Can't stand others bitching about how bad their life is? - Page 8

NoahKokoro · 08-07-2009

I don't mean to keep this thread going or the continuing complaints against others complaining, but it seems to me that while people are complaining about others complaining they're sprinkling in their own complaints about their lives. Most seem to be doing this as a comparision, but they're just themselves complaining about their lives and at the same time complaining about those that do that. It's true that people that continuously complain can get annoying and frustrate many people, but if they do it on occasion and do it to vent (whether they're seeking advice or not), isn't that better than bottling it up and having it fester within them? I believe venting is probably alot healthier than bottling it up or doing drunks or drinking to try and satisfy their anger (sorry if this offends anyone). Any of those could either hurt their bodies or cause them to lash out at others and maybe even hurt them. True, that a whole thread shouldn't be started just to vent or complain unless they are honestly asking for advice. If they aren't trying to get advice and just want to vent, then it'd probably be better to vent to a friend or relative, whether in real life or online, and afterwards thank them for listening and apoligize if you snapped at them or said something that might hurt them. That's my opinion on the matter and please don't read this as if I was using an angry tone or something. Once again, sorry if I offended anyone.

WildThing121675 · 08-07-2009

Actually, you make a valid point there.

I don't bottle things up or stuff but I don't believe that the internet is a good place to vent sometimes because it can make certain people angry or attract the wrong kind of attention. For me, it aggravates me a bit because I don't know the person in person.

Just another cent to add on to my thoughts.

WildThing121675

Darkfinn · 08-07-2009

Everyone's got problems, especially in the current economic situation... and whining about it won't solve a damn thing.

If you want to ask for help or advice that is just fine... but otherwise suck it up and deal, that's what the rest of us are doing.

kevindhca · 08-07-2009

Everytime I feel like complaining, I think about the story I saw on TV about a severly disabled man.
His doctors said he would never walk and would spend his whole life in a wheelchair.
He refused to believe this, and got himself some metal crutches.
Now he walks four miles from his house to town and back every day. It takes him over four hours to make the journey, one way.
I wish I could remember exactly on what program I saw the story, oh well.
If a guy who can barely walk with crutches, can drag himself 8 miles on his own every day, with no complaints, then I really cannot think of anything that I could justify complaining about.
There are always people in a worse situation than you, think about it.

teddy564339 · 08-07-2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by WildThing121675

I don't bottle things up or stuff but I don't believe that the internet is a good place to vent sometimes because it can make certain people angry or attract the wrong kind of attention. For me, it aggravates me a bit because I don't know the person in person.

WildThing121675

I haven't been keeping up with this thread and I haven't gone back to look at the past seven pages but....

I think this is an extremely good point. I've found out that when I have to vent and just let out my frustrations, it's not always so much what I say as it is who I'm saying it too.

The best is when you vent to someone who's going through the exact same thing. That way you know you won't get on someone else's nerves because you just keep on bouncing it back and forth with each other. You vent, then it reminds them of something and they vent. And it feels great and you cleanse yourself and you move on.

But when you vent about something that the other person can't relate to...it makes them start thinking about their own problems and you get into a secret mental war of both people thinking "my problems are worse than yours". And a lot of times it would be impossible to tell who has the bigger problem... but the point is that both people feel like they do. And what's so horrible about that is that it BUILDS tension instead of relieving it, which to me is the whole point of venting.

Mako · 08-07-2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShippoFox

Sometimes you just can't help it. Sometimes "trying" isn't trying hard enough. It can be really hard to make friends if you're not outgoing and/or very shy/anxious.

Fault of the individual.

Quote:

Does that mean you're not trying? No, but people will say that.

Because they aren't. People choose the people they are.

Quote:

Some people just naturally have it less easy than others. And it does eventually get to a depressing point that feels hopeless.

Lifes not equal, expecting it to be is expecting too much.

Quote:

Then you end up doing "nothing" because you just don't know what to do or you're completely just not confident about the options.

Fault of the individual.

Quote:

Other people are stuck with situations they just can't do anything about (sick family members, deaths in the family, extreme bullying, etc.)

