What is your first memory of regression ?

[Prillprillprill]

I was a little ever since I was little.
Or rather I regressed. Some of my earliest memories of being aware of my little side included my friends saying I was cute because I was small and, also wearing overalls and just getting baby. I liked things that were babyish, and I also remember being jealous of you younger children. Also vividly remember seeing an order child not much younger than I was in a nappy and being absolutely fascinated by it.


For others who regressive littles, i.e not permanently baby for you remember the first time you felt any abdl inclination?

 

[Dry247]

I was like 10 and a friend of mine was babysitting and she wanted to put the baby bonnet on me, I didn't let her , but I remember her trying

 

[KCA]

The only time I haven't wanted to be a baby is when I was a baby. Even at age 3, I was envious of younger kids, particularly because they wore nappies but also because of why they wore nappies.

 

[SoggyRunner]

It pretty much coincides with my earliest memories, and those start around the time my younger brother was born just after I turned 4. I was envious of his diapers and wanted to wear them again, too. I took diapers from his room and diapered myself, wetting and pooping in them before sneaking them into the diaper pail. I also remember having some potty training regression, probably trying to get some of the attention he had while being changed.

 

[ScruffyDL]

For me it was about 7 years old playing around the neighborhood, you know back when kids played outside!!. We had just moved across the country and we had many kids that all played all sorts of games. I was on the older side of the kids and one of the 3 year olds was still in diapers. I wanted to wear a diaper like he was. Just loved the idea of a heavy squishy diaper and probably something else inside.

Then at 8 years old, while on a long drive with the family, I had to pee. Told my dad many times and he just kept saying "we're almost there". Well, when we got "there", a home of the family we traveled with, I ran to bathroom and just could not hold it anymore and peed my pants right at the toilet. I hid this from everyone and went back to the car and just sat until the family went home. No one came to check on me or anything. My sister sat next to me in the car and didn't notice maybe because I covered myself with a pillow. We arrived home just before bedtime and I went directly to my room. That night my mom came to collected my cloths for the laundry and noticed my pants were heavy and wet. I pretended to be asleep so I could see through my squinted eyes. My father stepped into the doorway as my mom held my pants with two fingers and looked at my dad with discust. No words. No conversations. The next day was a normal day. I always knew my parents were not compassionate people and this event is so burned into my memory and I have learned it is the spark of my regression. I needed them to care and they didn't. Later in life my mom once said "I don't live for my childeren, they live for me".
After that, I tested the situation by purposely peeing in bed. I had seen an after-school special on bed-wetting and decided to emulate that. The story was not a good one as the mom would display the sheets outside for all to see as they dried. For me it was something I really enjoyed and expected some reaction albiet not as dramatic as the TV film. Again, no reaction from my mom. She must have noticed and just washed my sheets and ignored it. No discussion. After that I just hid my activities from my parents and sister. I would fabricate diapers from towels and garbage bags when alone at home which was pretty frequent even after we moved when I was 14.

I think these experiences are why I am not AB but very DL. I find comfort in using and wearing diapers. Must be a replacement for the lack of nurturing when I was young.

 

[Ali123]

I think my experience of this may be different.

When I was a child I was punished by being made to wear my sister’s knickers for a spanking. Lucy is two years younger than me.

One day, after I’d had my bottom smacked while wearing her knickers I begged to be allowed to at least cover myself up. I meant that I should be allowed to put a pair of shorts on, but my mother put me into one of Lucy’s dresses.

It wasn’t just that I was being made to wear girls’ clothes. It was that they were two years too young for me.

So that was my first experience of regression.

As it became a more regular punishment I was made to wear outfits the same as Lucy, and then even younger in style than she wore. It culminated in being put back into nappies.

As a coping mechanism I pretended not to mind, and then I pretended to enjoy being dressed like that.

And over time I did actually stay to enjoy it.

So ‘regression’ started at an early age for me. Although it was intensely humiliating to start with, I did grow to love it.

 

[BigKid25]

For me, it's always been about the diapers. I think there is some latent trauma around regressing because it was beaten into me by my brothers and dad that you had to be tough and grow up fast. Anything perceived as nice, sensitive, innocent, or childish was mocked and met with disgust. That's the downside to having 7 brothers all raised by a toxic masculine and misogynistic dad: we were toxic to each other.

