The Story of The Billy Who Is Disturbing: A Short, Tragic (read: comedic) Tale by Kovy

Kovalchuk · 14-12-2008

If you are offended by a crass satire about a pedophile, STOP READING NOW! If not, please continue, and enjoy! If you like it, please say so.

There was once a twenty-seven year old goon who lived in an Atlantic City apartment named Billy Lewanowicz. He demanded money frequently from his mother, Marie, who lived across town, and he worked at Office Depot. He refused to go back to school despite the fact he had dropped out of freshman year of high school. One morning, just like many others gone by, Billy woke in his messy room in the moldy, yellowed sheets. He put on the same clothes he had worn all week: a ratty, dirt-smeared New York Rangers knit cap, a tweed jacket, a white tanktop that left none of his 270-pound, 5'3'' frame to the imagination, and a pair of red corduroy overalls. He haphazardly prepared a bowl of Count Chocula and casually began to eat, spilling more than he ingested. The clock read 9:27, and although Billy was due at work at 9:30 so that he could operate the cash register, he did not care. He worked better when he arrived late, as he was more rested.

As he was eating, Billy reached for his IBM ThinkPad, and with one swoop of his midget paw, swiped the old computer toward himself. The bowl of Count Chocula and milk spilled all over the computer. Again.
"Shit!" Billy swore and even more bits of partially-chewed cereal rained down upon the disgusting computer. He opened Internet Explorer, as he usually did. The computer did not like the Count Chocula, as it demonstrated by emitting smoke, which frustrated Billy. He slammed the mighty paws down on the computer, dislodging the "K" key. Again. He became even more irate, as he needed this key to access the web site. He threw his mother's ceramic bowl, which had held his cereal, out the window. Ten stories down, it obliterated a windshield. Billy laughed sinisterly.

Billy swore again. He slammed the "K" key back into the ThinkPad. The page had loaded. He typed in Deeker.com, his favorite webpage.

This is the main reason why Billy was not like everyone else, despite his undesirable circumstances. (Author's note: Especially being a Rangers fan.) He liked to wear, and use, diapers. When he wore them, his short penis rose fast. He loved diapers even more than he loved women. But also, he loved something much more sinister: pre-pubescent boys. He checked the latest update, this time from someone called MFH, who uploaded these... delicious... photos of a boy in assorted diapers. He immediately downloaded them, and posted multiple (pervish) comments. With that, he left. Upon reaching the bottom floor by elevator, Billy exited the building to realize that the windshield he had smashed via bowl had been his own 1977 Chrysler LeBaron that he had taken from his mother. Swearing more, Billy hailed a taxi. He squeezed the rolls of fat into the cab and, nearly throwing up from too much Count Chocula, told the driver the address.

By the time he arrived, Billy had thrown up, several times, in the back seat. The driver, in Billy's eyes, was very overly hostile. He left, pretending to forget to pay the fare. But he was caught, quickly. Billy, after grumpily paying three dollars, shot the driver a bird and billowed into work.

On the job, Billy was carefree. He told multiple customers to fuck off, he was reading a story about this MFH gentleman. He should have to meet him someday. Then, he got an idea. An awful idea. A wonderful awful idea. He would masquerade as the object of his desires.

He searched the internet for a place to do this, and came across ADSIC.org, a community where many people seemed to be welcome. That night, after another hostile taxi ride and bickering over the maximum elevator capacity with that stupid elevator boy, he flopped to the ThinkPad. Billy went back to the site, and registered as bbydiperboy01230484335643542653236. He went to the Greetings/Introductions thread, and posted his own story about his "creation". He typed furiously in baby-talk.
"hi im jake an im 10 yrs old. i wear dipers for fun and because mommy forces me to. im incon but i jack off neway in my dipees. my sistter n my siter bby me and locks me ina crib. i have a gay rel8ionship wit cody the boy nex dor. any boys in dipes wanna takl pm me. thankks, billy"
The next thing Billy knew, he was bombarded with "You're not real!"-style messages. He had even forgotten he was using a pseudonym!

