it alone like I did before, this time I think it would be nice to have a place where I can chat with others.

    Lastly, I often feel guilty about the comfortable feeling I get when the cath is in place and I am able to simply pee into a diaper. I hope being able to share some of my real life account will help me to feel less guilty. Also, I struggle with sometimes using the cath and diaper method because I feel there is something wrong about doing so.

    I guess it is because of this mixed bag of feelings that I fantasize about someone coming along and taking over the responsibility for the decision of wearing a diaper that I started writing stories many years ago. I would like to share some of those fictional stories here, where maybe they will be enjoyed.

    So, in closing, I just want to say I look forward to learning more and please feel free to ask me any questions.
    Last edited by Fowlerea; 09-May-2016 at 02:31.

  2. #2

    Default

    Hello Fowlerea and welcome to the group.

    A very interesting introduction.

    We would still be interested in hearing something about your hobbies and interests, so that we may get to know you better.

    Anyway, thank you for the educational introduction and welcome to the group.

    Egor.

  3. #3

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Fowlerea View Post
    Hello, from the Rocky Mountains of Colorado.
    (snip)

    Hi and welcome to the site. I'm sorry to hear you have had such a difficult time of it. After back surgery, I had to cath myself for a month or more until the swelling from the surgery went down and allowed my nerves to function properly. It sure wasn't any fun, at least not for me, and I was afraid it was going to be a permanent situation. I"m sure it would be nice for you if you could find a solution that didn't involve catheters. Anyway, I wish you the best.

    I think your situation is unique to this membership, but we're very good at supporting one another. We do have members who have Asperger and certainly members who are incontinent, so you'll have plenty of people to discuss this with.

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Fowlerea View Post
    Hello, from the Rocky Mountains of Colorado.
    I assume this is the place where everyone goes and gets that uncomfortable self introduction out of the way; by telling everyone a little bit about themselves. You know the post that very few ever really read unless later down the road the person turns into a total ass, or this amazing person and you decide to look back at their other posts... Yep this is the place.

    So... something about me and what brings me to this forum.

    I am 30 something, and I wear diapers. I am not incontinent, in fact, quite the opposite. I have a condition called Fowler's Syndrome (yep, that is why the screen name). Prior to being diagnosed with Folwer's disease/ syndrome I was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome.

    I find it interesting that many people diagnosed with Asperger's also find comfort in wearing and using diapers, as I sometimes do.

    I also have a condition called Folwer's Syndrome/Disease which started to manifest when I was around fifteen, but wasn't formally diagnosed for many years because of my Asperger's. Rather "my potty issues" were thought to be worsened from being pregnant. This false belief was compounded by a statement I made in a session to my therapist after my 1st hospitalization for "urinary retention" that I found the idea of diapers comforting.

    --Of course, I found the idea comforting because before being rushed to the emergency room and leading up to my transfer to the psy ward (all apart of that "1st hospitalization", I had totally humiliated myself all over the lunch room floor.--

    Anyhow, Fowler's Syndrome is the reverse of being incontinent and it is basically the inability to pee and sometimes poop. Some people with Folwer's are mildly affected while others, like me, have to use a catheter every single time they need to pee. And for others they also have complications pooping.

    For many years, I didn't know what was wrong with me and I was told it was because of my Asperger's that I had issues going to the bathroom. I was taught to self-cath at the ripe age of 15 and 3 months, it was beyond embarrassing.

    Once when searching for a hall pass in my pocket, the wrapper from the cath fell on the floor and I was sent to the principal's office to explain. But that story is one I hope to share in a later post.

    Even though I self-cathed, I still wore diapers throughout most of my high-school and when I started college. This is because without warning I would suddenly pass out and pee myself. I now know this was because of the urinary retention getting so severe that my body physically and mentally shut down, but back then it was simply another embarrassment.

    This cycle continued until my freshman year of college when I got mono and became so exhausted that I didn't have the energy to self cath, so I decided to leave the intermittent cath in place and just let the pee flow into a diaper. More-over, my body seemed to appreciate the catheter because, in the past, I often had difficultly removing the catheter once I was done peeing. I later learned that the fact that my body tended to "grip" the catheter was just another symptom of Fowler's.

