A Christmas Short Story

[Charlie F]

Okay, I apologise for this story, really I do.
This is my gift to you for Christmas though, so receive it in the same way you receive Grandma's horrible sweater that you don't want, and won't wear. It's bad, but God knows you love that tasteless bitch.

(This is based on true events and a dream I had last night)

===
We were at the mall, I’m not sure exactly why but it was very important.
It was close to Christmas, and the mall was full of people, busily bustling around shopping for that perfect gift. The mall was decorated with angels and tinsel, and Father Christmas was even putting in an appearance.
We, that’s me and two friends: James and Basil, wandered through the crowd, feeling slightly claustrophobic.
Meanwhile, unknown to us, a Golden Labrador, that’s a dog, was inside an office.

The office had a desk, and on the desk was briefcase full of money, lots of money. The dog grabbed the case with its teeth, and fled the office. The dog’s journey was long and dangerous. He stuck mainly to back-streets, as people starred at him, finding him unusual, as dogs don’t often carry briefcases.

The dog jumped onto the bonnet of a white van, and then placed the briefcase on the top of the windscreen. The dog ran away.

We finished up our very important business in the mall, and returned to James’ van.
I straight away spot that there is a briefcase on top of his van.
I take in down and we all get into the van. James starts driving.

“I bet it’s filled with money, I bet you anything it is” I say, excited.
“That would be fantastic” Basil says.

I’m struggling to open it.
“Imagine if it’s millions” I say, “I bet it’s millions”

“Who do you think put it there, or what?” says James.
“Probably some guy left it there, maybe” I suggest “Perhaps a dog put it there, probably not though, in fact definitely not”

I open it and my friends are shocked to see money. I’m shocked to see not enough.
£97.

We are back in the flats, walking down a corridor to get to James’ flat. I’m stopped by a man, but my friends continue walking not seeing that I’ve stopped.

The man looks familiar, probably an actor from the television. I consider asking him about it, but I’m not sure if he is the actor now, or if he’s in character.

“The dog” The man says finally, he’s just been staring at me for a while.
I look back confused.

“What made you think that a dog put the money on your van?” he said.
“I saw it, I think” I’m not really sure where I saw the dog.
“But you were in the mall, you couldn’t have seen it!” He challenged.
“Oh, I must have read it somewhere then” I replied, unsure. Thinking about it, I was sure that I’d read it somewhere.

“Listen to me, you know full well that it was the dog, so next time you bloody well say so!” He shouts at me. “It was the dog, I’m not taking the blame here; the dog put the money here. Your lies are putting me in shit, do you understand?”

The man is taller than me and well built, and I feel quite threatened. I nervously reply saying that I do understand.

My friends call me over. I look at the man and he has disappeared. I walk over to my friends.

“Who were you talking to?” Basil said.
“Some guy” I say quickly. I make up some stupid excuse, saying that the man was around a corner and that’s why they couldn’t see him.
I look back and I’m expectantly shocked to see a corner has appeared where the man would have been standing.

My friends and I make plans to go to the mall tomorrow to spend our findings. Christmas is near.

Later that day I attend a Christmas carol service at a local church; I don’t want to be there at all. The lights go out and candles are lit, the only light that is switched on is a spot light pointing to a giant cross in the middle of the front wall, behind the brass band that are playing.
I’m sat in the dark, starring at the cross. The light seems to be coming from it, and the deep sound of the tuba section seems to be apart of the light itself, and the vibrations travel from the floor through my body and I’m scared.
The choir are singing, and we, the congregation, are meant to be joining it. There’s a woman behind me singing, I can tell from her voice she’s probably a bitch.

The guy who works at the church starts to talk about Christmas, Christians, Choirs and Community.
“Just how the different sections of a brass band come together, to form a greater whole, we must all come together, and work together like a band does to make a better world for us all. And how a band prepares for a concert through hard work, we now prepare for the anniversary of the birth of Christ our saviour, the Son of God…”

The carols continue, and I sit there bored. I start to look around at people singing, and then it suddenly happens.
One of the cornets misses a note, going too high, and the discord hits me, while simultaneously I see the man again, starring at me, he is sat in the congregation. His head is turned towards me, his face looks angry. His expression is fixed; the only part of him that is moving is his mouth, which is mouthing the words to the carol.

The next day James, Basil and I go the mall in James’ van, our mission is very important: To spend our £97.

We return to the van, bags in our hands, and I straight away notice a briefcase on the top of the van.

We get into the van.

“I bet it’s filled with money, I bet you anything it is” I say, excited.
“That would be fantastic” Basil says.

I’m struggling to open it.
“Imagine if it’s millions” I say, “I bet it’s millions”

“Who do you think put it there, or what?” says James.
“I think a dog put it there, a dog.” I say.
“What?” says Basil, looking at me as though I was crazy.
I open the case and take out the £97.

In the flats, the man stops me in the corridor.
“Why did you put the money there?” I ask, almost demandingly, as I’m getting annoyed.
“What?! The dog!” He shouts.

My friends are waiting for me; they are talking to each other. They can’t see the man because of how the corridor is shaped.

“Okay, well then somebody must have trained the dog to do that.” I say.
“Yes, the dog was trained to carry cases. Not trained to carry that specific case though. He’s just a dog; he did what he felt like, no reason. I would have thought you’d be more impressed that a dog could carry a million quid”
“Wait, there was only ninety…”

I’m interrupted by my friends shouting me over.

I go to the carol service and stare at the cross. Its image reflected in the bells of the instruments, as well as the reflections of the candles. I sing to the carols this time.
The man taking this service isn’t here yet, the band and choir are playing and singing, but there’s no talking or analogies.

