Aden's Alteration

[Baby Jake]

Part 2/3 in the Aden trilogy I wrote in 2005. Very much recommended you read Aden's Revelation first! Enjoy.

---

“Chapter Eleven, a Reason for Suspicion”


“I can do this” I thought.

“I can do this…” I thought, once more…

I glared at them… my heart was pounding. My blood was boiling. My mind was racing. My hands were shaking. I was on edge.

“Don’t act suspicious” I thought to myself.

“Just do it, and leave. No one will care. No one will think anything of it” I thought.

But I was standing still.

“…not again…” I thought, accepting my own defeat.

I kind of sighed, and walked away… away from that baby’s aisle, standing in front of the packs of diapers.

I hastily walked through the store, and picked up some random object, which ended up being a candy bar… and purchased, to make it look like I wasn’t stealing something.

Then, I walked out the doors of that department store, and into the blazing heat that awaited me outside.

---

And that wasn’t an overstatement. As I walked outside, it was pretty much the equivalent of being punched in the face. The change in temperature was incredible, from the air-conditioned store, to the exhausting heat of outside.

I kind of slouched as I struggled to get behind the store, to get my bike, and ride it home… which was a horrible task. The few small inclines I had to go up on my way home, which weren’t usually anything bad… were like mountains with this heat.

But surely, of course, I made it home. I wasn’t in the best of moods however. I remorsefully stomped into my room…

“Damn it…” I typed.

“What? You didn’t get them?” he typed back to me.

This was, of course, the friend whom I met a month or so ago.

“No… I freaked out again” I sadly typed.

“Man… you have to chill. Oh well… most people back down once or twice before they finally buy their own diapers…” he typed back to me.

“Yeah, yeah… I know” I said.

“Why can’t you just get them off of Brian again?” he asked me.

“He doesn’t have anymore. We used them all.” I reminded him.

“Oh yeah… he wasn’t a DL you said, so he only bought a bag for the dares…” he remembered out loud.

“Yeah…” I said.

“Man… I still don’t think he’s what he said he was… just a normal kid” he replied.

“Eh… I still have my doubts but, you know… I can’t really do anything to make sure he isn’t. And besides… I’ve been keeping an eye on him. He seems like a normal kid, anyways…” I said.

“Yeah, true…” he replied.

“I don’t know man… I’m feeling a bit depressed now. I can’t bring myself to buy diapers, and I want them bad” I whined.

“Awww… you’ll be fine. Just build courage. Its not easy… It took me two tries to get my first pack of diapers last week” he said to me.

“Yeah… I know…” I said.

“Man its weird though, you ran through the streets of a town in nothing but a diaper with Brian, eventually not getting phased at all, but now you are scared to buy your own” he said.

“I know, I know… I guess its because I just moved here at the time, I knew no one, no one knew me… but that’s changed… people know me more now…” I said.

“Yeah, I can see that” he acknowledged.

“So what are you going to do now?” he asked me.

I shrugged, even though he wasn’t in front of me in person.

“I don’t know…” I said.

I thought for a moment…

“Maybe I’ll go and call Seth or Brian or something” I typed.

“Okay” he replied.

“Yeah… I guess I’ll do that” I said.

“Alright” he replied.

There was of course a phone next to me… it was cordless, and it was usually in my room at all times.

I picked it up, turned it on, and dialed in Brian’s number.

“Hello?” I heard over the phone. It was his mom.

“Hi this is Aden… is Brian home?” I asked.

“Oh. Sorry, no he isn’t. He and Dan went out for a bit… but I can have him call you, when he gets back, okay?” his mom said.

“Okay, thanks” I said.

We hung up.

“Hmmm… things just aren’t going my way…” I thought.

I then picked the phone up, turned it on, and dialed in Seth’s number this time.

“Hello?” I heard… wasn’t sure who it was.

“Hi this is Aden… is Seth home?” I asked.

“Yes he is Aden, hold on… I’ll go get him.” I heard.

“Thanks” I said…

It was a minute or so, before I finally heard Seth’s voice.

“Hello?” I heard.

“Hey” I said ambitiously.

“Oh hey Aden” I heard him say.

“What are you up to?” I asked.

“Not much man… why, what’s up?” he asked.

“Was wondering if we could do something or not” I said.

“Hmmm… I’m sure we can. What’d you have in mind?” he asked.

“I dunno… nothing specific” I said.

“Well if you want to come over, come on over” he said to me.

“Alright” I said.

---

I was back on my bike, once again, as I cruised through the streets. I had gone to Seth’s house many times by now, so I knew exactly where to go. When I made it to my house, I dropped my bike in Seth’s front yard, went on top of his porch, and knocked on his door.

“Hey” Seth said as he opened the door… he was obviously waiting for me.

“You want to ride bikes?” I invited.

He contemplated…

“Sure, alright” he said.

Seth smiled a bit.

“Come inside for a minute though… I need to ask my mom for my allowance.” He explained.

“Oh, okay” I said understandingly.

“Yeah man… we can go to like a Dairy Queen or something. It’s hot out there” Seth said.

“Yeah…” I agreed.

I sat down on the couch, as Seth walked somewhere else into the house. I heard footsteps upstairs, some heavily muffled voices and a high pitched crying sound, and then footsteps coming back.

Seth sighed…

“She’s busy with my little brother at the moment” he said.

“Alright” I said understandingly.

“So… we’re going to have to chill here for a few minutes. Put on TV or something while she’s done taking care of Ethan” he said.

Ethan was of course, Seth’s young brother who hasn’t yet exceeded the age of an early toddler.

