I've been discovered. Need some advice.

So last night my mom and I were talking in my room, and noticed that she kept looking over at my open closet and staring at something with wide eyes for a second or two. As soon as she left the room, I checked to see what she was looking at, and as I suspected, there was a diaper just sitting there on the floor that had fallen out of my hiding spot. She hasn't said anything, but I know she's got to be worried.

The reason I'm making this post is because I'd like some opinions on whether what I'm thinking about doing is a good move on or not. I'm at school from morning til evening and I'm thinking about sending her this text (while I'm at school) to explain things.

"So I know that you saw something in my room last night. I don't want to discuss it in detail, but just know that it's nothing to worry about. Nobody is perfect, and everybody has a few oddities. This is something that cannot do harm to me or anyone else. The only way something negative can come of it is if it becomes a problem with another person, such as yourself; in which case, it would be a major source of anxiety for me.

If you want to help, the best thing you can do is to not worry about it and not bring it to light."

I know it's super vague, but I really want to try to avoid getting into specifics. If she asks for more information I think I'll probably show her something online that explains it.

I would not send such a text. This should be discussed in person. If I were your mother, I would have checked things out today while you are at school. Let her take the lead in asking questions, and give her short direct answers to her questions. Tell her it is not harmful and tell her how wearing makes you feel. Hope things work out for you.

I will respond more in depth soon, but I can't now, all I can say is that the text as it is right now is vague over too many things, I think it has room for improvement. I'll get back to you.

Imagine that you saw a gigantic, veiny black dido in your mom's underwear drawer and she sent you a similar text. How might you feel? Would you want to discuss it further?

Trisy said:

Imagine that you saw a gigantic, veiny black dido in your mom's underwear drawer and she sent you a similar text. How might you feel? Would you want to discuss it further?

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...Except such a thing is obviously a sexual object. Diapers are not, and the op's mom could think they are suffering from incontinence, or otherwise not understand why her kid is wearing diapers.

aquaticdl said:

So last night my mom and I were talking in my room, and noticed that she kept looking over at my open closet and staring at something with wide eyes for a second or two. As soon as she left the room, I checked to see what she was looking at, and as I suspected, there was a diaper just sitting there on the floor that had fallen out of my hiding spot. She hasn't said anything, but I know she's got to be worried.

The reason I'm making this post is because I'd like some opinions on whether what I'm thinking about doing is a good move on or not. I'm at school from morning til evening and I'm thinking about sending her this text (while I'm at school) to explain things.

"So I know that you saw something in my room last night. I don't want to discuss it in detail, but just know that it's nothing to worry about. Nobody is perfect, and everybody has a few oddities. This is something that cannot do harm to me or anyone else. The only way something negative can come of it is if it becomes a problem with another person, such as yourself; in which case, it would be a major source of anxiety for me.

If you want to help, the best thing you can do is to not worry about it and not bring it to light."

I know it's super vague, but I really want to try to avoid getting into specifics. If she asks for more information I think I'll probably show her something online that explains it.

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OK, so my thoughts on this.

I can understand if you want to discuss this by way of text, it is really hard to say the word 'diaper' when it is the first time opening up to somebody about that. If you were trying to approach your wife/gf, or had some other close connection, then I'd say you shouldn't text, but in this case, I'd say that it is an OK idea. However, if the conversation goes on past a few simple messages, then I'd say you had better request a person to person conversation, text conversations are not great.

So, you have two options, you can tell her, or you can pretend nothing happened and go on with life. It really depends on what you think is the most likely outcome. If you think that your mom is going to be the type to start digging in more into the situation(searching your room, intercepting mail, checking your phone and computer), then maybe you should intervene. If you think that your mom is the type to just avoid it because she is either timid about approaching it, or is the type to just live and let live, then you are probably best leaving it alone at least until you reach a point where you are prepared to move out if necessary. If you think that she is acting differently around you in a negative way afterwards for no other explainable reason, then it also might be a good thing to just break the ice, but expect possible drama. Determining what is the most likely outcome is really dependent on your own judgement of your mother's character.

So, if you really want to do this in a text, let me give you a sample of what I would say:

Mom, the other day we had a conversation in my room and based on my observations, I believe that you saw an adult brief on my closet floor that I didn't mean to have laying there. I just wanted to bring this up and say that you don't need to worry about anything, and I'd rather not talk about it, but if you have any serious questions then I'd like to get them out of the way quickly, otherwise I hope we can just brush this aside.

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The main thing with the text that you provided, is i think it gets a little too defensive and it sounds like there is a whole world of questions that you expect her to be asking that she might not have even considered. It is certainly vague, but it goes vague for too long. If you want to use what I said, or just re-write what you said, go ahead, reduce the defense, as well as not show your expectations of what she might be thinking of it.

Tyger, that is a nicely worded text.

Thanks a lot guys. After reading what you've said, I've decided to forgo the texting option for now. I'm just gonna wait it out and see what happens.
I'm glad I decided to go here for advice. I really appreciate your input.

I was thinking the same as Tyger, that I wouldn't discuss it via text, but you could use a text to say just that, "do you want to discuss this?" The easiest thing is to say nothing and hopefully nothing will come of it. Discussion however, might actually alleviate either worry or confusion that your mom may be experiencing.

When my mom discovered mine, she cornered me about it, so I had no choice but to say, yes, I liked wearing diapers. You have some latitude, either to discuss or let it pass. Since you know your mom and we don't, I suspect this is a decision only you can make.

Trisy said:

Imagine that you saw a gigantic, veiny black dido in your mom's underwear drawer and she sent you a similar text. How might you feel? Would you want to discuss it further?

Click to expand...

If you're think this is the same as OP's situation then there's very likely nothing to worry about.

KimbaStarshine said:

...Except such a thing is obviously a sexual object. Diapers are not

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Are you sure ? :biggrin:

I think you'd - aquaticDL - let it go. If your mother didn't said anything, is because probably she knows. Is realyy better for both don't discuse about that. And if you'll be confronted, so that's another deal.

I'd agree with silence for now. I'd also suggest paying attention though. If she seems worried about you or distracted over the next several days or weeks, you might calmly bring it up, in person in a way that puts it in her court to begin the conversation. Like "hey, it seems like you've been a little distracted recently. Was there something you want to talk about?"

That puts it on her to explain her worry to you, and then you could address it if needed (like "no, I don't have a disease or an infection").

I will also have to agree with not talking about it to her right now. In most cases I would say not to bring it up unless your mom initiates the conversation but if it is obvious that it is bothering her than I would say go ahead and talk to her about it.

Keep it to yourself. There's no need to give her something to stress about that she might not understand. Mothers worry about enough things when it comes to their kids. You're gonna create quite the uncomfortable situation if you choose to come clean. If she asks about the diaper say it was for a prank.