That all being said, maybe I wanted to regress and was never allowed that? I know I was okay with wearing sleepover diapers at my grandmas house, but there was no arousal or anything, only comfort and sort of an, "it is what it is," attitude. However, as life progressed, I learned to publicly hate anything and everything childish or girly even while secretly wanting to enjoy my toys, imaginary play, and cartoon shows. I was broken.

Fast forward to me discovering ABDLism during puberty while simultaneously having an outlet for innocence through Scouting and I began a strange relationship with the idea of being innocent and vulnerable. It came to one of many heads when I was about 20 years old. I finally had some REAL thick adult diapers alongside a large teddy bear, adult pacifier, and baby blue onesie. I was so desperate to explore this side and force my regression. So there I was at 3 in the morning after a long night of preparing my things, and watching a combination of Where the Wild Things Are and Winnie the Pooh that I finally tasted what it was like to be totally regressed.

I still fantasize a bit about reliving a 90s childhood in diapers: matchbox cars and toy soldiers all lined up with a Friday night movie ('Homeward Bound' or 'All Dogs Go to Heaven' come to mind) and fresh pizza to go with a bit of soda over ice. Earlier in the day I would've been adventuring around on some hike or day at the park before coming home for a change and some coloring time. A nap might be in order before the afternoon/evening, and I could finish off the evening playing my super Nintendo, Nintendo 64, or ps1. Makes me want to cry thinking about it.

 

[LittleAndAlone]

For me, it's always been about the diapers. I think there is some latent trauma around regressing because it was beaten into me by my brothers and dad that you had to be tough and grow up fast. Anything perceived as nice, sensitive, innocent, or childish was mocked and met with disgust. That's the downside to having 7 brothers all raised by a toxic masculine and misogynistic dad: we were toxic to each other.

That all being said, maybe I wanted to regress and was never allowed that? I know I was okay with wearing sleepover diapers at my grandmas house, but there was no arousal or anything, only comfort and sort of an, "it is what it is," attitude. However, as life progressed, I learned to publicly hate anything and everything childish or girly even while secretly wanting to enjoy my toys, imaginary play, and cartoon shows. I was broken.

Fast forward to me discovering ABDLism during puberty while simultaneously having an outlet for innocence through Scouting and I began a strange relationship with the idea of being innocent and vulnerable. It came to one of many heads when I was about 20 years old. I finally had some REAL thick adult diapers alongside a large teddy bear, adult pacifier, and baby blue onesie. I was so desperate to explore this side and force my regression. So there I was at 3 in the morning after a long night of preparing my things, and watching a combination of Where the Wild Things Are and Winnie the Pooh that I finally tasted what it was like to be totally regressed.

I still fantasize a bit about reliving a 90s childhood in diapers: matchbox cars and toy soldiers all lined up with a Friday night movie ('Homeward Bound' or 'All Dogs Go to Heaven' come to mind) and fresh pizza to go with a bit of soda over ice. Earlier in the day I would've been adventuring around on some hike or day at the park before coming home for a change and some coloring time. A nap might be in order before the afternoon/evening, and I could finish off the evening playing my super Nintendo, Nintendo 64, or ps1. Makes me want to cry thinking about it.

Male machisimo and testosterone ruins everything it touches.

 

[BigKid25]

Male machisimo and testosterone ruins everything it touches.

I personally wouldn't go that far... I love being a man and have found appreciation for my lessons and experiences as I've pursued my healing journey.

Masculinity isn't the problem. Toxic, unbalanced masculinity is.

I'm a teacher and the number of fatherless boys who glob onto me despite being super strict and tough on them (while also balancing that with being silly, sarcastic, and affectionate) is pretty demonstrative of a need to have a masculine outlet that feels healthy. Scouting saved my life by giving me positive male role models to show what it means to be a responsible, respectful, caring man. But, still a man that's proud to be one.

I'd never give that up no matter the possibilities.

 

[LittleAndAlone]

Almost all masculinity portrayed and worshipped in our society today is toxic and unbalanced. Machisimo and bravado are not being a man, thats just being an insecure b****.

Sorry to go off tangent, your experience just really pissed me off. I see that kind of thing everywhere. So much pressure on little boys to be a man in such a hurry by acting tough and asserting dominance on everything like a territorial gorilla.

 

[BBBen]

The other side is toxic feminity i had experienced. But that an other thread.
There is so much in childhood and young adult time, we get traumas.

i thing my first regression thoughts came while i was around ten. We done a handmade stuffie in school at this time. It let me feel relaxed, while cuddling with him. And there was the whole time the urge to wear a diaper. Never fullfilled at this time.