“Alright” I said understandingly, again.

Personally, I didn’t care too much. I was honestly enjoying lounging around in the nice air-conditioned house, considering the heat outdoors.

It was though, only a few minutes before we eventually saw Seth’s mom walking through with Ethan in her arms, asleep.

“Seth, hold on a minute, okay?” she whispered.

She went upstairs and eventually returned not with Ethan, but with some cold hard cash.

“Here’s your allowance for this week” she said, giving Seth some money.

“Thanks” he said.

And after that, there was no hesitation for us to get out, and get on our bikes.

---

We whizzed through intersections, small streets, back alleys, and obscure roads to try to let the wind cool us off. I followed him to the ice cream shop, since he knew where it was. I had a pretty good idea where it was, after all… I wasn’t really new to the town anymore. I knew where most things were, but not as well as I did with my old town. He was taking a strange route… it was longer, but I think he was just enjoying his bike ride.

We stopped in a parking lot… I knew exactly where we were… because there was the store I was at an hour or so ago.

“Here, follow me just a bit further” he said.

We cruised through it, until we came to another stop in front of a small ice cream shop. It had picnic benches, and there were a few people at it… but there was a bench we could sit at.

We dropped our bikes, walked up to the cashier, and ordered some ice cream and some hot dogs… Once we got them, we sat down at our bench, and chilled out.

“You hang out with Brian lately?” Seth asked me as we sat down.

“Not recently… doing what beats me” I said.

“Yeah, same” Seth said.

“What are you doing for the 4th?” I asked him, pertaining to the upcoming 4th of July holiday.

“No clue man… I was hoping we could sleep over Brian’s house or something” Seth said.

I nodded in agreement.

“…but I don’t know how that’ll be with those two being busy” he finished.

I nodded in agreement, again.

“This always happens though.” He said.

“What?” I asked.

“I guess they are in some summer program or something” he said.

“Oh” I said, never really thinking of it like that.

“Yeah… I don’t really care though. That’s why I never bothered asking” I said.

I nodded some more.

“What are YOU doing for the 4th?” he asked me.

“Me? I dunno… nothing planned.” I said.

“Yeah… well I dunno, if you can’t think of anything, you’re always welcome to sleep over my house” he invited.

“Thanks… I’ll definitely keep that in mind” I said.

“Yeah… that’s if Brian and Daniel are too busy. Then you should sleep over their house, whenever there is one, it’s always a good time. I’m sure you know that now” Seth said.

It was a refreshing sit… very nice and fun. He and I talked about stuff, just what’s been going on in our lives. Whenever we were done, though… we began back to Seth’s house.

---

We walked in, and took our shoes off and pretty much got comfortable as we walked into his living room. We sat down on his couch, with nothing in mind to do exactly.

Before either one of us even turned the TV on, though… Seth asked me a question.

“Want to play playstation, in my room?” he asked me.

I contemplated…

“Sure… alright” I said.

We got off the couch and went upstairs, into his room. It was very cool inside; his air conditioner was on… Even cooler inside his room than the rest of the house.

“Aww man… can I move in?” I jokingly asked, acknowledging the cold air.

“This is nice” I said.

He laughed, and bent down to start up his PS2 and his TV.

“Sit down anywhere you find a spot to” he said…

He said that, because his room though was very cool, was much unorganized. Clothes, books, and random stuff were on the floor all over. I looked around, and eventually just sat down on the floor, since I didn’t want to sit on his bed to be polite.

---

It had been about an hour… he and I were playing for the whole time, and just having idle chat about whatever.

“Hang on man… I’ve got to go use the bathroom” he said, pausing the game.

I of course was not going to keep him from doing his business, especially in his own house, so I just nodded in acknowledgment as he left the room.

It was of course only I during that time. At that time, in Seth’s room… I stretched a bit, drowning in my own thoughts as I always did when I had time to myself. I cracked some joints, and as I was stretching… I guess I must’ve lost my balance but I kind of fell back onto my back real fast.

The clothes and stuff on the floor of course made for a soft landing. All was very soft on me… except for something. Something was digging into my back, somewhat painfully… but not agonizingly. I just sat up quickly, and of course, examined what it was.

I looked, but there was nothing.

“That’s funny…” I thought.

I knew for a fact something was digging into my back when I was on it… But there was nothing but clothes. So I felt around, and eventually felt that there was something under it. So I moved the clothes away.

And it was to my absolute surprise… it made my heart skip a beat when I realized what it was. My eyes widened, my mouth dropped, my heart stopped, and my blood began pumping. I double glanced, three times to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating… because to my absolute shock… I was starring at what was apparently… a baby blue pacifier, with a clear silicon nipple.

Like I said… I wasn’t too sure if I were dreaming, hallucinating, or witnessing some phenomenal effect from the immense heat and sun outside. But I became very aware very quickly, that this was no illusion. There really was a blue pacifier on Seth’s floor.

And after that fact sunk in, I began to react… react with mostly questions and thoughts. But out of all of them, I quickly came to my rather hasty conclusion as to why there was a pacifier on his floor.

“Seth… is a teen baby” I thought.

No other reason to me sounded logical, only that one.

Suddenly my mindless gaze was stopped as I heard a door shut, in the hall beyond this room. I knew it was Seth, coming back. It was in those five seconds I had to make a decision.

“What should I do!?” I thought.

“I could tell him I found it… let him know I know he is what he is…” I said.

But right when I heard that door beginning to open, I tossed it back under the clothes, and acted like nothing was wrong.

He didn’t notice anything…

“Got to go when you have to go” he said as he walked in.