The first two are temporary. It doesn't apply to long standing depression. Inaction against bullying is the fault of the individual.

Making the situations more difficult then they have to be. I hate to say it, but those who are bullied. Whether they know it or not, are usually making themselves targets in some way.

Sitting around pissing and whining doesn't solve or alleviate any of these problems. I'm not stating people can't or shouldn't ever be sad. But the kind of emo crap that's all too common these days is ridiculous.

dogboy · 08-07-2009

I suppose if everyone could travel forward in time and see their end, they would truly have something to complain about. I imagine most of us would be stuck in some bed, gasping for those last little bits of oxygen, watching the one world we know slowly dim and go blank. Now there's something to complain about.

When I first joined ADISC, about a year and a half ago, it was a good site to seek help, and it seemed like we had a number of members who did just that. Some of these problems were big. There are times in our lives when for one reason or another, life come crashing in. I've been there, so have all of you I would imagine. I've lost best friends, girlfriends, etc. and at the time, the problem seemed unresolvable. For me, I would go to my room and drift into massive depression. In fact, when I was 12 and moved away from my best friend, I had a psychotic break. This was before PC's, and I only had my mom and dad who were part of the problem, not the solution.

I hope as a community, we will be sympathetic to the needs of each other. At the same time, we all have a responsibility to sift and sort the serious problems from the trite. We've seen big problems with our members, some who have had life changing surgeries, some who have genuine conditions be it Ausbergers, bi-polar or depression. We have some who have very genuine disconnects from socialization with others. These are real problems with no easy solutions. They do exist and should not be taken as off handed.

We all have those episodic intervals called an emotional break. It's not surprising that late at night, someone on a computer lost in their own thoughts, feels a sense of desperation, a sense of no return where life cannot get better. We've seen the extreme results of such feelings. I think we should take seriously the occasional bitching and read between the lines, especially if that person needs someone to just care about them, for that short amount of time in the middle of the night when the rest of the house is dark and lonely. Who among us hasn't at one time or another, been there.

Fire2box · 08-07-2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by isaactheman

i agree when people cry about dumbass problems like a friend moved away, or u lost ur boyfriend/girlfriend. So wat? when i complain i got REAL problems...my family is so jacked up i dont think a lot of the people that whine should be doing wat they are doing. like u said, get up and do something about it? well wat am i supposed to do about a family member with a mental disabillty, a criminal sibling, a dead father, and a broken down mom? ya i have no right to complain huh? =/

Someone ALWAYS has it worse then you.

dogboy · 08-07-2009

That reminds me of an Arlo Guthrie song, "The Last Man". In the song, there is a man who has it so bad, that he doesn't even have a street to lie down in, so a truck can run him over.

As for disfunctional families, all you can do is wait it out, wait until you are old enough to move out. As some of you know, we adopted what is now our oldest son when he was 12. He is my wife's nephew. He came from a horribly disfunctional family, his absentee father being my wife's brother. We were moving from Ohio, his lifetime home, to Virginia. Imagine the courage it took for a 12 year old boy to leave his mother and aunt, his school and all of his friends to start his life over 500 miles away.

When he became a father, I never saw a better dad. He would drop over at the house with baby in car seat, headed out to Walmart or wherever. He always amazes me. He is head principal for one of our middle schools, giving proof that you can rise above welfare poverty and change your situation. I like to think that my wife and I had some hand in his achievements, but he is a most remarkable person.

ShippoFox · 09-07-2009

Mako... I will admit that I am not an expert, but human psychology does not work that way completely. You're not absolutely wrong, but you're greatly exaggerating. The mind is split into conscious and subconscious. You can't always just do anything. The subconscious feelings/thoughts can make doing certain things extremely taxing to some people. Also, people's minds work in different ways. Some people are very outgoing and some are not. Some people do nothing but work and some people do nothing but try to have fun. Some people like racecars and other people like flowers. A simple way to show that everyone is not the same.

Yes, "emo crap" is definitely common, but that doesn't mean we live in a world of unicorns and rainbows. Yes, some people need to shut up about their problems if that's all they talk about. It doesn't mean the problems will go away though, and it doesn't mean they should bottle it all up inside. We can't just make our own reality. Other people do things that affect us. We can't just use magical powers to make everything the way we want it to be. We can't control other people's minds to make everything near perfect.