The next thing he knew, much to his protest, he was banned! Who were Moose, Strawberry, Freddie C, Raiden, and that-Russian-character-who-he-could-have-sworn-was-a-hockey-player... Kovalchuk?... to banish him from a potential source of boys and a certain fapping-time activity? Regardless, Billy Lewanowicz threw his ThinkPad out the window, which smashed the back window of the old LeBaron. He swiped his clothes off and put on his NY Rangers onesie and an Abena. Frustrated, he threw a small loafer at the naked lightbulb, smashing the bulb and making it dark. He entered the yellowed, moldy sheets, took a load in the diaper, and went to bed.

satyrical · 14-12-2008

Just wow. Disturbing, disgusting, downright-hilarious. Great work, Kolvy.

Mazza · 14-12-2008

how do people get the imagination to revult like this (no offence hehe)
btw i never thaught of adding (Authors note

type thing to stories,thats a great idea.
i would usually say "good read" or "great story", but in this case,wow --just wow!
theres nothing more to add, like wow.yuk.that put me off my appetite.
btw im polish ^_^

Kovalchuk · 15-12-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mazza

how do people get the imagination to revult like this (no offence hehe)
btw i never thaught of adding (Authors note

type thing to stories,thats a great idea.
i would usually say "good read" or "great story", but in this case,wow --just wow!
theres nothing more to add, like wow.yuk.that put me off my appetite.
btw im polish ^_^

So, do you like it?

(As a side note, I got the idea for Billy's last name from a friend. It is his last name.)

**njdiapers08** · 15-12-2008

i like the story

Kovalchuk · 15-12-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by njdiapers08

i like the story

Thanks!

maccracker18 · 16-12-2008

im not totally sure what to say about this one... its kinda funny, kinda sad, and kinda scary because it probably really describes someone out in the world, somewhere

Kovalchuk · 16-12-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by tbdl58860

im not totally sure what to say about this one... its kinda funny, kinda sad, and kinda scary because it probably really describes someone out in the world, somewhere

Rest assured, it is NOT based on anyone that I have heard of. It is purely fictitious and written to make people laugh.

PyramidHead · 19-12-2008

Great read, funny.

Kovalchuk · 22-12-2008

Thanks, PyramidHead!

