This year I've gotten the very best gift already and I gave it to myself. This year I finally got acceptance.
I've been ABDL my whole life but would only admit to the DL part and even that filled me with shame and an ever-present fear of being discovered. I knew I wasn't alone but I didn't want to admit I was like the others. But facts are facts and this year I decided it was time to deal with these awkward feelings and face that demon head on. That's why I joined ADISC in April.
I get to pondering a lot as I have an overactive brain. And I amaze myself at the sudden insight into things from my past that make sense in the present. I make connections I never made and come to realizations that close long-standing issues from the past. Living as an ABDL has its mental and emotional challenges and I get comfort when I put things into perspective.
My past is littered with people who have either left a positive impact, a neutral impact, or a negative impact on me.
This doesn't exactly fit in under the stories section and it's not written in the typical way but there is something about it that I thought this community might like. I used to write a lot of (mainly) horror stories. My stories are all very, very different and this one is hard to categorize. Think of it like a Twilight Zone episode. A dark fairy tale. A PG rated one. It's a dark story but it has a strange sort of happiness to it. It doesn't feature any ABDL stuff. I wrote this a couple of years
For a long time now, battling my BPD, that sense of feeling lost, feeling unwanted, unneeded, and generally feeling confused as to who or what I am has been a big part of my daily struggle. I remember explaining it to my wife as a story involving puzzle pieces.
In a jigsaw puzzle, each piece is unique yet still fairly similar to the other pieces. If I think of myself as a puzzle piece, where do I fit in? I've struggled for years to find the inherit value and talents in myself but
This is going to feel so cathartic. I feel a ray of hope for the first time since I can't remember when. First of all because of the acceptance I've found in this online community and words of encouragement to get me to rethink my old thought patterns.
I live with Borderline Personality Disorder and Avoidant Personality Disorder. It is so bad I cannot even work. On top of it I'm ABDL, a fact that is probably partly to blame for the other disorders. But I'm not throwing us under the
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