“Y-Yeah” I stuttered.

He smirked, and walked over to his controller. I looked over at him… and I must have been glaring at him quite noticeably, because…

“What?” he said to me, knocking me out of my mindless gaze.

“Huh? Oh… nothing” I said, lying completely.

“Okay… well… lets get to playing” he said.

I knocked the whole thing out of my head for now. I needed to act cool… act calm. Act like I didn’t find a pacifier on his floor. Act like I was only ten minutes ago… act like we were real close friends. Which we were, but… I was feeling very strange.

It was an incredibly strange feeling… it was completely surprising in all ways. I mean… not to compare a good thing with a bad thing… but it was like finding your best friend on drugs. I mean, you always are cautious of such a thing, but when it actually happens, you don’t know what to do, even though you always thought over and over about what if it happened. Should you tell someone? Should you come out with it? What should you do? It was a very strange situation.

But I acted cool. I acted like all of the things I listed previously. Until, finally… I had to go home. It was getting late, and dinner was getting made at my house… so I went home.

[Baby Jake]

“Chapter Twelve, A Dream Shattered”


“He’s a freakin teen baby” I typed.

“What!?” I saw come back.

“I found a pacifier in his room man” I told him.

I was, of course, talking to my online friend. My best one, at least. Since I first met him, I had met several others… but none of them were quite as good as one as this one. Luke, or ‘Lukie’.

“That’s quite a find” I saw Lukie type back.

“Yeah…” I said.

“What’d you do?” I was asked.

“…I did nothing. I’m just going to wait for a bit…” I said.

“Man… that is really strange” I saw.

“Yes” I agreed.

“You really think he is?” I was asked.

“Well… I don’t think there is much more reason for him to have a pacifier in his room” I explained.

“This is true…” I saw Luke type back.

“I dunno…” I kind typed.

I thought for a moment…

“I need sleep” I said.

“Okay” he replied.

“Yeah…” I said.

“Good night” he said.

I turned my monitor off, stood up, turned around, and fell face-first onto my bed. I crawled up it, and shuffled around some, trying to get bundled up into the blankets. Even though it was the middle of summer, and my air conditioner was on low… it was something about a blanket that didn’t allow me to sleep if I weren’t under one. I guess it was the weight, or the feel alone… but I couldn’t. It just made me feel weird.

Once I finally got into my preferred position, I laid there still, thinking once more as I usually did when my mind wasn’t stimulated by something else. This time though… I wasn’t contemplating myself, or my desires… I was contemplating Seth, his desires, and what I found on his floor.

I mean… wasn’t it really all what it seemed to be? I mean, yes, it definitely was a pacifier, and it was definitely one a baby would use. However, I guess I was being cautious… but I was thinking about what if I was overreacting, and he really wasn’t a teen baby? What if it was all a misunderstanding?

I thought for a moment… of course. But then I shut myself up. I quit thinking about the bad possibilities, and then began to think about all the good ones. A friend who shares my desire for diapers… a friend who I can share that kind of desire freely with. Someone I can have a normal conversation with, in person, over coffee if I really felt like it. The fantasies all kind of gave me a big cheesy grin, and something to think about, until I eventually softly fell asleep….

---

“You wanna wear big boy pants?” I heard.

I left out an infantile whine…

It was I and my mother. We were in the bathroom. I was sitting there, on the floor, looking up at the toilet, which seemed very unappealing to me.

“No” I insisted, vigorously shaking my head left and right.

She chuckled…

“Come on Aden. You have to sometime… everyone has to grow up. You want to drive a car?” she asked me.

“Yeah” I said with a smile.

“You want to go to school? Meet a bunch of friends?” she asked.

“Yeah” I said with a cheesier smile.

“Well. These are parts of growing up” she said.

I listened with interest but attempted to act as though I wasn’t.

“And it isn’t just driving a car, or meeting friends. There’s a whole lot more that’s fun about growing up” she began.

“Like riding a bike… Getting a job, so you can get your own money and buy all the ice cream you want. Sleeping in your own bed…” she said, listing basic things…

I was interested.

“Now Aden… don’t you want to grow up?” she asked me.

“Uh huh!” I said, nodding my head vigorously.

“Well. One of the first parts about growing up… is getting rid of those diapers” she said.

“Why?” I kind of whined…

“Hehe… only baby’s where diapers” she said, chuckling a bit…

---

And it was right there, I was suddenly back in my bed, back in my room, back in my house, back in my thirteen year old self, rather than being a young toddler, in my old house, in my old nursery.

I was completely awake. The sun was raised, so I got a good night’s sleep. I was lying there, starring at the ceiling, completely dumbfounded by the dream… and wondering how many times it had been that I’ve had that dream.

I sat up, contemplating my dream. I was getting aggravated. This was the one of many times I have had this dream now, but it wasn’t the same every time. Details were changed, my mom and I were in a different area sometimes, etc.

It was all very interesting, but I wasn’t in the mood to continue thinking about it any further. My stomach was growling, indicating I was very hungry… So I knocked myself out of my little trance, and stood up, and walked downstairs, into the kitchen.

---

“I don’t know what it is man” I typed.

“That is pretty weird…” Luke typed.

“Yeah… its been like a dream that repeats itself over, but isn’t the same twice” I typed back.

We were, of course, discussing my dream.

“I don’t know what it could mean… I mean it definitely comes from your need for diapers and such, but it seems to have more depth to it than that” I read.

“Yeah… it feels like more than just my mind dealing with that” I replied.

“Like how do you feel?” Luke asked me.

