How to show support?

I was actually going to talk about this topic in a video at some point. Human minds are very complicated and we are our own worst enemies.

We even can get what exactly what we want and reject it, getting upset and destroying that which we worked so hard to achieve.

To sum it up simply: Humans are silly and full of nonsense.

For instance, one could desire to have someone change they're diaper but the technical aspect that the caregiver doesn't truly understand it the way you want them to can cause a barrier that makes the AB/DL reject the caregiver.

Clearly, your significant other is not ready to deal with this situation. Even positive effort on your part can potentially be met with rejection, following my earlier explanation on how silly human minds can be. The best solution is to attempt to pick up the pieces and don't draw attention to it further. It's his choice to decide to open up. Until he makes that choice nothing you do will help matters. Your own mind is your enemy as well in dealing with the knowing but not talking about it. Just relax and do what you did before any of this happened. As I said, the ball is in his court in the nonsensical human mind... so it's going to take some time.

Flukeas said:

I snuck some more diapers into his stash but couldnt find his usual ones so bought diffrent ones.

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If you want to post a picture of one of the ones he has in his stash, I bet somebody here could tell you what kind it is. You might also try adding a bag of premium diapers to his stash -- the kind you can only get online. I'm thinking of an ABU or a Bambino or something.

You might also somehow invite him to use this site, or leave this site open on his phone or computer. Maybe some of us can help him and talk to him if he's not ready to talk to you yet.

-Paul

I don't think there's a 100% self accepting person here. I'm sure that the guilt and shame lingers despite the situation. Some of us try to get to the point to where guilt and shame isn't toxic.

He could have some tendencies in the AB spectrum. It could be undiscovered.

It also could be some sort of split personality. He's probably living between the two, keeping them completely separate from each other from the constant rejection that he's received.

You could set up a night by purchasing a sample pack of Bambino/ABU diapers. Put it in a gift bag and give it to him. You can put one on and gift the other or just gift him both of them. It's up to you and how comfortable you are and offer to put one on him. Perhaps he would open up to having a caretaker role around him or a brother role.

The ice should break sooner or later. It shouldn't be a permanent thing. It's just a thick layer to chip away at. Just be patient.

MeTaLMaNN1983 said:

Some of us try to get to the point to where guilt and shame isn't toxic. [...] It's just a thick layer to chip away at. Just be patient.

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Yes, and yes. I'm working with my therapist on the shame issues. She believes I can get to a point where I no longer feel shame, while retaining my choice to participate or not in DL activities. She believes it. We'll see how long it takes to get there.

MeTaLMaNN1983 said:

I don't think there's a 100% self accepting person here. I'm sure that the guilt and shame lingers despite the situation. Some of us try to get to the point to where guilt and shame isn't toxic.

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I for one am very ashamed. I hope nobody see's me dancing around in diapers! (Dances around in diapers and posts it all over the place) (giggle)