    I was amazed by how freeing this whole experience was, and I continued to use my new technique on and off for over 16 months. That is until the dreadful day when one of the intermittent catheters slipped up inside my bladder and I had to go the to ER to have it removed. Again utter humiliation, I also had to explain to the urologist I had been seeing for several years why I was "choosing" to leave the catheter in place. And again both of these accounts are something best suited for another post.

    But suffice to say she didn't understand so she transferred me to a young doctor they had recently recruited; he did listen and eventually understood.

    Currently, I still use a "modified" intermittent catheter when I use the diaper and cath technique. I haven't had a single urinary infection or kidney infection from the modified catheter. And prefer the diaper to a collection bag. I don't "use" a diaper every day but I do have to wear some sort of protection most days.

    So that is a bit of my story.

    Now on to the part of what brings me here....
    Well, somewhere along my journey, I began to wonder what would happen if I un-potty trained myself. Would it be possible to allow myself to become diaper dependent? I wasn't born with Fowler's and I have to wear a diaper most days. And times, like today, I pop the cath in and just let it go.

    No one knows for certain how to even treat Fowlers and I have tried nerve stimulation, but I am hesitant on the whole botox injections. So my diaper dependent intrigue is one of the things which brings me here. I have read the boards many times, but I haven't contributed and I think I would like to learn more about the upsides of wearing diapers, and I would like a place where I can share some of my accidents. I am also starting to have issues with pooping and rather than go it alone like I did before, this time I think it would be nice to have a place where I can chat with others.

    Lastly, I often feel guilty about the comfortable feeling I get when the cath is in place and I am able to simply pee into a diaper. I hope being able to share some of my real life account will help me to feel less guilty. Also, I struggle with sometimes using the cath and diaper method because I feel there is something wrong about doing so.

    I guess it is because of this mixed bag of feelings that I fantasize about someone coming along and taking over the responsibility for the decision of wearing a diaper that I started writing stories many years ago. I would like to share some of those fictional stories here, where maybe they will be enjoyed.

    So, in closing, I just want to say I look forward to learning more and please feel free to ask me any questions.
    Hello!

    I myself have Asperger's Syndrome.
    I also have Cerebral Palsy.
    I see that you too have Asperger's Syndrome.

  5. #5

    Default Did I do something wrong?



    Quote Originally Posted by egor View Post
    Hello Fowlerea and welcome to the group.

    A very interesting introduction.

    We would still be interested in hearing something about your hobbies and interests, so that we may get to know you better.

    Anyway, thank you for the educational introduction and welcome to the group.

    Egor.
    Did I do something wrong? You said it was an interesting post, but I hope that means it was ok and didn't break any rules. I must admit I haven't really shared this part of my life with many people, so in my intial post I tried to explain as much as possible without going into any details.
    My therapist, several years ago, thought it might be good for me to go to a support group but she admitted that she didn't know me well enough to suggest one. I thought maybe this type of group would be better for me because I could share easier without as much fear saying the wrong thing, so really hope I didn't mess up my introduction and if I did maybe I can get another try to make it less "interesting".

    Oh and good to know there are more Aspies out there and thanks for the welcoming words from everyone.
    And as for my other interests hmmm ... I like many Aspies have a very unique niche of interest very closely related to the work I do. My concern is sharing those interests would more than likely make me less anonymous and I am not quite ready for that step so please bear with me for the time being. 😊🎈

    PS if u are reading this Andrew thanks. 👍

  6. #6

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Fowlerea View Post
    Did I do something wrong? You said it was an interesting post, but I hope that means it was ok and didn't break any rules. I must admit I haven't really shared this part of my life with many people, so in my intial post I tried to explain as much as possible without going into any details.
    My therapist, several years ago, thought it might be good for me to go to a support group but she admitted that she didn't know me well enough to suggest one. I thought maybe this type of group would be better for me because I could share easier without as much fear saying the wrong thing, so really hope I didn't mess up my introduction and if I did maybe I can get another try to make it less "interesting".