“When?” I asked.

“After the dream… during the dream…” he said.

“Well… after words… I feel really odd. It gives me a strong emotion of like… it’s really hard to explain. It feels like I’m missing something big” I said.

“And during?” he asked.

“…it feels like I have everything I ever wanted” I said.

“Hmmm…” I read.

“I mean, in the dream, everything seems so real and clear. Nothing I can think of looks or seems out of place, nothing seems wrong in anyway. It all seems so clear and real, it actually confuses the hell out of me when I wake up” I said.

“I see…” I read.

“I’ll give it some thought, you know? I think about it, tell you what I come up with. But I have to go for now” I saw.

“Alright man…” I typed.

He logged off, and so I was left alone to contemplate further. However, I didn’t think about my dream any further. I felt it was unnecessary to think about something that wasn’t real; when there was something else that was very real awaiting my action: Seth’s and his pacifier.

“What am I going to do?” I thought.

This was one of those things you always wanted to happen but never thought it would, so when it finally did, you were completely taken off guard, like I was now. I was thinking and thinking… until finally I came to a conclusion that I would like to talk to him about it… later on today…

So I reached over, and grabbed my phone, eager to call him… I dialed his number, and placed it against my ear.

“Hello?” I of course heard. It was Seth.

“Hey Seth” I said.

“Oh hey Aden” he responded.

“What are you up to?” I asked him.

“Nothing much at all honestly… sitting around, was just sitting around in my room, playing some games on my PS2 as always…” I heard him say.

And then and there, I had a mental picture of what he probably was doing… He was probably sitting there, on his bed, with his pacifier in his mouth, and maybe with a bottle, too…

“Yeah, I’m pretty bored” I admitted.

“Well… come on over if you can, you’re always welcomed on over” he said.

I felt touched…

“Thanks, I guess I’ll be on my over then” I said.

“Alright, well… I’ll see you” he said.

I hung up the phone, and began to get dressed…

---

It was a longer walk to his house than usual. This was of course, all mental… I got there in only a few minutes, but those minutes stretched on for a lot longer than that to me. This is because I was doing a lot of thinking… and decision making. I was thinking about how I was going to reveal to him, my discovery. Should I throw hints, or just say it to him straight out? Should I admit to him my side as a diaper lover, first, in case he thinks I won’t accept it, or let him come out first? How was I going to set the mood? Should I even set the mood? Maybe I should just slowly transition into a conversation about this kind of stuff…

There were a lot of things on my mind of course. Every scenario I thought of I tried to make a plan for it, to be prepared. But there simply wasn’t enough distance between his house and mine for me to prepare completely, because before I realized it, I was standing in front of Seth’s house once again. I walked to the door and knocked.

The door swung open like it usually did, and it was of course Seth answering it, since he was expecting me. He greeted me inside, and I of course fronted a fake attitude, trying not to act like there was something on my mind. I smiled, and acted eager to hear what he did last night… and its not like I didn’t care, there was just other things on my mind that I wanted to get out as soon as I possibly could. I was just waiting for that opportunity that there would be silence, for me to somehow spark up a conversation.

And then it came.

---

“Yeah man… I don’t know what Brian and Daniel have been up to. But like I said, you’ve got to really seriously try to sleepover their house if you can for the 4th…” he said.

“Yeah, I really want to” I explained.

“Maybe we could do some more dares or something” he said.

My opportunity has arrived…

“Yeah, we haven’t done those in a while” I said.

“That’s true, I don’t know why.” He said back.

“I don’t know… We’ve had a few sleepovers this summer so far, but not as many as I’ve been hoping. The whole dares thing kind of ended after our first summer sleepover, you remember?” he explained.

I thought about what he meant…

And it was actually true. It was about mid-June, the school year had finally ended. It was actually the Friday that school ended on that we slept over Brian’s house. We were all sitting in Brian’s and Daniel’s room, all contemplating what to do next with our ‘diaper-dares’.

However, as we all discussed… the magic had kind of faded for all of us. I, of course, was staring at Brian the whole time, watching his moves, examining him for any signs of being a diaper-lover. But like I said, the magic had faded. None of us had any interest anymore to do them. Our imagination-well had faded; we were completely and utterly bone-dry of any ideas.

And it was that night that would end our dares for the month so far. There hasn’t been any diaper-streaking through the night or anything like that, since that night. And the dares that the night featured weren’t very spectacular or really worth any of our time anymore. So they stopped…

“Yeah, I see what you mean” I concurred.

He shrugged, showing off his apathy as usual. I felt my opportunity to start a conversation beginning to slowly vanish… So I jumped on it as fast as I could.

“So how come we enjoy doing those dares so much?” I asked, spitting out the first thing I thought of.

“I don’t know… I just did them because it was fun, and something about them made it difficult for us to do them.” He explained.

“Yeah” I answered.

“I don’t know its something to do. Not much to do here, you know? So… dares of any kind are just a way to have fun” he admitted.

“Yeah, me too” I said.

“So Seth” I began…

“What’s up?” he asked.

“What’s your opinion on people’s inner-differences?” I asked… perhaps being a bit too vague.

“What?” he asked completely confused.

“I mean like, what’s your take on people who are different because they like more… strange things?” I asked.

“Hmmm… I don’t really know what you’re getting at with this… but I guess I don’t really care. You are who you are, just mind your business and I’ll mind mine” he said.

I nodded to show I understood.

“Why do you ask?” he asked me.

“I don’t know, was just a question. Trying to start a conversation…” I said.

“Ah…” he kind of said.

