Over the past couple of years, my ABDL desires have been steadily decreasing. In the mid-2000s, I actually wanted to go 24/7, and I did it several times for periods as long as a month. I wore to bed every night almost without exception. I started acquiring plastic pants and better diapers and cloth diapers and other ABDL gear as my finances would allow. In 2008, I went to my first large event, a diaper party in Vermont, at which I met so many great people, with some of whom I remain friends even now. I used to go to fetish events. I used to wear to work. I used to be much more open about it in general, and I told a number of my friends during that period.
Now, though, it's maybe once every month or two I even feel like wearing a diaper at all, let alone bother with putting one on. Even then, once I've worn that one diaper for awhile and it's time to change, I pretty much never put on another or even want to put on another. I can't even remember the last time I really felt any of my AB side, either, nor can I even recall the last time I put on a onesie or sucked a paci. I actually got an invite to a big diaper party, and between my current finances and lack of interests, I pretty much completely blew it off. Right now I'm not employed, but I never wore to class at all. I don't know that I'm at a point where I'd tell any of my friends that don't already know.
Honestly, I sometimes feel as though a part of me is dying. There are days that I miss wanting to wrap up and relax. There are mornings I wake up thinking it would have been nice to have a diaper instead of feeling the need to get to the bathroom. But, on the occasions when I've tried wrapping up to assuage those feelings, it felt... artificial. Fake. As though I were putting on a costume instead of something I'd wear naturally. As though I were putting on a mask and trying to be the character depicted by the mask even though I was not acting.