The guy walks in late, but it’s not the same person as last time. It’s the man, the actor, this time playing the church guy. He gives me a wink as he walks in.

The next day my friends and I go to the mall. We recently found a million pounds, and we’re sure that it’s fake money, so we’re going to try and spend it to see if it works. This is important.

I quickly leave James’ van, and say I’ll catch my friends later. I run into the mall and buy a camera and other recording equipment. I set it up facing the van, and meet my friends. The money turns out to be real.

We return the James’ van, lots of bags in our hands. The van if filled with gifts and TVs.
I take the equipment down, and grab the briefcase and get into the van.

“Who do you think put it there, or what?” says James, as he drives us back to his flat.
“Dogs are known to leave money on vans, so definitely a dog” I say.
“Oh, of course!” James says feeling embarrassed.
“I actually filmed the van, just for fun” I say, “So we can see the dog when we get to yours'”

In the corridor the man says that he wants to see me at the church’s carol service, and he gives me details. I don’t really want to go, but I don’t want to get on this guy’s bad side.

I have a videotape of the van, and we play it at James’.
It starts showing the van, without a briefcase. We fast forward through it and eventually the man turns up. He slowly walks towards the camera (which was carefully hidden) until his face takes up our entire screen. He backs away and walks off, during the time his face took up the screen, the briefcase appeared on the van.

“That was weird” says Basil, “That guy blocked us from seeing the dog”

James changes the subject, “I think we should go to the mall tomorrow, to spend the money we found today!”

“Of course” I say, “Of course”
I’m rubbing my forehead frustrated. I print off a picture of the guy’s face, and put it into my pocket.

That night in church the man is on time, the actor I mean.

He asks if anybody from the congregation would like to say something, he looks at me. I look downwards.

“Just how the different sections of a brass band come together, to form a greater whole, we must all come together, and work together like a band does to make a better world for us all. And how a band prepares for a concert through hard work, we now prepare for the anniversary of the birth of Christ our saviour, the Son of God…”

He played it differently to the first guy, somehow it was more emotional. He starred at me the whole time whilst giving it though.
He then calls me up the front, everybody looks at me and I have to walk up there.

He opens his mouth and I run out of the door.

The next day we go to the mall, and what I have in mind is very important.
I’m rich now, and I go to the pet shop.

I see a Golden Labrador, that’s a dog, and I experience déjà vu.
A sales person comes up for me, and she says that he’s very well trained.

“He can do anything” she says, “Anything.”
She has a strange glint in her eyes. I have a feeling that the dog has some amazing powers.
“Only one million pounds!” She says.

I buy the dog.

Outside I give the dog the picture of the man.
“Kill this guy” I say, finding this to be really normal/

The dog darts off, after first nodding to me to say it understood.

Later on James, Basil and I are walking down the corridor discussing the money we found today. The man stops me and tells me he wants me to come to the service tonight.

I stare at the cross. The man is talking the service again. I listen to the band playing, and I don’t even flinch when the cornet messes up.

He starts talking again, and then asks if anybody from the congregation would like to say something, he looks at me.

I stand up and timidly say that I would like to say something.
I stand at the front og the room and point to the band.

“Just how the different sections of a brass band come together, to form a greater whole, we must all come together, and work together like a band does to make a better world for us all. And how a band prepares for a concert through hard work, we now prepare for the anniversary of the birth of Christ our saviour, the Son of God…”

People clap, I sit down and the man talks about how important it is to get young people to take part in church and spread positive messages.

Later on, outside of the church as people leave I talk to him. It’s night time, and the moon is strangely large.
“You got robbed today didn’t you?” I say.
He is shocked, how could I have known that?

He gets down on all fours, and darts off. He transforms into the Golden Labrador. He runs into the road and is hit by a white van. James and Basil get out of it and try to help the dog. The dog is injured but not seriously so. We take him back to James’ to look after him.

Whilst everybody sleeps, I murder the dog, put him into bin bags and leave him by the road.

The next morning is Christmas, and everybody has forgotten about the dog. We open presents, and I drink a glass of champagne. I stare out of the window and see the bin bags of dog outside, I smile and close the blinds.

End.

[SnowQueen]

Hmm...okay. Nice job.

[Mazza]

eh?
thats like that movie,badger day (is that the title of the movie that the guy experiences the same day like 20 times?).
what a weird story.nice read tho. :P
slightly repetitive.

[Charlie F]

Originally Posted by SnowQueen

Hmm...okay. Nice job.

Thanks.

Originally Posted by Mazza

eh?
thats like that movie,badger day (is that the title of the movie that the guy experiences the same day like 20 times?).
what a weird story.nice read tho. :P
slightly repetitive.

It's Groundhog Day.
Yeah it is like that, but freakier and more Christmassy.

[Boogeyman]

YOU"VE RAPED MY EYES!!!!!


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! !!!!!!!!!1


But really, it was okay.

[Point Blanch]

Hold it!

What's the meaning of this, Charlie? Is it over my head, or am I just tired?

[Charlie F]

Originally Posted by Point Blanch

Hold it!

What's the meaning of this, Charlie? Is it over my head, or am I just tired?

Don't worry, it's not got any sort of obvious meaning. Although it is about being happy.

The plot is weird mainly because it was based on a dream, and then I wrote the story in my head whilst watching a brass concert, and wrote the thing as soon as I got back.

It's meant to be fun and mildly humorous, and hopefully not terribly written.

[Point Blanch]

I figured. I was tired when I read it so it didn't make much sense then, but it's a dream so it's not written in some strange format. It's neat though!

[Mesmerale]

The dog dies...