“I was just wondering, you seem like a guy who’s pretty much non-caring about stuff.” I said.

He shrugged.

“Yeah…” I said…

“Hey Seth” I said.

“What’s up?” he said again.

“How come you had a pacifier under your shirt last night?” I asked.

Now maybe I went about it the whole wrong way… but I couldn’t think of any way to put it.

“W-what?” he asked.

I suddenly came very clear that he was now caring about something. His eyes got larger, and he sat up a bit…

“A pacifier” I said.

“A little, baby blue pacifier was under that shirt… right there” I said, pointing at the shirt that I didn’t notice was still lying there, on his floor… until now.

He looked a bit shocked, but not TOO shocked. Not as shocked as I would’ve been if someone were to ask why I had diapers under my bed.

He looked at me, and slowly bent down, and pulled the shirt away. And like I said, there it was. There was the blue pacifier I had mentioned to him only a moment or two before, laying on the floor. He picked it up, and looked at me… and looked at it again with a strange look on his face.

“Dude” he said.

I felt uneasy… I felt like I had gone about it the wrong way. I was looking at him, as he had a strange expression on his face…

“Man its cool I don’t care” I said.

He shook his head…

“No really, it’s fine. I…” and it was right there. Right there that I was cut off. I was cut off by Seth’s next words, which almost made me have a stroke from absolute disbelief.

I mean… to think I almost said “I – like to wear diapers, too” to Seth. However, I was luckily cut off…

“This is my little brother’s pacifier that he’s been crying and screaming about for the past like three days about” he said.

My heart stopped.

“…w…what?” I said, feeling a sudden lack of air in my lungs.

“Yeah!” he said, with his expression slowly transitioning into a bit of joy rather than shock.

“Man! Now I can SLEEP!” he said with happiness.

I couldn’t breath. My heart was racing so damn fast I couldn’t see straight. I thought I was going to die from the blood rushing through my veins at off-the-charts pressure. I had complete, full-body paralysis. I couldn’t move from shock.

Why? It wasn’t because I had jumped the gun, and assumed something that was apparently not the real thing going on. It was because I was two words short of admitting my loving diapers to a good friend. Thoughts and flashes of him laughing at me, and telling Brian and Daniel, began flooding my head.

“Man… what could I have done…?” I thought in complete disbelief.

He looked at it with a small bit of joy, and then exited the room to go give it to his mother, while I sat there on his bed, completely motionless. He soon returned soon, without the pacifier, and sat back on the bed. He seemed a bit overjoyed… and I tried to maintain my normal attitude… which was incredibly difficult.

“Man… you have no idea… I CAN SLEEP tonight!” he said.

I faked a laugh…

“Yeah man… Ethan like never stopped crying over that thing disappearing. My mom’s been searching the house up-and-down… don’t know HOW it ended up in my room… My brother must’ve dropped it in here when my mom was carrying him through or something” he said.

I nodded in agreement.

“So what’d you think? Think I was suckin’ on it and stuff?” he asked me, with a bit of a smile. My heart skipped a beat.

I shrugged and smiled and laughed a small bit, all of which were fake.

“I can only assume something by how it seems” I said uneasily.

He looked at me at me with a bit of a sly smirk. I looked away feeling completely and utterly embarrassed.

“Nope…” he said.

“It’s my brother’s…” he elaborated further…

I nodded to show I understood.

---

I had exited that house one different person from that of which I had gone into the house as. Coming back home was an even longer experience than when I was walking from it. When I was going to Seth’s house, I was dreaming of something that was truly a great dream: a friend that was like me, in a way that you’re only lucky, to have a friend like that.

But now I had more things on my mind. The narrowly escaped encounter with a horrible, ugly mistake I would’ve regretted making for… probably the remainder of my life as a teenager, and then some. I was only two words from saying “I – like to wear diapers, too!”

And what if I did? That’s what was filling my mind. I had pictures, and thoughts, and in a sense: ‘day mares’. I was watching a movie in my head, where I said it, and he began to laugh at me as he explained to me the real reason behind his having a pacifier in his room. He would then laugh at me more, call me a freak, and kick me out of his house with no welcome back.

Then he would call my other best friend, Brian, and tell him that, and then Brian’s brother Daniel. Then every single day in school, and often times after, they would all taunt me, and make fun of me, and bring me to the edge of a mental meltdown as my head practically explodes from the overwhelming sense of guilt, humiliation, depression, rage, confusion, and regret. And that’s how it would be, for the next decade. Things would never be the same.

I was lucky… very, very lucky indeed. I could’ve made such a fool of myself right then and there. These images of me as someone I never want to be, which is an anti-social, constantly depressed, anxious, and enraged teenager, made me feel all-too uneasy.

As much as I tried to convince myself they weren’t real, and how lucky I was, it didn’t work. I WAS lucky… I might not be that lucky again.

I had reached the intersection that I would normally walk down to go to my house… and when I was about to cross the street to go there, I felt something in me just kind of… aching. I didn’t want to go home yet. So instead, I walked the other direction across the intersection. I walked for a small while, contemplating my near-fatal mistake encounter.

I eventually reached a small park, however. It was empty, not a single soul was around. This felt like the place to be… so I walked through it a bit, and found a nice, shady tree to think under.

There was a bench under a tree, so as I sat there, and began to of course further taunt myself over my horrible almost-mistake, constantly battling over myself in my head. On one hand, I almost made a terrible mistake. On the other, I was telling myself it was an encounter that I gladly passed, and shouldn’t worry about it because there isn’t anything to worry about anymore.

