Changing my little mind.

[Marting]

I've mentioned my anxiety and OCD before, but tonight I think I may have had a revelation that will help me (and maybe some of you).

I have obsessed so much recently, and have wanted my little time to be an escape from my anxious mind. However, when little my obsessions have seemed to get worse rather than better. All of these obsessions have seemed to be based around how children of my age would act/behave, what cartoons they would watch, whether they would be potty trained, what sort of nappies they wear....the list goes on! What has been so frustrating about this, is that by thinking about how accurately I can be little, I have ended up snapping myself out of little zone because I was getting so anxious, which negates the reason for me being little originally (to escape anxiety).

My little age has always been that i am 2 going on 3. Tonight however, I think that I have come up with a thought that could change my mindset completely. When I was talking to my wife/mummy the other day, she was telling me, that when I'm little, I'm still me, and that I'm just a me that allows myself to be vulnerable. This got me me thinking! Why do I think it is important that I am a certain age when I'm little? If I allow myself to be vulnerable me, rather than me who is exactlyour 2- 3, then it won't matter if my behaviour is appropriate to my age, or whetger a cartoon is to old for me, or whether I'm to old to be in nappies, or how I would act in general at that age. I guess what I'm saying is that rather than being 3 year old child, I'm going to try to change my mindset to being me and vulnerable, and cared for by my mummy. I hope that this might help me to snap out of worrying about minute details, and just enjoy the experience of being innocent, without worries, relaxed and enjoying my little life!

What do you think? How specific are you on your little age? Do you see it as a sort of therapy too? Lots of questions. I suppose what I'm saying is, what is your mildest when you are little? Does it help you in your life over all?

Hope the post isn't to detailed?

Lots of love.

Martin x

 

[BabyDenise]

That's an interesting way to think about it.

My little age is around 18 to 24 months but I take a lot of adult, teen and toddler mannerisms and details into that play. That is, I picture myself as a small child but I do things that I want to do. This sets up things that a 'real' child would not encounter. I can eat a hoagie or baby food, drink a soda with a straw or from a bottle, etc.

In short, I do not act as a real 18 to 24 month child but as me acting as a child.

 

[siysiy]

Hi Martin.

What You described was Age playing and getting obsessed over playing at being an age.
Nuthing wrong with the people that like to age play. But i not an age player I am a Little.

Let go of all worrying the Inner child will guide you, how he wants to be the games he wants to play and the cartoon he wants to watch. Just relax you can not get it wrong.

It like letting your socks of one colour make friends with socks of a different I go on holiday in the t-shirt draw. It OK.
So you got odd socks on and you got them out of the t-shirt drawer. No one is going to tell you off unless you tell you off. And then it "but why." "Yes but why though!"

Being a Little is about letting your self be who you are on the inside. And accepting who you are.

An age player if asked how old you are will give there age that they are trying to be. An little will look at you a bit confused and probably give you their physical age. As we have no idea of our age on the inside. We just are. And that OK.

Hope this helps you to enjoy being who you are on the inside as will.

Sisi

 

[Marting]

Thank you so much both of you. Yes, that make so much sense! I think I'm little rather than an age player. I have a long way to go on this journey of self discovery, but I'm excited about the adventures to come. X

 

[Zendot]

Like all of you said, this is something I found out as well.

In littlespace I'm still me of course, but I'm more vulnerable and child-like, just as you pointed out Marting. And like BabyDenise said I can do both adult or child activities, as long as the adult activities aren't very adult, like deep thinking or discussing topics, watching something that includes violence or more adult themes, etc...

A year or two ago when I started exploring my little side I too struggled to enjoy more toddlerish activities, but once I did let go of that and stopped obsessing over it, I discovered littlespace is more of a mindset, although certain objects and activities can and will enhance while others might have the opposite effect, and I also found out that by not forcing it, I slowly started to enjoy some of those activities, like colouring, playing with toys and watching cartoons.

Edit: just to say that what BabyDenise describes is pretty much how I behave when when in littlespace. Even the age, I picture myself around 18-24 months.

 

[MagicMeow]

I am not specific at all with my little age. I think its the best way to go about it, what your mommy/wife said is what my mommy has said to me, allowing oneself to be vulnerable.

 

[ozbub]

What does little know of age. Little is only concerned about little. Of course little loves appropriate associations with being little, it helps to mask the confusion of being big. Little feels and sees what is visible only to the heart and the imagination. It does not seek to replicate an age or stage; it simply is. An uncomplicated simple expression of what lies innately within. The key to unlocking it is to throw away the key. Seeking to unlock it is an adult concern, little knows nothing of inhibition. If there is inside of you a little person, set them free, not by any contrived means, but by simply letting them be. Allow intuition to lead you there. If you feel held back, that is your overbearing, over rational adult self controlling you...do as you feel (but only in a safe space - the world is afraid of things it doesn't understand - or at least of things once known but long forgotten)

 

[Marting]

Ozbud, that is a lovely definition!