You think people who are being bullied make themselves targets? You might be right to some small extent, but there's only so much you can do to stop it. And once again, it is sometimes due to uncontrollable factors (being short, having freckles, poor family, or some other such thing)

I'm sorry that I'm probably taking this all a bit personally. I'm not happy about a lot of things in my life (and I don't know what to do about it), but it could be much worse. I don't whine about my problems constantly, that can be boring and sometimes make things feel worse, but it's good to talk about life's problems to a moderate extent.

There are two lessons everyone can learn here...
1. Don't complain about your life too much, but do talk about your problems sometimes.
2. Be nice because someday you may need someone to talk to as well.

08-07-2009	#74 (permalink)
kevindhca VIP Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Surrey, Canada Age: 42 Posts: 407 Threads: 13 Gallery Uploads: 2 Wiki Edits: 9 Reputation: 21	Everytime I feel like complaining, I think about the story I saw on TV about a severly disabled man. His doctors said he would never walk and would spend his whole life in a wheelchair. He refused to believe this, and got himself some metal crutches. Now he walks four miles from his house to town and back every day. It takes him over four hours to make the journey, one way. I wish I could remember exactly on what program I saw the story, oh well. If a guy who can barely walk with crutches, can drag himself 8 miles on his own every day, with no complaints, then I really cannot think of anything that I could justify complaining about. There are always people in a worse situation than you, think about it. Last edited by kevindhca; 08-07-2009 at 04:03 PM. Reason: wow, blue VIP, a little glitch?

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08-07-2009	#71 (permalink)
NoahKokoro Regular Join Date: May 2009 Location: Texas, USA Age: 16 Posts: 305 Threads: 5 Reputation: 6	I don't mean to keep this thread going or the continuing complaints against others complaining, but it seems to me that while people are complaining about others complaining they're sprinkling in their own complaints about their lives. Most seem to be doing this as a comparision, but they're just themselves complaining about their lives and at the same time complaining about those that do that. It's true that people that continuously complain can get annoying and frustrate many people, but if they do it on occasion and do it to vent (whether they're seeking advice or not), isn't that better than bottling it up and having it fester within them? I believe venting is probably alot healthier than bottling it up or doing drunks or drinking to try and satisfy their anger (sorry if this offends anyone). Any of those could either hurt their bodies or cause them to lash out at others and maybe even hurt them. True, that a whole thread shouldn't be started just to vent or complain unless they are honestly asking for advice. If they aren't trying to get advice and just want to vent, then it'd probably be better to vent to a friend or relative, whether in real life or online, and afterwards thank them for listening and apoligize if you snapped at them or said something that might hurt them. That's my opinion on the matter and please don't read this as if I was using an angry tone or something. Once again, sorry if I offended anyone.

08-07-2009	#72 (permalink)
WildThing121675 VIP Join Date: May 2008 Location: Kent, Ohio GO BUCKEYES!!!! Age: 33 Posts: 465 Threads: 61 Reputation: 14	Actually, you make a valid point there. I don't bottle things up or stuff but I don't believe that the internet is a good place to vent sometimes because it can make certain people angry or attract the wrong kind of attention. For me, it aggravates me a bit because I don't know the person in person. Just another cent to add on to my thoughts. WildThing121675

08-07-2009	#73 (permalink)
Darkfinn Banned Donor Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Charlotte, NC Age: 25 Posts: 3,978 Threads: 84 Gallery Uploads: 18 Wiki Edits: 4 Blog Entries: 17 Reputation: 105	Everyone's got problems, especially in the current economic situation... and whining about it won't solve a damn thing. If you want to ask for help or advice that is just fine... but otherwise suck it up and deal, that's what the rest of us are doing.