But something was still bothering me, even though the calm, quiet isolation in the park had calmed me down some. At first I thought it was over the whole incident… but upon further mental examination, it hit me. All of those thoughts, dreams, and fantasies of me and my best friend having a gleeful time in diapers, had come to a shattering end that was so hard to take I couldn’t breathe.

I felt alone, once again. I felt that dark, disgusting, wretched sense of being alone slithering its way into my soul like a virus, seeping its way into me, slowly hollowing me out with the fact that I am completely by myself on this whole, big deal.

I slowly felt myself getting this weird, sinking sensation. I felt like I was falling, but I knew for a fact I wasn’t. I mean… it felt like I was falling at such a fast pace, I couldn’t figure out which way was up. But incredibly, at the same time, I have never felt so damn grounded in my life. Things looked, and seemed, so clear that it all made sense. But strangely, simultaneously, I felt like I was sinking.

I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t stand the fact that I was completely alone as a diaper-lover here. But then, my hysteria was slowly fading… as I caught myself, when I noticed what I was exactly thinking and doing.

I began to look at myself then and there and see what I was doing. There I was, sitting all alone on a bench in the park, on a cloudy day, thinking over and over about how I almost made a horrible mistake, when I should be thankful that I hadn’t done that mistake. And the whole alone thing… though it was really bringing me down… looking at myself and seeing how depressed I was feeling over it all… there was nothing I could do but just tell myself to get over it.

Being alone as a diaper lover, or teen baby, is a common thing. It takes years for people to find other friends in person that are the same like them, some only meet the people they have met online because there ISNT anyone to meet around them. Maybe I was going to be one of those people… and as that thought grew in my mind, the depression and confusion, and shock from the whole situation was beginning to fade. It had been about a half hour or so that I was sitting there thinking.

And suddenly, I rose up from the bench, suddenly accepting the fact that I’m alone. As little as I wanted to, I had to. I took a look at where I really was, as in my location in the town, not the park. I looked at the street, and noticed something….

I was near the store. I was near that supermarket that I was already at one today. I suddenly felt the want… the need to have them. I guess the whole mental war that was going on, and was still partially going on (I was just more calm about it), made me want to just settle down in my room with a diaper. I walked from the park and continued walking down the street, towards where I knew it would take me. And right then, when I had reached another intersection that would either take me home, or to the store… I felt in my pocket. And there it was… the money I needed. I was set to go. I was completely prepared. The money was in my pocket, the backpack was on my back (because trust me, I bring my backpack with me everywhere… never know when you’re going to have something to pack), and the determination and motivation was in my head. I was set to go.

So with that though… I looked away from the path that would lead me home, and down the path that would lead me to a better place right now: the store with the diapers that I would take home and use because they are what I required to be happy again.

[Baby Jake]

“Chapter Thirteen, Thumbs Up for Change”


My heart was racing, and my veins were burning as if they were pushing fire. I was in that familiar aisle once again. But this time, I was walking out of it. I was walking out of that aisle, not empty handed. I was doing it. I tried to not pay attention as I put the bag of diapers on the counter, waiting for the cashier to ring me up so I can escape that store and go home, putting this whole anxious situation behind me.

“That’ll be 14.99” the lady said to me.

I tried not to look at her face as I handed her the money. I didn’t want to see the look of confusion or shock on her face as she was putting my diapers into the bag.

“Thanks…” I spit out as I took the bag, and put it in my backpack.

She handed me my receipt, and was I was on my way. And then, it began to sink into me. I did it. I just did it! I finally bought myself my first bag of diapers, that are ALL mine! I slowly grew a smile as I exited the store, and walked outside…

It was raining when I had come out of the store, only a little bit though. However, I didn’t care about getting wet… not like I had a choice anyways. I was too damn happy with myself all of the sudden, and I mean… I had every right to, too. I was, yes, very depressed earlier today… but I used that as motivation to conquer a common fear by many diaper lovers and teen babies… and now I was bringing home my own, self-purchased bag of teen-sized diapers to wear, and use to my heart’s content. I was definitely satisfied with myself, and with what the day had for me.

It was only a few minutes of me walking in the rain, before I got home, only a bit damp from the soft rainfall. I announced that I was home to my mother, and proceeded to my room, very eager.

I shut the door, and locked it, while simultaneously tossing my backpack onto my bed. I smiled gleefully as I walked over to my bed, knowing a pack of my own self-purchased diapers were awaiting me. I slowly picked my backpack up… and unzipped it, and let the store-bag drop onto my bed, with a ‘thump’. I reached in, and pulled them out… the diapers, of course. I didn’t open the bag yet though.

I was busy glaring at the package… feeling the latex-like material that wrapped the individual diapers together. I squeezed it a bit, just to assure myself that there really were diapers inside there.

My passion for them grew every day. Ever since that day in Brian’s bathroom, that seemed liked years ago (but was in reality, only several weeks ago), my need for diapers had grown stronger and stronger. Starting weak at first, with indescribable feelings and erections that seemed mysterious, but gradually transitioning to more incredible feelings that seemed all the more mysterious, yet at the same time… so right. And by now, it wasn’t just about the want to masturbate. They were more than just something to assist me in getting off… they seemed like something that has been missing in my life for so long, and I wasn’t even aware. They seemed like, and felt like; a missing puzzle piece that I wasn’t aware was lost… but once was there, you can see the whole picture. The puzzle felt complete, were as before, it only seemed like it was.

