Padded girl=Public Property?

[LinusBlueSnow]

No matter which way you put it, it's still disgusting. They're not necessarily appropriate questions to ask and I totally agree with LuvsGirl. I think it's gross and degrading to the rest of us males that are on this site, and actually see girls who share this same interest as human beings with feelings and emotions and as people, ReaL People! (unlike these pigs who are asking her these questions like she's some kind of callgirl). It's embarassing, deplorable and I see it as almost borderline harassment. In addition, it makes it virtually impossible to make friends with people who are females and who share this interest by making all guys (and anyone) with this fetish look bad.

Luvsgirl I really do feel sorry for you about this (and any person who has to put up with this). This kind of behavior these guys are exhibiting towards you is absolutely abhorrent and disgusting and is deplorable to both guys and girls.


Fortunately, at least Adisc ISN't as bad as some other sites out there (i don't know who these other people who are asking you this are, but they're obviously really shallow and don't know how to talk to or treat a girl, and they're a poor reflection of the ABDL community).

[Olivia]

LG I FEEL YA.

For me, ADISC has been the best for me as far as ABDL sites go, but that doesn't mean I haven't gotten my fair share of freaks from here. (I got most of them from RUPadded and DiaperSpace, which is why I don't go to those places anymore.)

But I definitely feel as though the straight (or bi, I suppose) guys in the ABDL community at large think that because diapergirls are their fantasy, they can treat them like sex toys rather than people.

I went on a date with this Daddy/DL. And it was absolutely horrible. He seemed awesome on the phone and on skype and stuff, but when we finally met, it was like he was never addressing me as a person, but me as a fantasy diapergirl. It was disgusting.

I don't think the guys that message girls asking if they are wet or messy or horny or what have you really understand that we are people. We are living, breathing human beings who have lives outside of diapers. ABDL is probably 5% of my life. The other 95% is spent doing other things that are within "social norms." I hang out with friends, I play water polo, I go to school... And I do all of these things without diapers.

It seems that some people just don't understand that. And it sucks.

</ollierant>

[talula]

Ok, here's my two-bits worth.

I think it mainly depends where you hang around, and what level of interest you take in the site. Obviously because of your shop, LG, you're fairly well-known by DL/ABs everywhere. Because they know of you, they're more likely to come on to you (you can't come on to someone you don't know!). On the other hand, no one really knows of me, outside Adisc, and therefore I don't get hit on (as much).

I've only had the problem your describing once or twice here on adisc, and a quick email sorted them out. On diaperspace however, whenever I log in I've been added as a friend by lots of 'LondonDaddyUK' or 'BigDaddy4U' s. And you just ignore them. They're hitting up every single other girl on the site - it's not like they're singling you out especially. If you just don't respond then they don't care, they won't follow it up - some other succker *will* have responded and they'll be going to town over that.

[LuvsGurl]

Originally Posted by Lukie

Darkfinn, stop hijacking your girlfriend's account.

First of all, I am very insulted by this! Why is it if I have stong feeling on somthing eveyone always turns and thinks it is DF. I know I am normaly miled mannered and the keeper of peace. But trust me I am IRish red through and through. I have my own mind and DF is only as part of it. So would everyone STOP saying I am Darkfinn!!!!!!!!!

Second my point was made by many people on here, it is not only girls that have to deal with this, and not only from guys. Yes we are the most common. But those that are Gay have to as well. And I have also had to feild my share to Females wanting to know the same things so they can get off to it as well.

My point is that not all of these people stop or start on sites like ADISC. I would love to just be able to change my screen name, or somthing but how else to I get my shop known. And why is it alway the victom that has to give up normal life? I have known a few girls that have only been active online, though the person has stalked them form more then one site or chat, and hundted them down in person. If a person is creepy enough you will not keep them away, not mater what photo you have, what you say or do.

I mean do you see my avatar as a comeon? you see my eyes, do I say anything in my profile that is a hint? I am already being as open about my relationship, and as unsexual as I can. Aside from stop being myself and lieing about who I am there is nothing else left.

