Recent content by onecho

Love is simply a chemical reaction evolved from the need to propagate the species, eventually morphing into a dried-out husk, kept afloat through legal fine print and Hallmark cards.

I miss looking forward to waking up. I miss enjoying the moment. I miss feeling protected. I miss being happy. I just miss being.

My parents know, but they’d be the last people I’d probably ever be little around. My mom and I have, at best, a pleasant acquaintanceship. I’ve always searched for the momma my heart and mind needs. I’ve succeeded off and on. Just wish I could find one that wants something long-term.

Bipolar, high anxiety, and depression over here. I’m lots of fun at parties.

I did have one when I lived in an littlefur cubhouse. I cherished sleeping in it every night. It is probably the thing I miss the most. The safety, the security, the coziness...wonderful beyond my dreams Someday, soon, when I have my own place again, I’m getting another. It’s really the very...

I voted 'estate', though I'm not sure I understand the concept as an American. Do you mean a shared residence, maybe a home for a 'family' of ABs? If so, then that is certainly for me.

I remember being seven and a friend, who was I think a year younger, pinned me in a 'cloth diaper' to play house. It made me feel so content and relaxed, even at that age. There's a lot of ther emotional deficiencies that it tied into, which I continue to realize: the need to seek out nurturing...

It's a weird feeling when one of my oldest friends, who will soon be a new dad and who knows about my AB side, sends me a link to their baby registry. It's that uncomfortable "did he think about me and my knowledge of these items when sending the list, and will my gifts be over analyzed?"

Some progress: told my estranged wife I’m moving into my own place early summer. It will freaking hurt, because she still means the world to me. The bandage, though, needs to be ripped off. We both need to start new chapters.

I don’t understand the thought process that wanting to be alone is a sign of depression. I’ve never been more depressed than when I’m in a relationship and always have to stay attuned to their needs, mood, and so on. It’s freaking exhausting and kills the wonder I want to see in the world.

I’m not in a great mood and haven’t been for weeks. The depression is slowly starting to take things over again. My life is a high-mileage car being driven with the emergency brake on.

I’m starting to believe that the only form of unconditional love is between a parent and their child. I don’t think it can exist between adults; there’s always an “...or else we’re through” clause. Maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be; after all, the law sees marriage as simply a binding...