Though the origin of these feelings were unknown… I wasn’t concerned about the source. It was just strange, because the sheer feeling these gave me… I wish I could describe it. Its like… its like when I’m in a diaper… something comes over me. A sense of calm, peace, and comfort, sweeps over me. And these feelings come from inside of me… deep inside of me. I know they do…

I stopped contemplating, for the fact that I now had calm in my hands, made me too eager to care anymore. I tore open the bag, and slowly (quietly) pulled a diaper out. I laid myself onto my bed, taking my damp rain-covered pants off, and let them drop to the floor. I then pulled my boxers down, to my knees, so I was now in the changing position half naked. It got me slightly aroused… I felt myself growing a slight erection, as expected.

However my intentions were not to masturbate… not yet anyways. I felt the need to really enjoy my diaper longer. I took a diaper from the package, unfolded it, and slid it under my butt. I pulled the front over my stomach, and taped it together tightly around me. It felt secure, and so did I…

I sat up as it crinkled underneath me. For the first time in a long while I felt great joy… Sure, I’ve felt happy in the past month, of course. But this was bliss, as wearing a diaper always was to me.

I stood from the bed, only to sit down again, only this time in my computer chair. I moved the mouse to deactivate the screensaver, and was humbly greeted by a few messages left for me to read. They were by fellow diaper lovers and teen babies also. There were only about 3 messages… I added the users that messaged me, and looked for my best friend online.

---

“Hey” I typed.

“Oh hey man” I saw Lukie reply.

“What’s up man?” I typed.

“Oh same old, same old… you?” he replied.

“Sittin’ around in a diaper” I typed.

“Oh! You got them finally?” he typed back.

“Yes, finally. I got a bit of a burst of… motivation.” I said, choosing to avoid the complex explanation as to why I got that motivation.

“I see… well. Its good you got some finally. How’s it feel to be in a didee again?” he typed.

“Feels good =P” I typed.

“Haha…” he replied.

“You wet yet?” he asked.

“No, not yet, I just put this thing on” I explained.

“Oh, I see…” he replied.

“What about you? You wearing at all lately?” I asked.

“Nah… I haven’t had the free time as of late. Been busy as hell” he typed.

“Yeah? That’s weird man… why’s everyone so busy? I guess it’s because of the 4th rolling around soon” I typed.

“Hmmm? What do you mean?” he asked.

“Oh, I just think it’s weird. Your busy, my friend Brian and his brother Daniel are busy, etc.” I typed.

“Aye… that is a bit peculiar. I’ve been doing just random stuff. Mom and Dad have been dragging me all over the place nonstop, been arranging stuff for the upcoming holiday… I’ve just been a more outgoing person than usual” he explained.

“Yeah… I can see that…” I said.

“What about you? Hang out with that Seth kid today?” he asked.

I looked at his text and the whole day flashed back to me, in an instant. I wasn’t fazed by the whole thing anymore… I had pretty much gotten over it… to a point. I was yes, still very disappointed, but now that I was in a diaper and was talking to one like me, I wasn’t feeling as lonely anymore.

“Yeah, I was with him earlier today” I admitted.

“Oh? How’d that whole pacifier thing turn out?” he innocently asked.

“Eh… honestly… pretty embarrassingly” I admitted.

“Hmmm? Why’s that?” he asked.

“Well… turns out it wasn’t his pacifier. It was his brother’s. And since Seth isn’t stupid, he obviously knew I was thinking it was his. But he was cool about it… either that or I was just that embarrassed looking. Either way, I felt like a dumbass” I admitted.

“lol… sorry. I just find the way you put the end there a bit amusing. Well that sucks man; I thought you had a TB friend, too. Sorry it didn’t turn out that way” he said.

“Yeah… it’s alright. Guess I’ll just have to deal” I said.

“*nods*” was his reply.

“I wasn’t taking it as well about an hour ago as I am now” I hinted.

“Hmmm? Why, what was up?” he asked.

“Oh… nothing was going on. I guess the immense disappointment and the embarrassment, and the sudden break-back to being alone here as a TB/DL, made my head go on meltdown status for a few minutes” I explained.

“Wow. Yeah, I guess that’d happen” he said.

“MmmmHmmm…” I replied.

“Well at least you’re diapered now and happy” he typed.

“Yup” I concurred.

“Hehe…” he typed.

“Happy… and wet, too!” I typed.

And I wasn’t exactly lying.

Somewhere during our conversation, I had wet my diaper… well… flooded more like it. I squeezed the front of my diaper and felt the squishiness of it, and the warmth. I felt my erection making a very quick return… and this time I felt I couldn’t resist but to take care of it vigorously.

“Hehe… wet your diaper huh? When you going to change?” he asked me.

“I might right now actually… it’s gonna leak” I typed.

I was of course lying, but I wasn’t going to type “I have a huge erection right now. I am incredibly aroused and I feel if I don’t masturbate my dick will explode”

“brb” I typed.

“lol, okay” he typed back.

I stood up from my chair, only to lay myself back down back onto my bed. I felt the outside of my diaper again… and I could feel bulge from my erection. I slowly, but hard, rubbed the outside of my wet diaper, which was also rubbing hard against my erection, feeling pretty damn good.

It was a few minutes before I couldn’t take it anymore though. I tore the tapes from my diaper, and unfolded the front down. I gripped my penis and began to slowly pump, but that slow quickly began to grow in speed. I tried my hardest not to moan or make noises, since I of course, didn’t want my mom to hear.

The waves of pleasure washed over me in the forms of a strange heat sensation. It was difficult to explain… but I’m pretty sure you know exactly what I mean. I stopped for only a minute, but only so I could spit into the palm of my hand… and then I continued to masturbate, now more vigorously.

