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#224 (permalink) |
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Regular
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Once travelled to far away to the dessert, where she hooked up with Jafar. He opened a massive cat head in the sand that could talk, and found the genie's magic lamp. She rubbed it and got three wishes. She first wished for a talking sprinkler, as she had always wondered what a sprinkler would have to say for itself given the ability to. As it were, it only spoke Cameroonian (or some other strange African language with which she was not familiar), so she then wished for the ability to speak all languages. It was then she understood that the sprinkler was going on about how to make the perfect hotdog smoothie. Cruious, she then wished for a hotdog smoothie. The genie granted her the final wish and sure enough, she had the hot dog smoothie. Not surprisingly, it was awful. Nei Nei then went home to feed her cat.
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#226 (permalink) |
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Regular
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Once rode a singing toaster (not the brave little toaster, but a friend of his) across the country just to score some of his favourite yogurt which had it's sales discontinued in America earlier that week. The last shipment was coming into San Diego from Japan (this was some high end herbal yogurt from across the ocean, you see, so good it would justify such a trip). Anyways, the final shipment was going to be be entirely bought out by Ted Nugent, who also really liked the yogurt, but Young Nastyman got there first and jacked a crate for himself. It was then he realized that the he had broken into the wrong ship, and he had actually just opened a crate of one hundred, angry Iranian hornets. Fortunately for him, however, the Iranian bees could only detect things by movement, and he had learned the ability to teleport at a young age for his great aunt Helen. So he vanished into thin air back home, slightly depressed by his yogurtlessness. He then wondered why he had not simply teleported there in the first place, before realizing that the entire story was written as stream-of-thought. After effeectively breaking the fourth wall, he sang Journey covers to a poster of said band on the wall before taking a power nap.
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