If you know, you know: Suspecting a co-worker is 'one of us'

[LilCutiepie1999]

Hiii

So, as the title of my post suggests, I suspect my line manager to be, somehow part of the ABDL community, but not sure if I should ever bring it up. Wandering if anyone else has ever had any similar experiences.

For the record, he has one of those ABU lanyards with his keys and work id attached and various 'cute' things scattered around his office (stuffed bunny on windowsill springs to mind).

Trying to overcome my urdge to ask lol

 

[SparkyDog]

Don't ask
respect their privacy
at best you're wrong or worst HR gets involved

 

[RojasPuraVida]

Don't ask
respect their privacy
at best you're wrong or worst HR gets involved

What he said 100%

Your job is worth more in the long term than satisfying your curiosity.

 

[lilcamper]

If it was one of my coworkers I've been talking about ridiculous stuff with for years, I'd totally ask. I probably have a lax environment relative to other jobs, though. I'd love to tell my best friends :/. This, however, is not advice!! He's openly wearing it which is kind of makes you knowing on him.

 

[Mehrabad98]

If you're 100% sure it's an Abu lanyard, you can mention something like "oh hey I have one of those lanyards", or you can wear a peekabu cap to work one day and make sure your manager sees it. DO NOT bring it up directly.

 

[Diaperedred93]

Get the same lanyard and do your best to make sure they see it. I really doubt any normies would own any Abuniverse merch. I agree with everyone else with not directly bringing it up.

 

[Belarin]

Yeah I'd do like the above two posts if it was me and get/wear something else from ABU like a cap, not flaunting it around but just casually to see if he notices.

It could well be that he knows someone who is a little and doesn't realise it and they gave him the lanyard as a gift.

Bringing it up directly may at all may be a bad idea but asking him about it directly would demonstrate a lack of discretion whereas wearing an ABU cap or putting some stickers around your desk/on your bag etc. Would show that you've noticed and are able to keep it quite which as a manager he would probably appreciate a lot more if he decides to drop into the topic.

 

[MrDiaperLoverUK]

I agree with 2 comments on here don’t ask it directly

 

[Deleted member 80397]

Hiii

So, as the title of my post suggests, I suspect my line manager to be, somehow part of the ABDL community, but not sure if I should ever bring it up. Wandering if anyone else has ever had any similar experiences.

For the record, he has one of those ABU lanyards with his keys and work id attached and various 'cute' things scattered around his office (stuffed bunny on windowsill springs to mind).

Trying to overcome my urdge to ask lol

I would normally not speak up on this, but wearing ABU is a BIG BIG BIG BIG deal when wearing their merch. You should wear a lanyard as well, as many littles are nervous about speaking to it directly in public! I love the idea of the bunny on the window in the office, I should do that in mine! - Wear a shirt one day or if it is not appropriate for work, maybe a band or something, or ask the story of what is the bunnys name! Watch their reaction if they close up or they go on the defensive, and always be respectful to whatever they react.

Do they jump up and get excited, or do they change topic? Would love to hear what happens next! (Perhaps come in with an ABU husky hat and watch the fun unravel!

 

[Mingus]

Hiii

So, as the title of my post suggests, I suspect my line manager to be, somehow part of the ABDL community, but not sure if I should ever bring it up. Wandering if anyone else has ever had any similar experiences.

For the record, he has one of those ABU lanyards with his keys and work id attached and various 'cute' things scattered around his office (stuffed bunny on windowsill springs to mind).

Trying to overcome my urdge to ask lol

I would not bring it up while you work there. I would be mortified if I met my direct report at a munch or found out he was an ABDL. I’m his boss. I do his appraisals, performance manage him, provide input on his salary and bonus. Knowing he is into the same fetish could massively muddy waters. I’m not mates with him - friendly of course, mates no - and what each of us gets up to in bed is totally irrelevant. If you get too close it could lead to a perception of favouritism.

Maybe your office is super open and casual (depends what you do) but it is just not a conversation you should usually be having with your boss. Wait till one of you is leaving.

I actually question the professionalism of someone pitching up at work with ABU merch - again depends on office environment and culture, but it’s not just a shared interest you discuss over coffee in the kitchen.

 

[87dervaTheExplora]

Hiii

So, as the title of my post suggests, I suspect my line manager to be, somehow part of the ABDL community, but not sure if I should ever bring it up. Wandering if anyone else has ever had any similar experiences.

For the record, he has one of those ABU lanyards with his keys and work id attached and various 'cute' things scattered around his office (stuffed bunny on windowsill springs to mind).

