This text hit me like a jackhammer right to the face
(genders neutralized by me...)
The child’s identification with his or her mother’s wants as a survival strategy means that it must identify with the mother’s hatred and rejection of the child. This sets up an impossible internal psychological dynamic of self-hatred, self-denial, and self-abuse… the child internalises the perpetrator mother and becomes a perpetrator to himself, ignoring and belittling his own wants and desires,
Okay then, here are some recent news about me:Hello, BenTennyson!
We've noticed that you've not been active on ADISC.org (http://www.adisc.org) for quite some time now, and we miss you!
Here's what you're miss(...)
I'm physically Ok and this was NOT intentional.
I will miss you my dear blue friend
I know I couldn't live without nappies for several reasons. First the medical need won't go away just because you are sick of them.
Second: I know deep inside that I also need them for emotional reasons. But I AM currently sick of everything, including this.
Maybe its just a side-effect of my current episode of depression, maybe something else completely. I just wanna run away and hide in a cave for a year. See nobody, hear nobody, feel nobody.
Maybe even more than just running
Seriously I'm wasting way too much time on Lord of the rings Online. I need to get back doing things more constructive. Programming was big fun, however currently it might be of bigger interest for my well-being to do something more creative. My interest in drawing went as quick as it came, I think I should stick to the things I know. Have to get more involved in music.
Thinking about it, I seriously miss my old E-piano. I basically gifted it away although I paid 700 bucks on it back in the