14-12-2008	#1 (permalink)
Kovalchuk Resident Hockey Nut Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Philips Arena Age: 16 Posts: 1,528 Threads: 242 Gallery Uploads: 11 Wiki Edits: 4 Blog Entries: 2 Reputation: 55	The Story of The Billy Who Is Disturbing: A Short, Tragic (read: comedic) Tale by Kovy If you are offended by a crass satire about a pedophile, STOP READING NOW! If not, please continue, and enjoy! If you like it, please say so. There was once a twenty-seven year old goon who lived in an Atlantic City apartment named Billy Lewanowicz. He demanded money frequently from his mother, Marie, who lived across town, and he worked at Office Depot. He refused to go back to school despite the fact he had dropped out of freshman year of high school. One morning, just like many others gone by, Billy woke in his messy room in the moldy, yellowed sheets. He put on the same clothes he had worn all week: a ratty, dirt-smeared New York Rangers knit cap, a tweed jacket, a white tanktop that left none of his 270-pound, 5'3'' frame to the imagination, and a pair of red corduroy overalls. He haphazardly prepared a bowl of Count Chocula and casually began to eat, spilling more than he ingested. The clock read 9:27, and although Billy was due at work at 9:30 so that he could operate the cash register, he did not care. He worked better when he arrived late, as he was more rested. As he was eating, Billy reached for his IBM ThinkPad, and with one swoop of his midget paw, swiped the old computer toward himself. The bowl of Count Chocula and milk spilled all over the computer. Again. "Shit!" Billy swore and even more bits of partially-chewed cereal rained down upon the disgusting computer. He opened Internet Explorer, as he usually did. The computer did not like the Count Chocula, as it demonstrated by emitting smoke, which frustrated Billy. He slammed the mighty paws down on the computer, dislodging the "K" key. Again. He became even more irate, as he needed this key to access the web site. He threw his mother's ceramic bowl, which had held his cereal, out the window. Ten stories down, it obliterated a windshield. Billy laughed sinisterly. Billy swore again. He slammed the "K" key back into the ThinkPad. The page had loaded. He typed in Deeker.com, his favorite webpage. This is the main reason why Billy was not like everyone else, despite his undesirable circumstances. (Author's note: Especially being a Rangers fan.) He liked to wear, and use, diapers. When he wore them, his short penis rose fast. He loved diapers even more than he loved women. But also, he loved something much more sinister: pre-pubescent boys. He checked the latest update, this time from someone called MFH, who uploaded these... delicious... photos of a boy in assorted diapers. He immediately downloaded them, and posted multiple (pervish) comments. With that, he left. Upon reaching the bottom floor by elevator, Billy exited the building to realize that the windshield he had smashed via bowl had been his own 1977 Chrysler LeBaron that he had taken from his mother. Swearing more, Billy hailed a taxi. He squeezed the rolls of fat into the cab and, nearly throwing up from too much Count Chocula, told the driver the address. By the time he arrived, Billy had thrown up, several times, in the back seat. The driver, in Billy's eyes, was very overly hostile. He left, pretending to forget to pay the fare. But he was caught, quickly. Billy, after grumpily paying three dollars, shot the driver a bird and billowed into work. On the job, Billy was carefree. He told multiple customers to fuck off, he was reading a story about this MFH gentleman. He should have to meet him someday. Then, he got an idea. An awful idea. A wonderful awful idea. He would masquerade as the object of his desires. He searched the internet for a place to do this, and came across ADSIC.org, a community where many people seemed to be welcome. That night, after another hostile taxi ride and bickering over the maximum elevator capacity with that stupid elevator boy, he flopped to the ThinkPad. Billy went back to the site, and registered as bbydiperboy01230484335643542653236. He went to the Greetings/Introductions thread, and posted his own story about his "creation". He typed furiously in baby-talk. "hi im jake an im 10 yrs old. i wear dipers for fun and because mommy forces me to. im incon but i jack off neway in my dipees. my sistter n my siter bby me and locks me ina crib. i have a gay rel8ionship wit cody the boy nex dor. any boys in dipes wanna takl pm me. thankks, billy" The next thing Billy knew, he was bombarded with "You're not real!"-style messages. He had even forgotten he was using a pseudonym! The next thing he knew, much to his protest, he was banned! Who were Moose, Strawberry, Freddie C, Raiden, and that-Russian-character-who-he-could-have-sworn-was-a-hockey-player... Kovalchuk?... to banish him from a potential source of boys and a certain fapping-time activity? Regardless, Billy Lewanowicz threw his ThinkPad out the window, which smashed the back window of the old LeBaron. He swiped his clothes off and put on his NY Rangers onesie and an Abena. Frustrated, he threw a small loafer at the naked lightbulb, smashing the bulb and making it dark. He entered the yellowed, moldy sheets, took a load in the diaper, and went to bed. Last edited by Kovalchuk; 14-12-2008 at 10:21 PM.

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14-12-2008	#2 (permalink)
satyrical The Writer Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: NS, Canada Age: 21 Posts: 1,031 Threads: 13 Blog Entries: 5 Reputation: 39	Just wow. Disturbing, disgusting, downright-hilarious. Great work, Kolvy.

14-12-2008	#3 (permalink)
Mazza Regular Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Australia, South Australia Age: 16 Posts: 515 Threads: 18 Gallery Uploads: 6 Blog Entries: 1 Reputation: 7	how do people get the imagination to revult like this (no offence hehe) btw i never thaught of adding (Authors note type thing to stories,thats a great idea. i would usually say "good read" or "great story", but in this case,wow --just wow! theres nothing more to add, like wow.yuk.that put me off my appetite. btw im polish ^_^

15-12-2008	#5 (permalink)
njdiapers08 Newbie Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: collingswood ,New Jersey , USA Age: 21 Posts: 12 Threads: 2 Reputation: 0	i like the story

16-12-2008	#7 (permalink)
maccracker18 Regular Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Pennsylvania, usa Posts: 132 Threads: 16 Gallery Uploads: 4 Reputation: 1	im not totally sure what to say about this one... its kinda funny, kinda sad, and kinda scary because it probably really describes someone out in the world, somewhere

19-12-2008	#9 (permalink)
PyramidHead Regular Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: House, Country Posts: 55 Threads: 3 Blog Entries: 1 Reputation: 1	Great read, funny.

22-12-2008	#10 (permalink)
Kovalchuk Resident Hockey Nut Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Philips Arena Age: 16 Posts: 1,528 Threads: 242 Gallery Uploads: 11 Wiki Edits: 4 Blog Entries: 2 Reputation: 55	Thanks, PyramidHead!