I don't know why but all of a sudden I fell into a depression. There's just so much hate in this world. Its sad to think that when we were children we were innocent and now as we get older, that innocents gets stripped away. That's why I still love to watch some of the old cartoons I watched as a kid, I just want to forget the world even if it's only one small episode at a time.
I can't explain it but I just want to sit in the corrner and let it all out, but I can't. I spent much of my shity childhood learning how not to be such a pussy, I can't even show my feelings. Recently I watched Monsters: University, I remember how Randall Boggs was such a jerk in M. Inc. but in MU you see that he wasnt always like that. I kinda feel like Randy, surpressing myself, showing no emotion only for it to hurt more.
And then theres the hole in my heart, I havn't been with anyone for a very long time and I just cant even fathom what to do. I'm busy with college but want to be with somone and...I don't know.
It's not just a "phase", sure we all feel down somtimes but for me it's different. I've been pretty low before and every once in a while I get depressed again.
Hopfuly once I finish my degree, and get a job I can get my own place where I can have someone to cuddle.