Mature AB/DL topic: 24/7

[anonymous kiba]

just really want to ask this question, sorry if it was already said. Are you wanting to completely use the diapers in public (as in crapping your self)?

[Kif]

Originally Posted by anonymous kiba

just really want to ask this question, sorry if it was already said. Are you wanting to completely use the diapers in public (as in crapping your self)?

Honestly, no.

However, I do not mind doing so in private.

[Peachy]

Originally Posted by Kif

I suppose, shamefully, that this may have been a binge cycle--and I apologize for being so extreme.

No need for apologies really. You're doing what you think is best for you, so just stand up for your choice and only apologize if you really hurt someone/damage something, like leaking on someone's chair. You have actually thought about your choice and seem to have a reason for it, rather than being one of the extreme ABs who go around in their AB stuff and flashing their diaper to everyone.

Originally Posted by Kif

My parents disapprove of wearing diapers—especially using them—and do not want to see any of it. However, they told me that I could make my own decisions—as an adult—and if I wanted to wear diapers, they would be fine with it as long as I did not use them.

In a sense you got what you wanted - your parents aknowledge that you can make your own decisions now. On the other hand you're still where you were years ago: Your parents don't want you to use your diapers while you're around them, and you said you'd go back to underwear when you're with them.
Guess you've already made that leap into adulthood where you realize that, while you may have the freedom of choice, you still have to adhere to certain social standards and respect other people's preferences. Or in your own words:

Originally Posted by Kif

Now, I understand better what I can do to respect them—and what has changed is that I do not feel controlled in such a way that I MUST obey their wishes. Now, I can choose and be aware of what that choice implies.

Still, I do wonder (as kiba) if the using part is what you were looking for all along, because your parents have prevented you from using the diapers for all those years. Maybe that's the rebellious part, although you agree that you won't use your diapers around your parents, so it's kinda like an indoors rebellion with plastic swords But then, responsibility in this case means only using your diapers in private or around people who don't mind and/or approve.

Peachy

[dogpiss]

I wear all the time due to urinary and "enjoy" it in the sense that I don't have to worry about control, discomfort or gushing when I wear (as opposed to the few minutes I don't I feel like I could use a vice clamp to help me stop the flowing!). It gives me a great deal of comfort like a "house shirt" or comfortable old pajamas or shoes that may not look the greatest but you love them because they are sooooo comfortable. So I guess I enjoy it like that... like an old familiar pair of shoes that will (almost) never let me down and is just very comfortable because I don't have to worry about my 'feet' hurting.

[Kif]

Things have been changing quite a bit, actually.

Recently, I've decreased my diaper usage.

I've also found a girlfriend.

And I've been relaxing more.



However, several things have triggered strongly disturbing memories from my childhood that I had nearly forgotten. I cried myself to sleep, last night, and I spent most of today in a strange depression.

But it is all connected together...these traumas, my infantilism, my relationships...

And this time, I am going to arrange to see a trauma specialist--rather than a psychotherapist.

I've spent my life only managing all of this (frankly, it has felt like swimming in an ocean), and the time has come for me to release the emotional pains that have caused me so much trouble. I intend for it all come to a close, this time.

Wish me luck.

[Lil Snap]

Originally Posted by Kif

However, several things have triggered strongly disturbing memories from my childhood that I had nearly forgotten. I cried myself to sleep, last night, and I spent most of today in a strange depression.

But it is all connected together...these traumas, my infantilism, my relationships...

And this time, I am going to arrange to see a trauma specialist--rather than a psychotherapist.

I've spent my life only managing all of this (frankly, it has felt like swimming in an ocean), and the time has come for me to release the emotional pains that have caused me so much trouble. I intend for it all come to a close, this time.

Wish me luck.

Those revisited memories, and properly dealing with the emotional trauma caused by the events, are instrumental in moving forward with your life. Congratulations for recognizing the situation and taking the steps to go forward, rather than swimming in circles.

I have been where you are, and it's no fun. Dredging up the past and feeling old pain is hard and draining, but releasing it is better for you than keeping it contained. I know you will have a much better outlook on life and yourself when you get to the other side of this experience.