As a fetish I know we are still Young. Though now that I have started talking with local fetishists I know more about BDSM(not that I am into it). But in their community they have a elder council of sorts. Those that have been there for a long time have not just created a social group but they are responsable for the safty of others. I went to an event because they had an Ageplay protion and 90% of every lectior was about the rules. If struck me that as a Community (not just a site, but the Whole AB/DL ageplay world) we do not have such rules.
These rules are much like real life, if you do not know somone pretind you are in a bar/public place. If you would not say it there, do not say it at all untill you KNOW the person.

And telling me or anyone else to ignore them let somone else deal with it is a copout again. It should not be ignored. If should be stoped before people start getting hurt. Why should there be some niave girl out there that is just coming into the community that will have to deal with it. Guess what if that is realy the first impression you want a AB/DL girl to get I can see why there are so many sickos. No one is here to protect those girls you do have, so new ones are chased off. leaving guys alone to get more and more agressive in their search. It is a horrible cycle. if you let it happen you loose girls, if you loose girls guys get more despreat, so they stalk more, so you loose more girls. I see no logic in ignoring it.

[Angusmac]

Originally Posted by LunaCat

Is this actually a serious question? Or are you just annoyed, because apparently, many males are disgusting pigs and anonymity removes the small amount of inhibition they had about it?

Do some men view women as property that needs to be in the kitchen cooking their meals for them while they are on the way home from work? Sure. I think that is plainly obvious. Some women see men as stupid gorillas that process information only through the lens of their libido and that men should be responsible for providing them the quality of life they feel they deserve while they justify their existence by looking pretty.

I cannot, however, believe one would seriously ask if the community as a whole shares such beliefs. :-/

I can believe someone would ask it when driven to ones wits end by it...but I can't believe anyone would actually consider it to apply to the entire community. I'm guessing it was more of a need to vent.

To answer the question, I've been in many online diaper related communities in my time, and there are always those guys that will endlessly harrass the few women in the community for information about their sexual or diaper usage habits. These guys tend to bring the community down as a whole by chasing away the few women who have valid information and experiences to share with the community. I'm sure there are girls out there that have questions and concerns about their AB/DLism which they would like to ask older women about. Saddly they may be chased off by HNGs. You are right to be annoyed and angry about it. Saddly I'm not sure what can be done to chase them away for good.

What I can say to the HNGs is... KNOCK IT OFF AND GROW UP!

-Gus

[Butterfly Mage]

I'm gay. I'm also a Wiccan, so we definately don't view women as property or sex objects.

Blessed be

[DHLA40S]

Originally Posted by LuvsGurl

See it is that kind of thinking, and statment that lets this happen. When the public says things like, it is bad, but there is nothing to do about it.

AKA we know there way to resolve it, but it takes too much work, to educate those around you.

How far does it have to go? Untill somone chases down another member here on a bus? or starts looking people up in person? Stalking is Stalking. And there is only an IP address between the victoms and the Violater.

Ok, you don't want sympathy? Fine. Don't rant.

You bemoan the actions of the fringe elements of a group, and blame the whole group for those transgressions, because there's a lack of counter-action? Do you want the true gentlemen here to gather up, and go on a crusade against the fringes? Perhaps I'm over generalizing, or not understanding your path of logic when you said...

we know there way to resolve it, but it takes too much work, to educate those around you.

I don't see where there's viable way to do that. It's hard to influence a guy that's thinking with the wrong head by trying to tell them they're being tactless, and crude. They don't see the point. They don't understand the collateral damage done to those like you. All that matters to them is getting closer to that forbidden fruit. The only way our govt's. know how to stop this flaw in human nature is by incarceration, or strict probation. You report them, they get banned, they get a new username and creep up on you again...We can't exactly get together a Lynch-mob to go out and root these fellows out of our small society.

You want these instances of cyber-admirer intrusion to be reported to the admins. by the populace of each forum? Then do so. We can't follow around those guys that follow you around. On the web, or in real life.

Please, we don't like what's happening to you either, but don't hold it against every guy on the board that you are being harassed. Please don't put the blame for inaction on outside parties to your grievances. We each do well to police ourselves, and would love to help if we could. It's difficult to find a way to help with such a thing. I have no answers.

