Hi. I am not really looking for advice, I just don't have anyone else to talk to about this except my wife and I just need to tell someone else how I am feeling today.
My wife is an amazing, wonderful, accepting person and we both love each other dearly. However, I think that she tolerates more than accepts that I am ABDL. I told her two years ago and she was incredible. She stopped me feeling like the freak that I had felt all my life, and really helped me embrace the AB side of myself as I had always just though I was a DL. In fact, she used to positively encourage me to wear diapers as it helped me feel better about myself. She was the one who persuaded me to go out in a diaper for the first time. She bought me "little" gifts and introduced me to ADISC and premium diapers. It was like a dream come true.
But, this weekend the kids went away and we didn't really see eye to eye. She wanted me to "get the baby thing out of the way" so that we could enjoy the weekend together. We didn't do this as I was not in the right frame of mind as we were meant to be going away and I had messed up sorting it out.
We did go away and we had a wonderful time together. But on the first night I pulled out a diaper as usual and her reaction was "really". I still wore it, but then we talked the next day.
I really thought that we wearing diapers was not an issue, but I know it is something that doesn't interest her. But now I know it grosses her out still. Me wearing my own urine...
So where I am today is that I can't wear around the kids (we both agree that this is the case) and I can't wear when we are just the two of us (unless it is just to get it out of the way with). The only time I can wear is at night when the kids are asleep. Now don't get me wrong, that is still amazing and more than I ever hoped for, but I only know about it for 10 minutes before I go to sleep and 5 minutes after I wake up. It is still incredible to wake up in a diaper though. I just thought that going shopping or wearing in front of her around the house when the kids aren't there wasn't a problem.
I know I shouldn't moan as I am way luckier than many people who do not have accepting spouses, I just felt that I was in a place where diapers were accepted as a normal part of what I wear, but now I feel a bit down. Hopefully writing this will improve my mood as I just need to get on with it. I also need to wear a diaper soon! Not sure how a month in the summer without diapers will be (on holiday with the kids in hotels etc.), but hopefully I can get my head around this whole thing and move on. My wife is incredible and I need to stop feeling down. Thanks for reading this.