Do you wear an obvious diaper in public?

[SparkyDog]

My family and close friends are more worried about people being able to detect that I'm wearing a diaper than I am.

Really? Why would it bother them? Small town?

 

[Eclectic]

Do you wear a fairly thick diaper during the day (because you're a heavy wetter)? Have you ever been commented on it? Or do you simply don't care?

Depends on your definition of “obvious.” I do wear a fairly thick diaper during the day and even thicker at night. It took me a long time to get to that point as I used to wear thinner diapers. Of course, diapers are much better these days. And, I wear baggy pants and shorts most of the time and shirts that cover my waistline. I am also a fairly thin muscular guy. No one has ever said anything.

On the flip side, people have commented on my inability to hold it ever since I was in grade school. Even later, I have heard work colleagues tell me “You should be wearing a diaper.” Of course those were specific situations when I wasn’t. Most of the time, I was and I don’t think anyone noticed.

 

[greatlake5]

definition of “obvious.”

I would consider your diaper as "easily preceived or understood, clear, self-evident or apparent." And of course I'm talking about wearing out in public.

 

[slimjiminy]

who patts the bum of a grown adult?

A 3-year old!

Once, when I was leaving a fast food joint to go to a sporting event (4+ hours so I needed a diaper), I unexpectedly had this little girl hit me with her two little fists in my butt! When I turned to smile at her, she was speechless. I don't know if she thought I was a grandpa/uncle or she was wondering about what felt like a diaper. So I just smiled at the father coming to rescue her, left my tray at the door and exited before the potential conversation that might have followed!

 

[PadPhilosopher]

A 3-year old!

Once, when I was leaving a fast food joint to go to a sporting event (4+ hours so I needed a diaper), I unexpectedly had this little girl hit me with her two little fists in my butt! When I turned to smile at her, she was speechless. I don't know if she thought I was a grandpa/uncle or she was wondering about what felt like a diaper. So I just smiled at the father coming to rescue her, left my tray at the door and exited before the potential conversation that might have followed!

I remember that story. You've told it before. Horrifyingly adorable.

 

[littledreamers333]

yes I do

 

[Eclectic]

I would consider your diaper as "easily preceived or understood, clear, self-evident or apparent." And of course I'm talking about wearing out in public.

That’s what I thought. I don’t think my diaper is any of that to most people. To me sometimes, yes, to the general public, no. But, as I said, I’ve never been one to wear tight clothes.

 

[PadPhilosopher]

That’s what I thought. I don’t think my diaper is any of that to most people. To me sometimes, yes, to the general public, no. But, as I said, I’ve never been one to wear tight clothes.

Likewise. So much of whether or not a diaper is obvious is not the diaper, but what's over it. @CptKirk mentioned an instance when he went to get in his friend's new truck. His friend, who knew him for 40 years and knew he was incontinent, asked him why he wasn't wearing any protection. He was wearing a MegaMax. Dress for it, and you can hide a lot.

 

[Dinotopian2002]

I don’t go out of the way to show my diaper off - especially not publicly or when I’m working. With a mix of loose fitting clothes (jeans that are a size up) and plain onesies this makes the bulk less obvious.

But at the same time, I prefer absorbency over discretion - when you’re a wheelchair user, changing yourself isn’t easy. And I’m comfortable enough with my diaper needs that I’ll go without a onesie in the summer.

What helped me was to start treating my diaper like regular underwear - instead of a dirty secret, I don’t go around showing it off, but if the waistband shows a bit, it’s acceptable. Similarly, if people see one of my spare diapers when I’m getting stuff out of my bag, I’m not embarrassed as it’s clean.

I’m also pretty open about telling people that I need them for medical reasons - however bulky a diaper is, it’s more discreet than an accident - or a leaking one.

I appreciate this may be too obvious for some people, but for me, this helps reduce the stigma. And let’s be real, no disability aid is more obvious than a wheelchair - nothing I can do to hide that. Better to embrace it and appreciate how it can make my life easier.

Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
Dinotopian2002

 

[Wetshisbed]

I wear nappies all the time and usually have padded in co pants and plastic pants over them. If people notice I am in nappies no one has ever commented.

 

[Subtlerustle]

No I keep my diapers discrete under jeans and shirt that goes below the belt line. I generally only wear with my wife present or non social situations like shopping. She has my back so to speak if it’s visible like recently when I bent over to pick something up when we were walking our dog.
Honestly I don’t think it’s a big deal as long as it’s visible only from a bonafide or plausible incontinence perspective. If it’s visible in a AB perspective it crosses the line into non consent imo.

 

[mattyd]

Haven’t seen any mentions of wearing a body suit/onesie. I couldn’t imagine wearing especially at work without one. I know they are a little awkward, but especially a thin one that’s a tank top or one that doubles as a normal shirt like a polo keeps bending down incidents covered. I usually wear an extra size or two blue jeans to help cover the bulk.

