Another intake at the office. My fellow intake workers are out with the flu, which leaves me to deal with the masses on my lonesome. I've heard a lot of peculiar things... but what follows has got to be the single most awesome thing I've ever heard. A man hobbles in with an uneven gait and sits down. I peruse his file. Second-degree assault. I go through the first few pages of the application, and then I go for the statement..
Rance: "Mr. Jones*, now that we've gotten
Another day, another series of criminal intakes. This one involves a woman (who I realize is quite a few bricks short of a load (no pun intended)) telling me why the Disorderly Conduct charge placed upon her is false.
I read over the charging documents, which contain a statement from the plantiff. 'Miss Doe* frequently stands on our porch past midnight, shouting obscenities, screaming about her missing dog, cussing out nothing in particular.'
So I interview her
It was the weekend, and I stood outside of our local Ruby Tuesday, smoking a cigarette well away from the door. In Maryland, the indoor smoking ban eliminated all smoking sections from any indoor bar, restaurant, or diner, requiring that those who smoke go outside. I had no problem adhering. I lit my cigarette, and the door opened. A middle-aged blonde-haired woman with seven -- count them, seven -- young daughters of ascending ages trotting like little ducklings behind her. She passes by me,
We're doing office intakes. People alleged to have committed crimes -- but were not incarcerated -- have up until 10 days prior to their trial to request the representation of a public defender. My office mate and I are the first line of defense. I'm halfway through an interview when a client decides to become a clown.
Rance: Alright, sir, now that I've got all of your identifying information, I just need to write down your statement -- your words -- relaying what happened on
At Rance's household, a Superbowl party can never be too innocent. My team is the Redskins; my friend's team is the Ravens. The contest never dies, even when both teams are done and gone, with only thoughts of next year to carry them forward...
Rance: Alright, Kev, so give me your prediction for today: Patriots or New York Giants?
Kevin: Well... (scratching at an invisible spot on his Raven's jersey.)
Rance: Come on, dude, spit it out. I don't
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