well I got abused again today, not going into detail, but lets say I got reminded of how stupid and retarded I am, and how much of a problem I am.
I just want to die, fuck this shit, I don't deserve this abuse.
Even had flash backs, to past abuse, fuck this is terrible.
I feel crap, I just want this pain to end.
I just want to disappear, don't care what happens to me at this time.
I'm not sure if White Polypropylene Rope would do the job, the rope I currently have won't do the job, it's too "thin", looks like i need something thick enough to snap my neck, I doubt an extension cord would do, tried tying a noose with that, but it's not working out, it's not flexible enough.
Fuck this, I'm not even gonna be able
honestly this debt is the driving factor in my suicidal thoughts, although i don't want to kill myself over something so stupid, it feels like that's my only option
my suicidal thoughts are getting worse by the day, it's gotten to the point that every second of every day, i feel like jumping infront of a train and ending it all for good.
at this point i don't care what happens to me, although I'm not hinting anything, something may happen by the end of this month, and