Lack Of?

diaperedteenager · 3 Weeks Ago

Well, you all know I have never had a relationship in my life, nor have I even come close to having one. Could that be possibly damaging to me in the long run? Like say I don't go on my first date until I am 33, is that potentially harmful? I can't remember who it was, but he had a list of the stages of adolescence/teenage dating, it might have been Freud.

So, my main question is this... Not having a relationship when I am "predicted" to have one, is that harmful to me in the long run?

Lukie · 3 Weeks Ago

I think if you find yourself naturally attracted to and in love with someone, then that infatuation overrides any lack of experience. Conversation is natural when you're sincerely 'into' another person, I find, generally because you have a lot in common.

NeiNei · 3 Weeks Ago

It could lead to social awkwardness if you don't get a date for, say, 5 years. However, since you would be fully developed, you'll probably connect on a deeper level that sex and sex alone. So, hey, don't worry about it. You're probably just driven for the right person to come around. Fate works in weird ways.

Me :p · 3 Weeks Ago

I'm only a year younger than you, and I've only had one relationship, which I wouldn't even count as real.... It was like "hey, want to go out with me?"-her (don't taze me) and I was like "okay" then we didn't really talk until we decided 8th grade wasn't old enough for a real relationship. (she was also one of my best friends before, and after....)

Don't worry about it, college should hopefully turn around.

h3g3l · 3 Weeks Ago

Quote:

Originally Posted by diaperedteenager

Well, you all know I have never had a relationship in my life, nor have I even come close to having one. Could that be possibly damaging to me in the long run? Like say I don't go on my first date until I am 33, is that potentially harmful? I can't remember who it was, but he had a list of the stages of adolescence/teenage dating, it might have been Freud.

So, my main question is this... Not having a relationship when I am "predicted" to have one, is that harmful to me in the long run?

I think you've got this backwards. You've come into it damaged, and this in turn sends an "anti-girl" vibe out.

I think that you and your actions are more harmful to you in the long run than dating or not dating.

You're looking at symptoms; I am pointing to an underlying root cause. If you take care of the cause, the symptoms will go away.

pajamakitten53 · 3 Weeks Ago

Quote:

Originally Posted by diaperedteenager

Well, you all know I have never had a relationship in my life, nor have I even come close to having one. Could that be possibly damaging to me in the long run? Like say I don't go on my first date until I am 33, is that potentially harmful? I can't remember who it was, but he had a list of the stages of adolescence/teenage dating, it might have been Freud.

So, my main question is this... Not having a relationship when I am "predicted" to have one, is that harmful to me in the long run?

I'm the same, but I stay optimistic you just haven't found the right person yet but don't worry you will. It just takes some longer than others.

babymick21 · 3 Weeks Ago

Quote:

Originally Posted by pajamakitten53

I'm the same, but I stay optimistic you just haven't found the right person yet but don't worry you will. It just takes some longer than others.

I don't like this advice at all. It's not the girls' fault...it's his own and he needs to take responsibility for it. There's clearly something going on with his personality that is making having even normal friendships (let alone dating relationships) difficult. He needs to deal with this: go talk to a psychologist/therapist. It's not merely that 'he hasn't found the right girl...don't worry, you don't need to change anything...just be patient'. Not changing anything will potentially reinforce what he's doing wrong. Then, because this will frustrate his attempts in the future, he'll put further pressure on himself as he gets older causing a positive feedback loop and making things progressively worse.

Chillhouse · 3 Weeks Ago

Some people die alone. It's up to you to decide if you want to be one of those people. Harsh, but true.

avalon · 3 Weeks Ago

maybe you're just busted

mattjones4 · 3 Weeks Ago

You are young enough that you should not be worrying about such things. Just take it at your own pace and have fun with it when you are ready.

I am quite a bit older, very socially awkward, and have only had one short term relationship. You can't worry about dieing alone, otherwise you will just mope around all your life, and nobody will want to hang out with you. There will always be people around you, just because you do not have a relationship does not mean you have to 'die alone.'

3 Weeks Ago	#1 (permalink)
diaperedteenager Regular Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: That Place, USA Age: 17 Posts: 986 Threads: 298 Blog Entries: 14 Reputation: 1	Lack Of? Well, you all know I have never had a relationship in my life, nor have I even come close to having one. Could that be possibly damaging to me in the long run? Like say I don't go on my first date until I am 33, is that potentially harmful? I can't remember who it was, but he had a list of the stages of adolescence/teenage dating, it might have been Freud. So, my main question is this... Not having a relationship when I am "predicted" to have one, is that harmful to me in the long run?

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3 Weeks Ago	#2 (permalink)
Lukie Relax, it's [day]! Donor Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 3,426 Threads: 46 Gallery Uploads: 2 Wiki Edits: 162 Reputation: 134	I think if you find yourself naturally attracted to and in love with someone, then that infatuation overrides any lack of experience. Conversation is natural when you're sincerely 'into' another person, I find, generally because you have a lot in common.

3 Weeks Ago	#3 (permalink)
NeiNei Sparky's Mommy Pup <3 Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Florida, USA Posts: 412 Threads: 6 Gallery Uploads: 2 Wiki Edits: 2 Blog Entries: 14 Reputation: 15	It could lead to social awkwardness if you don't get a date for, say, 5 years. However, since you would be fully developed, you'll probably connect on a deeper level that sex and sex alone. So, hey, don't worry about it. You're probably just driven for the right person to come around. Fate works in weird ways.

3 Weeks Ago	#4 (permalink)
Me :p Hardware failure... cry Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Mamaroneck, NY Age: 16 Posts: 1,469 Threads: 15 Gallery Uploads: 7 Wiki Edits: 1 Blog Entries: 5 Reputation: 20	I'm only a year younger than you, and I've only had one relationship, which I wouldn't even count as real.... It was like "hey, want to go out with me?"-her (don't taze me) and I was like "okay" then we didn't really talk until we decided 8th grade wasn't old enough for a real relationship. (she was also one of my best friends before, and after....) Don't worry about it, college should hopefully turn around.

3 Weeks Ago	#8 (permalink)
Chillhouse العالم العربي والاسلامى Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: gta Age: 18 Posts: 2,121 Threads: 122 Blog Entries: 54 Reputation: 88	Some people die alone. It's up to you to decide if you want to be one of those people. Harsh, but true.

3 Weeks Ago	#9 (permalink)
avalon Regular Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: tallahassee Age: 17 Posts: 65 Threads: 2 Reputation: 0	maybe you're just busted

3 Weeks Ago	#10 (permalink)
mattjones4 Regular Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: PA Posts: 54 Threads: 3 Reputation: 0	You are young enough that you should not be worrying about such things. Just take it at your own pace and have fun with it when you are ready. I am quite a bit older, very socially awkward, and have only had one short term relationship. You can't worry about dieing alone, otherwise you will just mope around all your life, and nobody will want to hang out with you. There will always be people around you, just because you do not have a relationship does not mean you have to 'die alone.'