    Oh and good to know there are more Aspies out there and thanks for the welcoming words from everyone.
    And as for my other interests hmmm ... I like many Aspies have a very unique niche of interest very closely related to the work I do. My concern is sharing those interests would more than likely make me less anonymous and I am not quite ready for that step so please bear with me for the time being. ����

    PS if u are reading this Andrew thanks. ��
    Oh you did just fine.
    Growing up and how we were treated in school has an efacted lot's of us .
    I'm no deferent we tend to be very sensitive person's thinking we are doing something wrong.
    Old tape's play In our head's from what other have told us over the years from teasing and other.
    Event's.
    Your introduction was fine .
    Not all are into detail's about messing or wetting.
    Many of us do get comfort wearing diapers it takes me to a safe zone
    Where I'm not hurt by others for In my case it's very hard for me to let others in and trust.
    Having been hurt in many ways.
    So for me it's a self loving thing.
    So welcome to the site little hugs your way.

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Fowlerea View Post
    Did I do something wrong? You said it was an interesting post, but I hope that means it was ok and didn't break any rules. I must admit I haven't really shared this part of my life with many people, so in my intial post I tried to explain as much as possible without going into any details.
    My therapist, several years ago, thought it might be good for me to go to a support group but she admitted that she didn't know me well enough to suggest one. I thought maybe this type of group would be better for me because I could share easier without as much fear saying the wrong thing, so really hope I didn't mess up my introduction and if I did maybe I can get another try to make it less "interesting".
    Hello Fowlerea

    I am very sorry if I did not word this clearly.

    I personally found this to be a very interesting and educational introduction. I have a medical research background and had never heard about this condition. IT was not a surprise to me, because that is an aspect of conditions that I have seen a lot. The major condition is always heard about, but there is always a lesser know direct opposite condition that is not studied that much.

    You did nothing wrong, it was a very clear and detailed introduction for why you are here.

  8. #8

    Default

    I have been doing a great deal of thinking since posting my introduction. And I decided to go ahead and try to unpotty train myself. I am hoping this will process will lead to me no longer needing to self-cath every single time I have to pee. I realize in the beginning this won't be possible, and I will need to keep the catheter in place for several months. But I wasn't born with Folwer's Syndrome, and none of the doctors have any sort of treatment option so I figure it is worth a shot.

    The next morning, I decided to go ahead and get started on my new venture and spent all of Wednesday night with the catheter and diaper in place. Surprisingly, I slept well, only waking a couple times. I tried to continue on Thursday, but I was unable to make it all through either all day Thursday or Thursday night with the catheter draining and gave in around 3 this morning. The constant stimulation is a lot for me, and I am still worried someone will notice or that the diaper will leak. Also, I had major errands scheduled for Thursday morning and I am still semi paranoid of others noticing my diaper.

    Nevertheless, I am sticking to my decisions a last to "un potty train." Along with "getting started", last Wednesday, I decided to make an appointment to tell (not ask) my doctor about my choice. He was able to see me this morning. He wasn't all too please by my choice, and urged me to reconsider but after I explained myself for what seemed like billionth time. He conceded and we put a plan in place.

    Rather than shoot for nighttime, I am going to try for daytime diaper dependence, and slowly increase my time using a diaper. This will significantly decrease the number of times I need to self-cath. And it will make it easier for me to change most frequently, so as to reduce my chances of "infection". Also, during the day, I will drink more, and so, have less of a chance of "dehydration."

    To make sure both my mind and body stay healthy I agreed to continue counseling, and agreed to have a home health "carer" come over a few times per week.

    Most importantly, I agreed, at the 1st sign of infection, I would discontinue the "extended catheter and diaper" use and explore "other, more standard, treatment options." This last one provision has me a little concerned, but I have never had an infection before from using the cath and diaper so I will just have to hope my luck holds out.

    I felt petty good leaving the doctor's office, and I look forward to seeing if I can make any head way in decreasing my dependence on intermittent catheters.

    -------------------------------
    PS not sure where I should post this so I will just place it as a comment on my introduction.