[r0bino]

I don't really understand your argument.

Ok, the perverts in our community suck, but I don't buy your argument about anybody being in "danger" because "we" don't do anything.
First, who in their right mind would even try to get to know somebody IMing them to ask about the state of his/her diaper? The only things that can get you into a dangerous situation when somebody IMs you out of the blue are your own actions. It is probably a bad idea to meet them and it is probably a bad idea to post identifying details on the internet about yourself where they can read them (or to tell them directly), but even most 14-year-olds know this nowadays, so is this really something we should be afraid of? (*identifying details: for example a real name, and probably face pictures with image recognition becoming better every day + huge image databases like flickr & co)

Second, it's probably not nice to get strange IMs, I can relate to that. But the people who don't get these kinds of IMs can't flag down people who send them, for obvious reasons. We can only rely on our community (I mean adisc.org in this case) to make it clear to new users that this behaviour is not tolerated and that it should be reported to the moderators. And we probably have to rely on well-established members like you to report them, too, because every one you sort out won't be able to do it to a newbie. On another note, sites like diaperspace were created for people to contact each other or to do blind dates, so it might not be too clear to everybody that people who are members there dislike talking about the state of their diaper (and maybe it's even the purpose of the site if the moderators there don't discourage people from doing it?). It's probably just the wrong site to hang out or to publicly display your gender/informations (but more on that later)

Third, being in a relationship doesn't automatically mean that you aren't interested in fetish-talk. Even though I think it's pretty crazy to have an open relationship or to find other couples via an online forum to have a sex-party, it is a common thing to do nowadays, and there are many communities (outside of the diaper community) that are mainly used for this despite not really being meant for it. I find it disrespectful of somebody to contact me for this reason, too, especially if there's no indication that I am/we are searching for something like that, but without making that clear they will just send a message to see where it gets them. I don't see a problem in blocking such people, btw.

To finish this up I just want to say that if I were you I'd probably stay away from sites where the main course of communication works through IMing each other. Public chat rooms/forums (with a solid user base and moderators) where open discussions or mindless ramblings are going on are probably the best way to find somebody with the same hobbies without having to block too many weirdos. A chatroom is something you have to commit time to, but at least the regulars will go there to talk and not to find girls that are into diapers, and to find friends you can just initiate a private conversation after a few weeks if you think that somebody might be interesting to talk to. Actually, actively going around and looking for people that might be interesting could be a good way to not stumble upon perverts on those web 2.0 sites, too. A public profile with your gender, a picture, or certain on-topic informations will probably only get you more perverts, though

[LuvsGurl]

ok, I want to say I am sorry if I came off too strongly at first. I repeat AGAIN I do not think every guy out there is a preditor. I know most are good people and would do what they can to be considerate. All I am saying is that when a person is online at any point on anysite and a girl tells them off for this reason it dose no good. Why? because we are no people. If we were they would not do this. It takes a number of Guys that are of the right mind to stand up and say knock it off you are making us look bad, and only making if less likely for you to get what you want.
I do want a lynch mob, kicking people off is of no use. But if a bunch of people they would see as human would get togeather and contact them and EDUCATE them on the right way to talk to the Oppisate/Wanted sex/person. the Problem would be more undercontrole. It also would make more females comfertable with the community as a whole. Because as we all know one bad apple make the barrol stink.
I just see very few people that have done this is the past. Once again. I am not attacking anyone. Am mearly pointing out an opritunity to advance AB/DLism as a whole.

[DHLA40S]

I'm sorry, but you can't get there from here.

It's not a logical path to expect that when you're chatted to, PM'ed, or emailed by a perverse intruder that the good natured folk will instantly, and automatically rise up to counsel the perpetrator into being more considerate, and thoughtful of the feelings of those they offend by their contact.

At best, we can try to counsel the perverts proactively, but like I said, it's hard to talk some sense into a guy that's not accustomed to thinking with the proper head, and certainly not when they can hide behind the anonymity of the interweb while offending.