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Thread: So now I know

  1. #1

    Default So now I know

    Hi. I am not really looking for advice, I just don't have anyone else to talk to about this except my wife and I just need to tell someone else how I am feeling today.

    My wife is an amazing, wonderful, accepting person and we both love each other dearly. However, I think that she tolerates more than accepts that I am ABDL. I told her two years ago and she was incredible. She stopped me feeling like the freak that I had felt all my life, and really helped me embrace the AB side of myself as I had always just though I was a DL. In fact, she used to positively encourage me to wear diapers as it helped me feel better about myself. She was the one who persuaded me to go out in a diaper for the first time. She bought me "little" gifts and introduced me to ADISC and premium diapers. It was like a dream come true.

    But, this weekend the kids went away and we didn't really see eye to eye. She wanted me to "get the baby thing out of the way" so that we could enjoy the weekend together. We didn't do this as I was not in the right frame of mind as we were meant to be going away and I had messed up sorting it out.

    We did go away and we had a wonderful time together. But on the first night I pulled out a diaper as usual and her reaction was "really". I still wore it, but then we talked the next day.

    I really thought that we wearing diapers was not an issue, but I know it is something that doesn't interest her. But now I know it grosses her out still. Me wearing my own urine...

    So where I am today is that I can't wear around the kids (we both agree that this is the case) and I can't wear when we are just the two of us (unless it is just to get it out of the way with). The only time I can wear is at night when the kids are asleep. Now don't get me wrong, that is still amazing and more than I ever hoped for, but I only know about it for 10 minutes before I go to sleep and 5 minutes after I wake up. It is still incredible to wake up in a diaper though. I just thought that going shopping or wearing in front of her around the house when the kids aren't there wasn't a problem.

    I know I shouldn't moan as I am way luckier than many people who do not have accepting spouses, I just felt that I was in a place where diapers were accepted as a normal part of what I wear, but now I feel a bit down. Hopefully writing this will improve my mood as I just need to get on with it. I also need to wear a diaper soon! Not sure how a month in the summer without diapers will be (on holiday with the kids in hotels etc.), but hopefully I can get my head around this whole thing and move on. My wife is incredible and I need to stop feeling down. Thanks for reading this.
    Last edited by PyjamaBaby; 08-May-2016 at 10:25.

  2. #2


    Sometimes we mistake tolerance for acceptance, and women don't always say what they mean. Confusing.

  3. #3


    Oh, i'm sorry. Maybe she has just been changing a bit, or maybe she had hoped that by encouraging you it would go away after a while. Perhaps she was just hoping for some adult time with you and had something bothering her on her mind. The most important thing is to probably sit down at some moment and have an adult conversation with her and ask her if there was something wrong and tell her your feelings.

  4. #4


    As Tyger said, sit down with her and have an adult conversation. She obviously has something on her mind. I know women try to send a signal that often gets misunderstood or missed completely. It's time to sit her down and clear the air. Sit down and listen before saying anything. Let her clear her mind.

    She could be regretting this, not completely seeing eye to eye about this.

    As for the vacation coming up, maybe you can look in to some plain, adult sized cloth training pants. You can have some bulk. Check out

  5. #5


    Even if my wife were to tolerate my wearing and using diapers, I think I would still abstain from wearing during vacations or "weekends away." For example, we recently celebrated a significant anniversary, and even if my wife had been accepting (she isn't) I would not have worn during the trips we made expressly for that event.

    In recent years, the most I've gone without wearing was five weeks. That five weeks was torture for me. In my case, however, keeping my wife happily married is more important to me than diapers or anything else. So I suck it up and try to get by as best I can. When she mentions that my irritability or stress level is creeping up, I do not say "It's your fault because you won't let me wear diaper," although I may think it quite often.

    As the OP has noted, he's a lucky guy. I guess I'd opt for not pushing that luck ... but that's just me.

  6. #6


    Hi Babymt, from what you're saying, I think your wife is well beyond tolerance. But even acceptance can sometimes wear thin. Accepting something may be taking it on board, but doesn't necessarily mean embracing it. I'm sure that she accepts you as you are, but being human, she no doubt wishes at times, this wasn't part of your relationship. And it sounds like in a moment of frustration or despondence she's made her remark. The fact that she had actively supported you and not just simply allowed you to 'do your thing' to me definitely shows acceptance. I guess you'd like her to just love the fact you're wearing, but her experience will probably never match yours. Enjoy what looks to be a wonderful relationship, and be grateful for her acceptance by cutting her some slack as well.

  7. #7


    Thanks as always for your thoughts. I am feeling quite a bit better now. I do believe that she really does accept me for who I am. I pushed things too far at a time when we were not seeing eye to eye on something else.

    As you have said, time to clear the air. Thanks again. It feels good to be able to talk to you all. Hugs to all.

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