So before i get into this i know i will probably receive so criticism over how i handled this but i don't care about that
So I'm rather conflicted lithesome recent events and need opinions and advice or just general life info.
I have an ABDL Instagram account, and on it i occasionally dwell into some political debates with right wingers. We take you now to one of these pages, where i find a photoshopped picture of the tykables stand at Folsom street fair in Michigan made to look like a Bernie Sanders rally and a predictable follow of stupid and obnoxious comments insulting Bernie and the attendees. And right off the bat i recognize it, but something else clicks in my head. I remember how obscure our niche fetish/lifestyle is, and that its rarely to never mentioned or joked about unless someone is actually into it. We aren't like BDSM or foot fetish people who are joked about and referenced constantly, we are no where near that popular or well known. So immediately i get suspicious of this guy and proceed to open and check his following list. No surprise the motherfucker follows ABUniverse and a few other dl pages, and even underoos. So this begins to eat the fuck out of me on the inside, the idea that someone could be so backwards/closeted/repressed that they would go out of their way to demonize and criticize a group that they themselves belong to. At first, i just flat out call him out and ask why he's posting this stuff while following abdl pages at the same time. As you can guess, he immediately blocks me and deletes my comment.
Now i guess this has been a problem my whole life, but i couldn't let this meaningless interaction go. I understand that i have no idea who this guy is, that ill never meet him and that he will never have any effect on me outside of what i allow him to affect me by obviously going to his page, which is a fault on my side in the first place for looking for this kinda shit. But out of sheer principle and idea of what is righteous and moral, i could not let that hypocrite leave my thoughts.
(And this is where ill start to get criticized at)
So i made another Instagram account and went back to his page. I argued with him for 2 days over just plain political shit until a semi friendly side dialogue arose from it. I then proceeded to start DMing him as if i wanted to break from the debates and have some milder small talk. After a little bit of that i brought up the underoos page saying i was also a fan and gauged his reaction. Apparently he doesn't know that your following list is public and that anyone can see who you follow, so i lied and said that Instagram's popular feed showed me similar pages and likes from others and that his page happened to pop up. After making sure i didn't spook him away i asked him what he'd think if i said i had a diaper on under my briefs. At first he plainly said he's not interested, and i segwayed back to normal convo. But then he asked what brand, and then told me his preferred brand was cushies.
So at this point mentally I'm screaming to myself "motherfucker i have you now" and then dive head in with the diaper talk. It turns out this guy is married to a woman who less than shares in his desires and that he actually resents himself for having these desires. And the further and further i dove, the more regretful and bad i felt for this person. He actually believes that you are who you want to be, that you can choose those certain aspects of your life that make you who you are and crop out the ones you don't want to have. Ive never encountered anyone so repressed or in denial over who they were, him thinking his entire personality is a blank canvas to be customized like a phone case. I try to explain to him that maybe you are born pre made with certain tendencies preferences and dispositions that cannot be explained and that you should love yourself for what you are rather than hate yourself for what you're not. But of course, trying to convince a repressed person of their fears is like trying to pull a fishing hook out of hardened concrete. Nearly impossible and ultimately more destructive than productive. So at this point i don't know what to do. I don't even feel angry or vengeful or insulted anymore, i feel pity and hollowness. Obviously this is again a pandoras box that i have put myself in but still, this whole experience has lessened the faith i have in humanity and makes me think about all the broken people that inhabit this rock. and how someone could spend their life not being who they are and running away from themselves to chase a glamorized image of what they could be. I don't know, i just wish accepting yourself wasnt so hard for others.