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Thread: Feeling...empty, hollow and sad.

  1. #1

    Unhappy Feeling...empty, hollow and sad.

    I don't know why but all of a sudden I fell into a depression. There's just so much hate in this world. Its sad to think that when we were children we were innocent and now as we get older, that innocents gets stripped away. That's why I still love to watch some of the old cartoons I watched as a kid, I just want to forget the world even if it's only one small episode at a time.

    I can't explain it but I just want to sit in the corrner and let it all out, but I can't. I spent much of my shity childhood learning how not to be such a pussy, I can't even show my feelings. Recently I watched Monsters: University, I remember how Randall Boggs was such a jerk in M. Inc. but in MU you see that he wasnt always like that. I kinda feel like Randy, surpressing myself, showing no emotion only for it to hurt more.

    And then theres the hole in my heart, I havn't been with anyone for a very long time and I just cant even fathom what to do. I'm busy with college but want to be with somone and...I don't know.

    It's not just a "phase", sure we all feel down somtimes but for me it's different. I've been pretty low before and every once in a while I get depressed again.

    Hopfuly once I finish my degree, and get a job I can get my own place where I can have someone to cuddle.
    Last edited by LordFluffybuttz; 26-Apr-2016 at 23:49.

  2. #2


    Mhmm. Sounds like the feeling of depression vs having clinical depression that I keep repeating to my friends and family. Some weeks are worse than others, I'll take the sadness over being lonely or numb that comes too.

    I'm in my holding pattern. Have the degree, job in my field and still underemployed, apartment living - and not much feels different. Keep your eyes open for good people. I have a few, but none real close.

  3. #3


    I've found that it's tough to get older. When you're young, grade school through high school, we tend to have these bonded friendships, the kind that give our lives meaning. But when we get older and become adults, we never really have that relationship again, at least not with a best friend of the same sex. I've written about it in my novel and childhood friendship is a central theme. But what takes its place is typically finding someone of the opposite sex, followed by marriage and then children. That's the majority formula. It changes for the gay community, but just in the pairing.

    As a college student, one is in that uncomfortable in between part of their life. Students are over worked, tired or sleep deprived, and stressed with the work and the constant nagging fear of not being able to succeed. And yes, as you stated, trying to find a mate, that certain someone who completes your life. No wonder so many college students must deal with depression. I failed classes as a student my freshman year because I couldn't make myself get out of bed as the depression was that bad.

    For most of us, it gets better. It did for me. After graduation, I reinvented my life. It took a couple of years but I got there, so don't give up on yourself. Take one day at a time, because worrying about several hundred future days all at once will make you sick. Concentrate on what you have to do this week and this month. Make time to socialize so that you can meet and be with others. I fortunately had a SO for most of my time in college. It really helped, and brought me happiness. I hope you can find the same.

  4. #4


    I think a big thing about the world today is that a lot of the structure that used to exist has been done away with because it was causing problems. 50 years ago, people in college were expected to be part of certain groups, like a church or other religious group, specific clubs or sports teams, or a particular dorm or affiliate organization. People tended to group up by wealth, by race, and by political alignment, among others. The upside of all that was that most people had a group of like-minded friends who supported them, provided them a place to socialized, and typically a place to meet a girlfriend and often a wife.

    The reason we did away with those things is that a lot of society was unfair. Dividing people up by the color of their skin never really made sense and hurt a lot of good people, as just one example. But in the process of doing away with a lot of the ways we used to divide ourselves up, it's become more difficult for people to find places of belonging. Now you're supposed to unite with others based on shared hobbies and passions, but a lot of us hit our teens and early 20s without really knowing what we want to do with our lives or what really motivates us and it gets harder and harder to find a place. I think we're also in a sort of transition period where people are coming up with new ways to match up like-minded folks and experimenting with a lot of different things.

    In the meantime, my advice is to keep at it. Do things that interest you: pick a sport, a type of music, whatever it may be find the thing that does hold a spark of interest for you and pursue it. Even if it's diapers, there are kink groups in a lot of places and fetlife exists. If you follow the things you like, you'll find the people who like them too.

  5. #5


    Keep ur head held high. Ik the feeling. I wanted to not go to work and stay in little mode all day. Life as an adult is hard and trying. But in saying that think bout this. Focus on what u can control via like finishing college, and the stuff u cant control try to roll with or avaoid it if u can. When i get super frustrated at work i start to suck on my tounge and picture me hold yogi (my teddy i cuddle with when i can)

    - - - Updated - - -

    Btw ur strong ull be ok. We are here to help each other. We need to support each other (we do here) huggles

  6. #6


    Hi LordFluffybuttz.

    I can so much relate to what you are saying.

    I to had these kinds of problems when I was in college.

    From what I read "on the fly" I think I saw a lot of good advice.

    For now it is possibly just the "workload" from college that is getting to you. I can remember back to the times when there was so much reading (I had a hard time with that) and then two or three papers that are dew back to back. You can and will get though it and when you get the degree you have such a felling of accomplishment, even though you will never use the stuff again in real life.

    The thing to remember is how you deal with the stress i.e. venting your feelings like this, and being able to move on with life.
    It is when the ability to do that becomes an issue.

    That is the path that I got on and it then became a major issue 20 years later.

    One depression spell is a short term problem. When they start to become a string of spells then it is an issue.

    Hang in there.


  7. #7


    My Maw-Maw died over a decade ago. But I was lucky enough to spend a year with her prior. She taught me Cajun cookin, reminded me how to hunt gators and life in general. Just hug who ever comes to your door, but hold a .45 by your side. I'll put down my .45 and just give you a hug.

  8. #8


    Just try not to think about it, cope however you need to but don't be distracted by your feelings at this precarious time in your life.

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