after chatting with a friend last night it dawned on me i am slowly regressing i want to for ever live out the 1st 12 years of my life with out as much disability related operations/medical situations
when i was in school from year 9 I can't tell you any thing Pacific of what happened I've blocked it out all I remember is feeling shitty pining for guys attention 3 of which i still remember vividly but will not mention them out of respect i wanted to be with them not all at once.
the love between me and timmy my teddy who you see in the profile photo that is the only love that is never gonna be damaged.
unlike the love between grown ups they make relationships so hard
i never want timmy to leave my side but i am afraid to have him on me when my mum and dad are in even tho my mum likes my teddy's i just don't feel i can hug him in front of my mum and dad am i being silly or not
i want to take him to the LGBT (lesbian gay bisexual trans)
I recently watched a program on channel 4 (UK) called in the best possible taste with Grayson Perry he's an artist that has won the turner prize any way i digress.
This program was all about him exploring why we make the choices in taste we have, one example is men who do up there cars in the way of putting the best sound system in them and turbo charge the cars that sort of thing,
and well this got me thinking why do express these adult baby feeling in the way i do all
its amazing how they make you feel my favorite one to snuggle with at the moment is my Lotso bear from toy story 3 he's soft and smells of strawberries
when i am shy i hide my face with a teddy when im sad i hold him tight when i am happy i show him off but thats all on line via skype or face book.
its bizarre i can bring my self to be around my family in my sleep suit and laugh off any comments made about how silly i look in it but i cant bring my self to let my family see
i think this is very selfish of me but i think after trying to please every 1 for so long and trying to prove im an equal i feel i deserve this
i want to be a full time adult baby ideally be any were from 2 to 5 years old
i want to move in with some one
i don't want a boy friend as this life style i crave is non sexual
i want to be that age in public to and not have to worry about if my wheelchair is gonna last me or any other adult