 

[ScruffyDL]

I personally wouldn't go that far... I love being a man and have found appreciation for my lessons and experiences as I've pursued my healing journey.

Masculinity isn't the problem. Toxic, unbalanced masculinity is.

I'm a teacher and the number of fatherless boys who glob onto me despite being super strict and tough on them (while also balancing that with being silly, sarcastic, and affectionate) is pretty demonstrative of a need to have a masculine outlet that feels healthy. Scouting saved my life by giving me positive male role models to show what it means to be a responsible, respectful, caring man. But, still a man that's proud to be one.

I'd never give that up no matter the possibilities.

Thank you for your perspective and your role as a teacher! I feel I too had good role models, both at school and some in scouting that helped me too. Was not pushing my son to go into scouting and in 1st grade he asked me if he could join scouts. I certainly was really surprised and happy he wanted to try something. I don't think he got the same from his scouting experience and at 24 he is struggling a little with life in general still living at home. I have been there for him.

 

[BobaFettish]

At about 4.5 years, I got diapered by a baby sitter after a messy accident at her place without any clothes to wear. My father was locked up, and I was at the sitter's often. When I bawled as she diapered me, she started talking to me like a 2 year old. For the first time I wasn't afraid the police would keep my father for ever.

Not long after that, I found my old car seat. I pulled my pants off. I grew up during white disposable diapers, but if I blurred my eyes a bit my underwear looked like a diaper. It made sense at the time. I sat in the car seat, reminded me of being in it for car rides, I was "playing baby" by myself. I did wet myself, and found my mother. She threatened me with diapers, but cleaned me up and put me in clean underwear.

I know I didn't have the emotional intelligence at the time, but I learned I while I was 4 almost 5 years old, I could be two years old when I wanted to be.

 

[Yody]

when i was 4 (in 1998) i had a pair of pullups i had hidden in my bottom dresser drawer. When i was alone i used to put them on and feel so incredibly happy, then have to hide them back immediately. This continued until one day they were gone from the drawer and i was absolutely devastated :c

 

[Prillprillprill]

I didn't expect the replies to this to be so dark. Just when I've forgotten that age regression is a symptom of trauma and think it's just a quirky hobby, then I'm like 'Ah yeh ...'. that old chestnut.

Ah but you've gotta find the joy in the darkness you really do.

 

[DiaperedJoey]

It was over a year of abuse under my belt, and a new baby half brother being doted on, I was in bed scared of punishment, I was hugging my teddy bear teddy sucking my thumb, wishing I could be a baby again. Started becoming interested in being diapered shortly after.

Joey

 

[arctic]

Male machisimo and testosterone ruins everything it touches.

Why do you think that?

 

[davelittle1]

There are so many posts here that I can relate to in part. I started liking diapers around five when my brother was born. Like SoggyRunner recounted above I was envious of my brother's diapers and the attention he was getting. I think after having my mother's undivided attention up to then it was hard to adjust to the change. So I never really regressed, I just wanted to stay little and go back to having my mother's undivided attention

If there was a point I remember regressing it was after I was sent to public school, an English boarding school that is actually a private school. I was 13 and very upset about going there. I took some diapers with me that I was sure I could hide. They were my version of a security blanket, something to reduce my anxiety.

In time they were discovered and I had a very embarrassing meeting with the housemaster. Known for being strict he was surprisingly understanding and supportive. I might even describe him as being motherly towards me and it changed my life. Happily married now I look back on that time with, strange to say, a certain fondness.

 

[oreobaby89]

This is hard because looking back I think it was always there but also surpassed a lot. I am the youngest of six and I always felt I needed got grow up and be more mature like my brothers. I had a fascination with diapers growing up and would be fixated on any shows that involved the characters being in diapers or regressing back to them. I liked kids show and never really stopped liking them. I was around 9 or 10 when I really starting having fantasies about a guy not being allowed to grow up and have to wear diapers. It was shortly after that I started to make make-shift diapers. I remember when I was home alone once, I was about 12, I made this make-shift diaper put in Barney and sucked my thumb. That was defiantly one of first real little times. Before that I would go around pretend I was being treated like a toddler.

 

[Bhurry1]

when i was 4 (in 1998) i had a pair of pullups i had hidden in my bottom dresser drawer. When i was alone i used to put them on and feel so incredibly happy, then have to hide them back immediately. This continued until one day they were gone from the drawer and i was absolutely devastated :c

I experienced something very similar. It ruined everything lol