  9. #9

    Default

    Good luck. I'm glad you are discussing your options with a doctor who is making sure you stay healthy. Often people in our community want to try to become incontinent, but try to do so in ways that are not medically safe. So the fact that you are working with a doctor that you trust and can talk to is wonderful!

    I have also not heard of Fowler's Syndrome before. Our bodies are fascinating. Like my aunt that has 3 functioning kidneys. How did that happen? I'm always interested in learning people's stories. There is a show on cable in the US called Story Trek, and they randomly pick a city, and then a street, and they go knocking on people's doors to try to learn more about them. The idea is that everybody has an interesting story, even if we don't think we do.

    Anyway, just another welcome. I'm also in the Rockies, and I'm hoping you have a great experience here in our community. We pride ourselves on being helpful and kind, so I hope you get that feel from us. This really is a great group of people here.

    All the best.

  10. #10

    Default

    Thanks, all the support has all ready been great. It really does help to be able to open up and talk about stuff. And I even chuckled when I was writing the latest update to my introduction.

    Although, I will be happy once I am explore the site more fully and post to other areas. But I am also a patient person, and if it takes 18 more updates before that happens I can survive.

    Anyhow here is my latest update to my journey thus far and once again I posting it to my intro because I am not yet a full contributor and I don't where I should be technically posting it to.

    ==========================================
    Saturday May14th, 2016
    Last night, went so well in the diaper and cath that when I did wake I found I hadn't leaked or anything. Even so, because I had made an agreement with my doc, to try for daytime rather than nighttime, once I did wake, I reluctantly got out of bed and change into a pad and took the cath out.
    I am still marveling at the incredible night sleep I got and how well rested I feel today.

    This afternoon, I had to make a quick trip over to the pharmacy to get my vitals checked and then a little after 1pm, I put the catheter in and diaper on.

    My goal for this afternoon (and while I am diapered up) is to get this journal entry done, do some work at my computer, and then go to the grocery store. If this is going to work I need to work on my reluctance to wear and use a diaper in public. It isn't anything new. In fact, I am more hesitant to wear and use in with friends and family but I guess that is too be expected.

    Update Sunday May 15
    Good thing Friday night went so well because despite my best intentions for Saturday, I ended up giving up halfway through the afternoon due to some horrible IBS cramps and pencil thin poos. I don't think I am quite ready to shit myself, mainly because the clean up seems rather involved, but it may come to that sooner than I think. Everyday, it is getting harder and harder to release my poo. I am aware this can happen as a result of Fowler's Syndrome and I am currently to the point where I am having to use an oil based suppository in order to get started and then sitting on the toilet for endless hours waiting for the shit storm literally to end.

    My original plan was to hold off on deciding whether or not to poo my pants until after I had accomplished peeing without the catheter in place but I am not sure if that is still going to be doable.

    Every time, I do go poo I am left feeling like I still need to pee and so I have to use another intermittent catheter. So if I am constantly back and forth to the toilet pooping, I am left with a very sore bum and my pee-hole tends to be just as sore.

    I have tried holding the intermittent catheter in place whist pooping but that doesn't seem to work either and more than once I have had to go fishing for the catheter in a sea of, you guessed it, crap.

    Needless to say I was very glad when the cramps finally passed this afternoon and I was able put the modified catheter and diaper back in place. The warm wet pee from the catheter as it passes into the diaper is actually rather soothing on my sore places.

    Unfortunately, I know this reprieve is just that. And sooner than I like the IBS cramps will start up again and I will be back to square one.

Similar Threads

  1. Mountains out of molehills...
    By KittyninjaW in forum Mature Topics
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 25-Jun-2015, 04:18
  2. Rocky Mountain Hi
    By dlore2177 in forum Greetings / Introductions
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 07-Apr-2015, 04:46
  3. Rocky movies!
    By WildThing121675 in forum Off-topic
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 13-Sep-2011, 03:58
  4. Greetings from the Rocky Mountains
    By Karibw in forum Greetings / Introductions
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 29-Jan-2011, 18:01
  5. Rocky Mountain Fur Con
    By FullMetalCow in forum Babyfur / Diaperfur
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 11-Jul-2010, 03:57

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.