I had a lot of violent things happen to me when I was young, from bullying, to a lot of fights including knifings, to being hit by a car and almost killed. I was a cutter and I'd set my arms on fire. I'd push needles through my arms through the skin, mostly. I would be attracted to one friend and do almost anything they wanted me to do. If they weren't home when I wanted to be with them, I'd be very upset. My mom would just punish me, spanking when I was young and grounding me when I was older. When I was grounded I couldn't be with my friend, so it was tough on me. Fortunately I had my music, and I did other things like build models, especially model cars. I had to be doing something all the time. At some point, things got better for me.
I had to give up drinking in 1985 because it gave me a bleeding ulcer, something that again, almost killed me. Now, I enjoy life for the most part. I have days where I'm depressed, so I'll find something to do like clean the house. I write and I play my keyboards and otherwise stay busy. It helps.