Trying to overcome my urdge to ask lol

I see the lanyard as a "I want to talk about ABU". An invitation if you will

 

[Mingus]

I see the lanyard as a "I want to talk about ABU". An invitation if you will

Possibly - but your boss should not be extending that invitation to his team

 

[SparkyDog]

Possibly - but your boss should not be extending that invitation to his team

i can't echo this enough
don't discuss non work things at work
you arnt saying hey nice weather or hey I've been to Disney world too
you're bringing up something deeply personal & private at work with a superior
don't do it
You're risking your employment

 

[Mingus]

i can't echo this enough
don't discuss non work things at work
you arnt saying hey nice weather or hey I've been to Disney world too
you're bringing up something deeply personal & private at work with a superior
don't do it
You're risking your employment

I was really good mates with my old boss (not remotely enough to bring up this). He’s still a good friend. And our friendship helped my career. But it also was not idea from an office perspective and it’s made me quite cautious about my dynamic with my direct and my boss. You need some gravitas and a degree of distance. You can’t have that while comparing notes in your favourite pacifier.

 

[mistykitty]

I like what everyone has said so far especially about if you do ask I wouldn't ask directly it's not a workplace discussion to have. Like those of us that may wear those items it might just be a way to express it discreetly around normies. Also, if they received it from someone else unknowing of what it meant they might be confused if you approach them. I'm going to echo others, your job is important thing here but if you want to try to figure it out do it discreetly and maybe try your own type of discreet hint to them first.

 

[BenNevis]

Whilst I don't know the ins and outs of the situation, as a general rule, I'd keep anything this personal (and with so much room for misunderstanding) entirely separate from work. Thinking about what I'd do if I were in the OPs position, I would just ignore it. Say you were right and they were ABDL, the workplace is most certainly not the place for ABDL stuff. The fact they're your boss too just complicates the dynamic so much and makes it very uncomfortable, not to mention incredibly unprofessional. Say you were wrong, the consequences would be even worse. As others have already mentioned, HR may get involved or you may jeopardise your future progression and employment.

I'm wondering though, what is it that's driving you to ask? If it's a desire to chat to other ABDLs, there are better and far more appropriate places for it (e.g. ADISC). If it's just plain old curiousity, the workplace is just not the right place.

 

[guest]

Someone Dared open their mount at work about diapers of myself and sort not that i worn any to work , Lets just say HR got hold of it and they were fired and was told they were already beeing reviewed at the time for something of similar nature, one other hinted at knowing of it but knew better to keep his mouth shut

 

[Cottontail]

I've shared this a few times: For almost 20 years I worked for a large tech company with about 100,000 employees. Not long after joining ADISC, another member messaged me and asked, "So... Do you work at (name of company) too?" "Yes" was the answer. I'd described my job in a forum post and my location was on my profile. It probably wasn't hard to guess. Well, over a relatively short period of time this snowballed, and pretty soon there were about a dozen of us having monthly munches at work. Wise? Well, no. Probably not. Fun? Definitely! Several of us, including myself, had stuffies in our offices. It was the type of work environment where you could wear Sesame Street clothing and nobody would care. I didn't, but others did.

I think one of the reasons this worked and didn't become more awkward is that we were all in different divisions and different buildings. I don't think any of us had a vice president in common. It sounds like the OP is talking about her boss, or else somebody who holds some authority over her. That's a pretty different situation, and it's easy to imagine things getting tense. I'd probably leave him alone, although I can absolutely understand wanting to know.

 

[mistykitty]

I've shared this a few times: For almost 20 years I worked for a large tech company with about 100,000 employees. Not long after joining ADISC, another member messaged me and asked, "So... Do you work at (name of company) too?" "Yes" was the answer. I'd described my job in a forum post and my location was on my profile. It probably wasn't hard to guess. Well, over a relatively short period of time this snowballed, and pretty soon there were about a dozen of us having monthly munches at work. Wise? Well, no. Probably not. Fun? Definitely! Several of us, including myself, had stuffies in our offices. It was the type of work environment where you could wear Sesame Street clothing and nobody would care. I didn't, but others did.

I think one of the reasons this worked and didn't become more awkward is that we were all in different divisions and different buildings. I don't think any of us had a vice president in common. It sounds like the OP is talking about her boss, or else somebody who holds some authority over her. That's a pretty different situation, and it's easy to imagine things getting tense. I'd probably leave him alone, although I can absolutely understand wanting to know.

Looking at it from that perspective I think you are right. Since you didn't share a common leader and all worked in different departments it probably made things simpler. Since this is a shared leader it's not such a good idea.

 

[Mingus]

Looking at it from that perspective I think you are right. Since you didn't share a common leader and all worked in different departments it probably made things simpler. Since this is a shared leader it's not such a good idea.

This is OP’s boss - not just a teammate with the same boss. Makes it even less wise