Submissive. (Need Advice. >.<)

KageRose · 17-07-2008

Hello,
As some of you may know I am new to this forum.
Happy to be here really.
I have but one problem.
I'm a submissive.
The thing is, I am in a switch relationship and don't have the skills to be dominant when that time comes.
I want to be able to punish and yell.
To be strict.
But I don't know how.
Anyone have any suggestions.
I want to make him as happy as he does me, but I can't being this way...

~Kage.

Pojo · 17-07-2008

Is this a poem? How about writing in a paragraph...How about you just talk to him? I know it sounds completely crazy and out there...But it might just work

diaperedbabygirl · 17-07-2008

you should talk to him about it and try to figure something out. I'm in the same boat as ya because my bf is just submissive, and i have to be a domme to him, but he cant be a daddy to me. My suggestions if you want to be dominant, to just try your best, that's what I do. There is no wrong or right way to be dominant.

avery · 17-07-2008

i think you'll get better and better at it as time goes on. but pojo's right: it's going to take a lot of communication. tell him you're having trouble feeling comfortable in a dominant role. he'll be able to give you lots of advice about what you should be doing, and what he does and doesn't like. you can't improve without feedback.

ballucanb · 17-07-2008

I would ask him, in a setting outside your play, and just try and make his wishes come true.

Or mimic some of his routeens, and see if he enjoys them.

Koko · 17-07-2008

You do know being dominant has nothing to do with being strict, or yelling, right?

See if you can enjoy just controlling what he is allowed to do, if having him give up power to you feels good. You don't have to dress up in black leathers and wave a whip around to dominant a person.

Target · 17-07-2008

I think a talk with him will be very useful, don't be shy.

I'm sure the courage is inside you, you just need to find i out.
Search in your heart and you'll find it.

KageRose · 17-07-2008

I've already talked to him about it...
And he says I do just fine...
But...
Just fine isn't good enough...
I want to be good at it...
To be able to care for him like he does me...

**silent deadly alchemist** · 17-07-2008

well if your doing fine NOW then later youll be doing better, like you yourslef said your unfamilier with being dominating... give it time, youll improve, just dont expect miracles

oh and realizing its error 404 who your partner is.. well yeah youll do just fine and dandy

~giggles~
*huggles* dont give up

KageRose · 18-07-2008

I just want to be able to surprise him...
Be good at being what he does for me.
I just find it hard, you know.
I don't wanna give up, just getting to the point where I don't know if I can do it... ._.

(P.S alchemist, like the Battle Royal sig. : P )

17-07-2008	#1 (permalink)
KageRose Lurker Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Alberta, Canada Posts: 12 Threads: 2 Reputation: 2	Submissive. (Need Advice. >.<) Hello, As some of you may know I am new to this forum. Happy to be here really. I have but one problem. I'm a submissive. The thing is, I am in a switch relationship and don't have the skills to be dominant when that time comes. I want to be able to punish and yell. To be strict. But I don't know how. Anyone have any suggestions. I want to make him as happy as he does me, but I can't being this way... ~Kage.

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17-07-2008	#2 (permalink)
Pojo I rape your post count Historical Donor Staff Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cow-Land, VA Age: 18 Posts: 3,881 Threads: 62 Gallery Uploads: 6 Wiki Edits: 98 Blog Entries: 19	Is this a poem? How about writing in a paragraph...How about you just talk to him? I know it sounds completely crazy and out there...But it might just work

17-07-2008	#3 (permalink)
diaperedbabygirl Regular Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Mass, USA Age: 17 Posts: 320 Threads: 12 Gallery Uploads: 12 Reputation: 3	you should talk to him about it and try to figure something out. I'm in the same boat as ya because my bf is just submissive, and i have to be a domme to him, but he cant be a daddy to me. My suggestions if you want to be dominant, to just try your best, that's what I do. There is no wrong or right way to be dominant.

17-07-2008	#4 (permalink)
avery POV Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: seattle area Age: 26 Posts: 927 Threads: 11 Gallery Uploads: 4 Wiki Edits: 27 Blog Entries: 3	i think you'll get better and better at it as time goes on. but pojo's right: it's going to take a lot of communication. tell him you're having trouble feeling comfortable in a dominant role. he'll be able to give you lots of advice about what you should be doing, and what he does and doesn't like. you can't improve without feedback.

17-07-2008	#5 (permalink)
ballucanb Regular Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: none Posts: 1,224 Threads: 3	I would ask him, in a setting outside your play, and just try and make his wishes come true. Or mimic some of his routeens, and see if he enjoys them.

17-07-2008	#6 (permalink)
Koko VIP Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: . Posts: 111 Threads: 3	You do know being dominant has nothing to do with being strict, or yelling, right? See if you can enjoy just controlling what he is allowed to do, if having him give up power to you feels good. You don't have to dress up in black leathers and wave a whip around to dominant a person.

17-07-2008	#7 (permalink)
Target Deus ex Machina Historical Donor Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Italy Age: 20 Posts: 421 Threads: 45 Gallery Uploads: 25 Wiki Edits: 6 Blog Entries: 14	I think a talk with him will be very useful, don't be shy. I'm sure the courage is inside you, you just need to find i out. Search in your heart and you'll find it.

17-07-2008	#8 (permalink)
KageRose Lurker Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Alberta, Canada Posts: 12 Threads: 2 Reputation: 2	I've already talked to him about it... And he says I do just fine... But... Just fine isn't good enough... I want to be good at it... To be able to care for him like he does me...

17-07-2008	#9 (permalink)
silent deadly alchemist Regular Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Australia, NSW, sydney Age: 19 Posts: 642 Threads: 18 Gallery Uploads: 17 Reputation: 8	well if your doing fine NOW then later youll be doing better, like you yourslef said your unfamilier with being dominating... give it time, youll improve, just dont expect miracles oh and realizing its error 404 who your partner is.. well yeah youll do just fine and dandy ~giggles~ huggles dont give up

18-07-2008	#10 (permalink)
KageRose Lurker Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Alberta, Canada Posts: 12 Threads: 2 Reputation: 2	I just want to be able to surprise him... Be good at being what he does for me. I just find it hard, you know. I don't wanna give up, just getting to the point where I don't know if I can do it... ._. (P.S alchemist, like the Battle Royal sig. : P )