So I have a girlfriend named Wendy

[Incomplete Dude]

Yet that girlfriend is actually a very nice man named Carlos.

The reason for this? My family

They are very very anti-homosexuality, and they have begun to suspect me of associating and being corrupted by such "undesirables". I have received a long email from my mom lecturing me on the perils of being with the damned. The dangers of studying such evil topics as transsexualism. The risks of involving myself with the homosexual "cult". Moreover, I have often been warned about how devastated they will be if I was ever to fall into the "homosexual trap".

This is my response:

Mom, you worry too much. Obviously, I know that homosexuality is evil and that those who promote it will surely burn in Hell. I'm not an idiot. Of course, there is more to a person than just their sexuality, so sure I have a few gay friends. I mean, they will probably be damned to Hell, but that doesn't mean you can't have a good time with them in the mean time. They may change their ways. Certainly, I am careful not to let their corruption affect me. Plus, reading about all these websites on homosexuality or transsexualism, it's educational. You learn your enemy, and you come to understand why they are wrong and evil. Now, I don't want to sound like I hate them, that's for God to judge, I just know what they are doing is wrong. I'm not a fool, so you don't have to worry about me.

It is a great deception of course. I don't believe these statements at all. For example, I invented "Wendy" as a cover for seeing my boyfriend. And I believe that a great many of my gay friends are suddenly going to become straight. All this to protect those that cannot handle the truth. Those too weak to let go of the discriminatory ideologies they cling to as "the one great truth".

This is not permanent. The ruse need only last 2 more years, until I have completed my education and can find meaningful employment. It allows me to live in peace with my family, and afford my education. Plus, I don't want to be there to witness my mom's nervous breakdown or my father's rage when they finally hear the truth.

I intend to systematically deceive and manipulate my homophobic parents for my personal gain. And I feel no guilt over it, because it is they who have driven me to it. I've tried simply avoiding the topic. I've tried just saying that I have my own moral standards. Certainly, I am not so weak as to reject my boyfriend for my family's sake. I can see no other option here but lies... damn lies.

But at least I can say, now I know how those gay American politicians felt. lol

PS: This whole situation sickens me. The fact that it has come to this disgusts me. If anyone is corrupting me, it's my family, by reducing me to a con artist. I just want to smash something, sigh.

[NoobSauce]

I suggest you prepare for the day you move out. Rehearse when you're alone. You shouldn't blatantly state it, but move the topic towards homosexuality, or lies, or lies about homosexuality... Or even girlfriends, boobs, or anything else that can have you telling your mom you're gay and then walking away. Just bide your time, friend. Bide your time...

[Lukie]

What I find troubling about those devout religious types that they are bigoted, narrow-minded and simply not willing to accept anything outside of their sheltered ethical compass. It's like the blind leading the blind in that they all believe the same thing and together with a group mentality they combat any outside ideas or concepts. With no alternative point of view, they are left to defend the ideals of the sect and they do so viciously. If anything is a cult, it's these particular groups that go around preaching right from wrong, yet they can't even look past their blind faith to possibilities of differing lifestyles. They hardly seems to embrace the fact that everyone is unique and hold an array of varying beliefs.

If I were in your position, it wouldn't be so much as a personal decision as it would be a decision made to just keep them happy. Yes, it's deceptive, but who are they to judge? As far as I'd be concerned, they are so caught up in their own world of heaven and hell that they've lost touch with reality. If that fake email you wrote to your mother is anything to go by, if they think that's what "normal" should be, then I'm glad they aren't running the country. That type of sanctioned reality is demented and provides for some highly intolerant thought patterns.

In such a case as this, I'd be very supportive about any decision made in the way of deceiving them. I don't usually condone such actions, especially toward family, but they seem beyond the point of any rationale. Besides, you should live your life the way you see fit. Don't be swayed by the beliefs of others and take pride in yourself and your actions. If you feel what you are doing is right, then go for it!

[Kenshin Himura]

Well I have a boyfriend too, so if we are going to hell for loving the people we love then I hope to see you all there.

[Charlie F]

[Fun, but off topic fact:]
How great of you to name her (him) Wendy, which is a good name because "Wendy" is a made up word/name, just like your made up girlfriend. (The name was made up and given to Wendy Moira Angela Darling in the Peter Pan stories).

[On topic:]
Lie until your pants burn off!
It sounds like your family aren't going to change, and so for the sake of keeping everyone happy, I'd lie until you can get out of there. Clearly they'll have to find out some time though.
Make sure that you don't mess up the lies though... Write a little bio for Wendy and stick too it (make it similar to Wendy Darling for humour's sake ), don't give conflicting lies because that'll just end messily.
Although hopefully your family will just accept what they want to hear, so lying shouldn't be too hard I guess.

[Darkfinn]

I could post a huge spiel about this. But I'll go with a quote from The Waterboy.

"What momma don't know... won't hurt her."

I think that pretty much sums up my philosophy. Let your parents think you are living one life while you secretly live another. There is a lot to it... and you have to be very careful to keep your stories straight. I've been doing it for years. There are certain aspects of my life... sexuality aside... that my parents would never accept. So I just don't tell them... or I tell them something different.

[Samaki]

Im sorry. My family may annoy the hell out of me but they would never truly keep me away from my feelings. My mom just doesn't want me to be gay because she thinks I will be hurt.

What I really hate about homophobes is that we AREN"T hurting them yet they come at us, hurt us and sometimes worse. Like I told my friend when I came out to her, "I only came out to you now because I don't want you to be hurt later and maybe have our friendship ruined, I would've come out later but the less people who know the better, if some people knew i could be seriously hurt or worse, this one guy who was riding in a car with a couple of "FRIENDS" got stabbed beaten put on fired then dumped on the side of the street, you know why? He was gay." The sad thing about that was in court they said that they couldn't put them in jail because they had a good reason, he was gay and god told them gays were bad.

I can't believe anyone could even think of killing someone because they were gay, LET ALONE get away with it because god told them to kill them. It's freaking starting to become the new kkk down here, I'll move up north if I have to, in fact my dads work is thinking about opening up a factory up in North Carolina, I don't want to but maybe I could ask my dad to ask his boss to move up there, dunno how I could persuade him though -.-. I know that come college I'm going as far away as possible from central Florida up to North Florida where I heard it's not as bad, hopefully go to FSU maybe even UF.

For now don't tell them unless you don't want to be there anymore with them, which I don't recommend. Also i wouldn't recommend telling them until maybe after college, just in case.

[Ben]

Ehhh i don't see this working for very long. Your family will want to meet wendy if your meeting with her all the time and when you don't produce a girl they will get suspicious. Whether they'll think your gay or just making up a GF for other reasons i dunno, but there is no way this is gonna work for 2 years...

[Samaki]

Ben, that's when you say we just broke up, then any time you want to go out with your BF you just say, "Hey mom/dad I'm going to go out with some friends". It should work no problem, then think of all your friends who know your gay, if your mom asks to know who they are, tell her those, and then tell them that anytime your mom comes asking how it was the night before or something, just say it was fun.

[silent deadly alchemist]

i find t highly frustrating that they think like that, theres no LOGIC to it.. so yeah, normally im honest but they forfeted their right to, not quite your respect, in other aspects of life be respectful, bu this area, lie away...