08-07-2009	#77 (permalink)
dogboy VIP Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Virginia, USA Posts: 2,541 Threads: 6 Reputation: 123	I suppose if everyone could travel forward in time and see their end, they would truly have something to complain about. I imagine most of us would be stuck in some bed, gasping for those last little bits of oxygen, watching the one world we know slowly dim and go blank. Now there's something to complain about. When I first joined ADISC, about a year and a half ago, it was a good site to seek help, and it seemed like we had a number of members who did just that. Some of these problems were big. There are times in our lives when for one reason or another, life come crashing in. I've been there, so have all of you I would imagine. I've lost best friends, girlfriends, etc. and at the time, the problem seemed unresolvable. For me, I would go to my room and drift into massive depression. In fact, when I was 12 and moved away from my best friend, I had a psychotic break. This was before PC's, and I only had my mom and dad who were part of the problem, not the solution. I hope as a community, we will be sympathetic to the needs of each other. At the same time, we all have a responsibility to sift and sort the serious problems from the trite. We've seen big problems with our members, some who have had life changing surgeries, some who have genuine conditions be it Ausbergers, bi-polar or depression. We have some who have very genuine disconnects from socialization with others. These are real problems with no easy solutions. They do exist and should not be taken as off handed. We all have those episodic intervals called an emotional break. It's not surprising that late at night, someone on a computer lost in their own thoughts, feels a sense of desperation, a sense of no return where life cannot get better. We've seen the extreme results of such feelings. I think we should take seriously the occasional bitching and read between the lines, especially if that person needs someone to just care about them, for that short amount of time in the middle of the night when the rest of the house is dark and lonely. Who among us hasn't at one time or another, been there.

08-07-2009	#79 (permalink)
dogboy VIP Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Virginia, USA Posts: 2,541 Threads: 6 Reputation: 123	That reminds me of an Arlo Guthrie song, "The Last Man". In the song, there is a man who has it so bad, that he doesn't even have a street to lie down in, so a truck can run him over. As for disfunctional families, all you can do is wait it out, wait until you are old enough to move out. As some of you know, we adopted what is now our oldest son when he was 12. He is my wife's nephew. He came from a horribly disfunctional family, his absentee father being my wife's brother. We were moving from Ohio, his lifetime home, to Virginia. Imagine the courage it took for a 12 year old boy to leave his mother and aunt, his school and all of his friends to start his life over 500 miles away. When he became a father, I never saw a better dad. He would drop over at the house with baby in car seat, headed out to Walmart or wherever. He always amazes me. He is head principal for one of our middle schools, giving proof that you can rise above welfare poverty and change your situation. I like to think that my wife and I had some hand in his achievements, but he is a most remarkable person.

09-07-2009	#80 (permalink)
ShippoFox foxfoxfoxfoxfox Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: PA Age: 23 Posts: 1,329 Threads: 21 Gallery Uploads: 7 Wiki Edits: 2 Blog Entries: 34 Reputation: 23	Mako... I will admit that I am not an expert, but human psychology does not work that way completely. You're not absolutely wrong, but you're greatly exaggerating. The mind is split into conscious and subconscious. You can't always just do anything. The subconscious feelings/thoughts can make doing certain things extremely taxing to some people. Also, people's minds work in different ways. Some people are very outgoing and some are not. Some people do nothing but work and some people do nothing but try to have fun. Some people like racecars and other people like flowers. A simple way to show that everyone is not the same. Yes, "emo crap" is definitely common, but that doesn't mean we live in a world of unicorns and rainbows. Yes, some people need to shut up about their problems if that's all they talk about. It doesn't mean the problems will go away though, and it doesn't mean they should bottle it all up inside. We can't just make our own reality. Other people do things that affect us. We can't just use magical powers to make everything the way we want it to be. We can't control other people's minds to make everything near perfect. You think people who are being bullied make themselves targets? You might be right to some small extent, but there's only so much you can do to stop it. And once again, it is sometimes due to uncontrollable factors (being short, having freckles, poor family, or some other such thing) I'm sorry that I'm probably taking this all a bit personally. I'm not happy about a lot of things in my life (and I don't know what to do about it), but it could be much worse. I don't whine about my problems constantly, that can be boring and sometimes make things feel worse, but it's good to talk about life's problems to a moderate extent. There are two lessons everyone can learn here... 1. Don't complain about your life too much, but do talk about your problems sometimes. 2. Be nice because someday you may need someone to talk to as well.