unistudent said:
Hi,
I'm writing a paper for my Anthropology class on the AB/DL lifestyle. I've found it really interesting looking through the various sites. I want to accurately portray the community, while I don't have a diaper fetish myself I have my own fetish which is often criticized and ridiculed. If it isn't too intrusive I wanted to ask a few questions:
Are there any general or unspoken rules to belonging to this group?
What issues or problems do you face due to your fetish?
What does being an AB/DL mean to you?
What are some common misconceptions about AB/DL's?
Whatever you feel like answering or commenting would be very helpful. I want to get an AB/DL's perspective. Thank you in advance for any of your feedback. It is very much appreciated.
-unistudent.
I think the majority of us here enjoy answering these kind of questions, partially because there is not much awareness or understanding about AB/DL's.
It is hard to say that there are actual rules to AB/DL's as a group, because AB/DL is really more of a tag, there isn't really an official group, as there would be if you were talking about being in the "Catholic group" or something of that sort. There are many communities though, as far as I'm aware, reddit.com/r/abdl, fetlife, and adisc, hold some of the largest of our numbers.
Really the only unspoken rule that I can kind of think of, is the more popular opinion that you usually only tell your special other about your AB/DL side, and not usually anybody else. However some, including me, will be much more open about it, I am because it really helped me accept myself, and feel more comfortable in my own skin knowing that people were ok with it and wouldn't reject me if they did find out on accident.
Some issues that i think we face, is that people often consider it 'just a fetish'. AB/DL means a lot of things to a lot of people, and it isn't always sexual. There are actually a lot of AB/DL's that consider this side of them to be simply a relaxing way to spend time. Feeling regressed to the age of a young child/baby, is very calming because you don't feel like you have to worry about anything, since baby's are always taken care of. You get to feel familiar sensations as to what you would have as a baby, and it is just amazing to go back like that. So for somebody like me, being an Adult Baby, was first, a method of feeling little again, it only became something sexual after puberty, but before then, I always wanted to have my stuffed animals with me, and had a fascination with getting back into diapers.
Another issue that AB/DL's face, is the fear that people who learn about us, will mistake this lifestyle as being pedophilia. The big difference between the two, is that we want to BE/FEEL-LIKE a baby, while pedophiles want to have sexual contact with a baby, there is a huge difference, in the fact that we have nothing to do with involving minors. It should be very obvious that this is the fact, but the association of diapers and everything else, just makes it easy to be afraid of misinterpretation.
Another big trouble with our lifestyle is, that it is hard to get started. As a first time buyer of diapers, you don't know of any of the websites you can buy from, you don't know how you can order it without people seeing a giant box at the door for you and not asking what is in it. You usually only know of buying diapers in the grocery store, so you have to go there, and then you have to get the guts together, to buy a package of diapers, while trying to keep a straight face. You get major butterflies for the first while, because you are afraid of other people discovering that the diapers are for you, and you just hope that maybe they think you are buying them for somebody else.
Another problem we face, is that it is difficult to get good distributors of AB/DL supplies. There are a few good ones, but even with the good ones, there is not much variety either. Since AB/DL's appear to be a small portion of the world, there isn't much catering towards our needs. There is a whole bunch of items that us AB/DL's would love to buy, but don't get made. Sure there is the default, pacifiers, bottles, bibs, diapers. What you don't see much of though, would be other babyish things like a baby bouncer for instance, in an adult size. Kribs are also expensive, and it is hard to have one if you are trying to be a closeted AB/DL.
Being AB means to me, is that I get to experience the euphoria again of being a little baby. Being excited over silly things. Wearing and having really cute stuff. Having the companionship of my stuffed animals, and being able to cuddle with them. Feeling safe in a clean diaper, and nursing on a bottle of milk. Listening to lullabies to go to sleep. These are all things that everyone enjoyed at an early time in their lives, so it only makes sense to me, that some of us may have never stopped enjoying it.
Being a DL on the other hand, is a very separate side of me that isn't a regressed little side, instead, I look at myself as an adult who enjoys the sensation of wearing a diaper, and finds it sexually arousing to have on myself, and to see on other adults that i'm attracted too. The moment that this personal aspect of self changes, is if my hormones are high, just like any other adult who acts one way in their normal life, but then when they get sexually excited, starts to act very differently. My AB side is not mentally stored in the same place in my head as my DL side, and the only thing that really associates between the two, is the fact that diapers are involved. It is easy to explain how that got associated between something that is totally innocent, and something that is sexual, because it is an object that is hugging your genitals, and one day puberty kicks in, and that object suddenly gets associated in your mind with sexual behaviors.
I think the most common misconception about AB/DL's, at least for those who learn by media, is that all AB/DL's want to be treated like babies all of the time. Personally, I would enjoy it for the most part, but I also enjoy feeling like a productive member of society. Most AB/DL's actually live closeted, or only their special other knows, so they actually spend most of their time as an Adult, only some get to spend 24/7 diapered, and even fewer get to spend 24/7 being treated like a baby.
Another misconception that could exist, is the idea that since we enjoy such a simple and mentally non-demanding lifestyle, then we may not be that educated. However, a while ago a thread was started to poll Adult Babies on this website, the results are very interesting, and I think you would really enjoy them for your report.
http://www.adisc.org/forum/showthread.php/81165-What-is-your-level-of-Education