What does asexual mean to you?

[Raccoon]

1. You have no libido nor romantic attraction towards people
2. You have no sexual or romantic interest in people; you still have a libido and non-human turnons


I am a bit confused over asexuality, and what it means to the different people who go by that one label.

I used to think it was a matter of no libido; others say it's no attraction to either sex. I gather there are many variations under "asexual." Would you care to explain>?

[Neonite]

I consider myself asexual, in that I'm not interested at all in actual sex and stuff with either gender at all. It's honestly a bit gross to me. I still 'like' diapers and such though, so I do have a libido. However, I'm a hopeless romantic too, and constantly daydream about some kind of great romantic partner that I could have a perfect emotional relationship with; so, I don't know where I'd fit in those definitions.

Basically, to me, the word just means what you'd think it does - not liking sex.

[Lukie]

An umbrella term for people who don't know if they're in the rain or not.

[DLGrif]

It can be used in different contexts. When considering sexuality, asexual will mean you (a) have no sexual interest in either or any sex or (b) you have no significant sexual interests at all. When considering partners, asexual means you are not interested in either sex. I've always advocated considering deep issues without using convenient placeholder terms like "bisexual" or "asexual" or "pansexual" or whatever. You examine your feelings, and come up with whatever combination of labels is convenient later to help you discuss yourself.

For example, I describe myself as chemically bisexual, though I only pursue women as life partners.

[link]

I'm not attracted to anyone and I don't want to have sex. I just don't see anyone as hot. Also, I can't tell the difference between an ugly person and an attractive one. Sometimes with my friends one will say "Hot girl three O'Clock" and they will have to point her out to me because I have no idea who they're talking about.

[BluTack]

Well, I like girls but dont want romance. I have had sex but just didn't like it. I think I want to try it again to confirm it.

I'm one of those people that needs to try things again to find out.
So to me I see asexual as not liking love and/or sex.

[PuerAeternus]

Originally Posted by Neonite

I consider myself asexual, in that I'm not interested at all in actual sex and stuff with either gender at all. It's honestly a bit gross to me. I still 'like' diapers and such though, so I do have a libido. However, I'm a hopeless romantic too, and constantly daydream about some kind of great romantic partner that I could have a perfect emotional relationship with; so, I don't know where I'd fit in those definitions.

Basically, to me, the word just means what you'd think it does - not liking sex.

I couldn't have said it a better way. It's the exactly the same feelings for me.

Sex sounds gross to me! I'm not sexually attracted to people (either gender) but I have had sometimes a crush on some people (mostly boys but sometimes girls too) but never had any girl/boy friend. Well there is this one time one of my friends told me she was in love with me, so I said to myself, let's try dating her, go over you fear,... I've split with her after only a week, as everytime she touched me (lap,...) I felt like being raped, maybe it was because I wasn't in love with her, even if I liked her a lot as we were getting along really well, she is smart, cute, caring,... almost perfect! I don't even feel comfortable when being changed that I have experienced a few times, it was kind of too "sexualized" for me.

Now, grewing older I feel really alone and I realize that it's probably all about mental block or something. Sex is a normal part of life and it shouldn't gross me out like this. It's like I have a way too romantic idea of what life is. Is it due to my uber sensitivity? I guess so.

My hope is to find the right person and with that one everything will go on naturally, hopefully.

[spddan]

Originally Posted by link

Sometimes with my friends one will say "Hot girl three O'Clock" and they will have to point her out to me because I have no idea who they're talking about.

I'm with Link on this one. I'm rarely attracted or even interested in anyone in a sexual way. I don't really too many people horribly attractive. I mean, I consider myself straight because I have always dreamed of/wanted a woman as a life partner, I'm just not 'flaming straight (if that makes sense, lol)' in that I'm not really ever talking about 'that hot chick over there.' I might comment on a person's looks, but it's usually just to seem normal to everyone else I'm around.

I believe true asexuality to be more of a mixed bag between people who are either never turned on by anyone and those who have an extremely severe fetish (yes, according to many sources there are 5 levels of fetishists). The reason asexuality is difficult to define in humans? Well, read any biology book, and we are clearly not defined as asexual beings. Therefore, the term, when applied to us, can't really mean the same as it does elsewhere in nature (unless you've found a way to naturally impregnate yourself - that would be quite the discovery!).

[NutFreeFruitcake]

A good general description:

General FAQ | Asexual Visibility and Education Network


Raccoon's hunch that asexuality has many different variations is correct. Asexuality is a bit of a catch-all term for anybody who isn't sexually attracted to other people. Within that umbrella, you can get:

-People who have no sexual or romantic attractions whatsoever.
-People who have sexual attractions to things other than people (asexual fetishists like presumably most of the asexual DLs on this site).
-People who experience romantic attraction but not sexual attraction (they want a relationship but either have no interest in or are outright turned off by the idea of sex). Such people can be classified as heteromantic, homoromantic, biromantic, panromantic, etc. based on whom they are romantically attracted.

You can also get several categories that don't quite fit the definition, but which can reasonably identify as asexual.

-People with very low, but some sex drive.
-People who have romantic attractions, and ultimately desire sex based on purely on the romantic relationship rather than primary sexual characteristics (they are turned on purely by the relationship/personality rather than traits like boob size that normally make people "hot").




In my personal case, I'm an asexual fetishist. People of neither sex turn me on, but I'm on ADISC because I've got a sexual attraction to diapers.

[Dreamaker]

In my case, asexual means not interested in sex. I do think some people are cute (mostly guys) however. If someone points out someone who is "hot" or asks me what actor I think is hot, Im completely stumped. I just don't recognise the signs there.

It also doesn't mean I have no sexual feelings, it just means I have none towards people. Mostly they are towards my DL or water sports side.

Anyway, that's how asexuality applies to me.