 

[EcoIncon]

I've been wearing cloth more and more outside the house for financial and ecological reasons. To be prepared to tackle any leak, it's pretty thick. I know there's a bulge there but I really don't think anyone would look and say "diaper"... No one ever has. I'm certainly not going to show off my diaper... I don't want people to notice it. But I guess if someone notices I don't really care and I don't know if that has happened.

In a professional setting, I always wear the most discrete protection I can. If I am having a long meeting/workshop that means a thick diaper. I plan my wardrobe for that and wear a looser suit and larger jacket to make sure my butt is covered in every way.

 

[greatlake5]

To be prepared to tackle any leak, it's pretty thick. I know there's a bulge there but I really don't think anyone would look and say "diaper"... No one ever has. I'm certainly not going to show off my diaper... I don't want people to notice it. I don't really care and I don't know if that has happened.

Trying to limit leaks usually means I have to wear an added booster. Not everyday unless I know I'll be unable to change. Do people notice? I suppose some do but most adults respect others. I've only had a few comments (beside school when I was younger) and I'm pretty good at ignoring that.

I remember once when I was grocery shopping. I had a leak that I was unaware. A little kid said something to it's mother who actually giggled and finally started laughing loudly. I was mortified. Once I settled down I looked at her, gave her a shrug and winked at her. It shut her down. Of course we have insensitive people. That's life. Inconsiderate and thoughtless individuals have their own problem. Not mine.

Needless to say, IC people don't like to be noticed. Do I care? Yes, I do. I prefer a lower profile. The very few comments I've had, nothing really changed my life. But certainly, if I'm wearing a thicker diaper, I try to prevent the look of "obvious."

 

[Wetshisbed]

Trying to limit leaks usually means I have to wear an added booster. Not everyday unless I know I'll be unable to change. Do people notice? I suppose some do but most adults respect others. I've only had a few comments (beside school when I was younger) and I'm pretty good at ignoring that.

I remember once when I was grocery shopping. I had a leak that I was unaware. A little kid said something to it's mother who actually giggled and finally started laughing loudly. I was mortified. Once I settled down I looked at her, gave her a shrug and winked at her. It shut her down. Of course we have insensitive people. That's life. Inconsiderate and thoughtless individuals have their own problem. Not mine.

Needless to say, IC people don't like to be noticed. Do I care? Yes, I do. I prefer a lower profile. The very few comments I've had, nothing really changed my life. But certainly, if I'm wearing a thicker diaper, I try to prevent the look of "obvious."

A bulky nappy and plastic pants are far less obvious than wet pants.

 

[HalMidLife]

I wear my Incontrol Bedrys quite often in public, and in my mind, they aren’t very visibly noticeable. I pretty much live in Under Armour pants, which are just loose enough in the bum that they don’t showcase the shape of a diaper. It’s more a look of having a shapely butt than a diaper butt.

On the other hand, there is the noise, and there’s no question they are noticeable in any type of quiet context. In a shopping mall it’s no issue at all. I’m sure I could walk around all day and perhaps one person might notice if they’re trying to look for something. But at an appointment for just about anything (dentist is a great example), you pretty much have to be accept and be confident that it will be noticed. And that’s pretty well where I’m at: if someone notices, I dont’ really care, but I also don’t try to advertise.

 

[Edgewater]

One of the truly wonderful things about being married to my dear wife is that she loves to shop! Over these many years, I have never had to be concerned regarding where my pants are to tight or a bad color choice as before I even thought about needing something, she has already obtained it!

Add to it, I am color blind and I get checked before I even get to the door!

Color coordinated and fashionable, plus sized to vast limit any indications of wearing a diaper!

 

[Pino]

I wear Attends Active 10 as a basic product, it could be seen through pants, but it was never commented.

For "Carneval" i wore a Betterdry, but it leaked and i had a grey pants on, so really a visible problem. When i turned around to go home i caught the view of an older lady and for sure she knew.

I do wear Betterdy or ABDL diapers when taking longer car trips, when getting out of the car my diaper is usually heavy and visible, but was never commented as far as i know. For that i do not care much, there is no alternative for me.

 

[jimj64811]

I avoid drawing attention to my diapers and thus don't wear clothes that show them off. While my family and doctors know, my friends don't. Strangers don't need to know.

 

[PTSDSurvivor413]

Who pats the bum of a child? Better be a mom....

I’ve seen it done a lot, both male and female. It’s a sports thing or that is where I see it. I played golf the other day. Had a cloth backed thick diaper on. It was wet already since on the 7th hole, but I made an eagle on a par 5 and my friend got excited and slapped my bum….she knew I was wearing but still lol, getting bum patted when wet vs dry are very different.

She is like family so we laughed it off. But while walking to the next hole she did ask “I can help make a little nook with our bags, golf towels and my body and you can slip a new brief on.”

All worked out

Find a onesie, those work great for discretion and help with a sag monster