Now I was feeling the waves of pleasure shoot through my body, the wetness of my spit lubricating my erection as I was pumping it with a tight grip. I was really feeling… well… horny. But it was during this time and during this session that I did something I’d have never imagined myself doing.

We all know when you are in this much ecstasy, your body and mind craves more. Your mind is only focused on reaching that orgasm, and will often to do something stupid or unexpected when you’re… “distracted” like I was now.

As I was masturbating vigorously with my hand, something compelled me to take my remaining hand, and take the thumb… and put it in my mouth. Of course I thought of it weird at first, but I didn’t care. I took my thumb and began sucking on it.

And it continued to, for another few minutes until I finally began to reach my climax. As my load was finally shooting out a bit, I began to realize that the thumb in my mouth was honestly the only thing keeping me from grunting and moaning loud enough for my mom to hear it a few rooms over.

But after a few moments I stopped… my ‘session’ was over with, and now I was left there, lying in my bed with that tingling sensation all over. And as my head began to clear I was left there wondering why I had my thumb in my mouth.

---

I slowly stopped sucking on it, and took it out of my mouth with a feeling of confusion. I wasn’t upset; I wasn’t feeling that guilty feeling like I did when I first masturbated doing something different… I was just confused.

The crazy part was next… As my mind kind of reset itself after my after-orgasm-shock went away, and my mind had cleared… I wanted to continue sucking my thumb. It was calling to me… so I answered. I took my thumb and placed it back into my mouth, and began sucking… and an immense sensation came over me like a tidal wave. It wasn’t arousal, of course. It was comfort. It was an incredible wave of comfort, and a sense of safety that just came over me like a blanket.

I wanted to keep doing it. This feeling was like a calling from deep within my mind… that thing that called for me to wear, and wet my diapers… it was calling for me suck my thumb.

“What does this mean?” I wondered as I began to more contently suck my thumb.

“I guess this means… I’m…” I began to think…

“…a teen baby”

---

This was of course no problem. I have no problems with the teen baby, or the adult baby, community that I’ve neighbored with as a diaper-lover. But to think I was actually one was just so… weird. I wouldn’t even think that I was one… the thought of being babied; being regressed forever… it just seemed unappealing.

But then again, I never really gave it much thought… and I guess the thumb in my mouth made me kind of blur the line between being a diaper-lover and a teen baby. I was confused, yes, but at the same time, so damn calm from this soothing sensation that my thumb was providing me.

I took my thumb from my mouth, and slowly sat up. I had things to do; I couldn’t just sit here thinking for an hour. I had a very wet diaper lying there, and a hand to wash. I looked at my thumb one last time… but put my hand down and proceeded to clean my room and myself up after only a moment.

---

“Luke I’ve got a question” I typed.

“What?” he replied.

“How did you know you were a teen baby?” I asked.

“Hmmm… good question” he replied to me.

“Alright… I don’t know how exactly I knew I was one. It was something that was kind of always there. When I was about… hmmm… 12, last year, I kind of began to get a bit turned on by babyish traits and things. It’s difficult to explain. I always wanted to be in a diaper again and be sucking on a pacifier and things like that. Then eventually they kind of evolved into a some-what fetish. But as I began to read about others like myself, and act upon these feelings (rather than masturbating, I had gone out and bought a pacifier and things like that), the less they aroused me at times. It’s really hard to explain man. The feelings always were.” He typed.

“Ah…” I typed.

“Why is it you asked?” he asked me.

“…I think I am one” I admitted.

“Oh! Why do you think that?” he asked.

I explained to him the whole thumb-sucking thing.

“Ah… I see… that IS kind of a clue. I don’t know what to tell you. Just if it comforts you, keep acting” he said.

“Yeah… the more I act on the feelings, the more things I discover about myself. First it was diaper-wearing, then diaper-masturbating, then diaper-wetting, now thumb sucking…” I said.

“Heh… I don’t know what to say man.” He said.

Suddenly there was a ringing sound coming from next to me. It was the phone and it also pretty much broke me from my trance you get in when you’re on the computer for too long.

“Oh, hold on. Phone’s ringing” I typed.

---

“Hello?” I asked, putting the phone up to my face.

“Hey Aden” I heard. It was Brian!

“Oh hey man!” I contently said.

“What’s up?” he asked, just as happily.

“Nothing much at all man… just been sitting here bored. Where have you two been lately?” I asked.

“Huh? Oh, me and Daniel. We’ve been places. We’re always going places around this time. My dad takes us camping in a few places around this time each year” he explained.

“Oh. Yeah, that’s cool I suppose. I’ve been hanging with Seth for a little while here” I explained.

“Yeah, I was just talking to him. We just got back a few hours ago from camp” he explained to me.

“I see…” I said.

“But yeah. He was telling me you and him were talking about coming here for the fourth of July?” he said.

“Yes, he brought it up. How’s it sound?” I asked.

“Oh it sounds great. I really don’t think there’ll be any problem with that, either… so if you can get permission from your mom, I see no problem with that” I heard him tell me.

A smile crept over my face.

“Awesome dude” I said.

“Yeah?” He said.

“Yeah…” I said back.

[Baby Jake]

“Chapter Fourteen, A Familiar Melody (ext-d.)”


“Hey baby” I heard.

I let out a kind of whimper, but not one of sadness, as my eyes slowly creaked open. There was sunlight that was flooding the room, illuminating every corner. I looked up, and there was my mommy, standing over me with a sweet smile. I smiled back, and she giggled…

She slowly reached for me, and picked me up effortlessly, out of my crib, and across the room, and finally laid me down on my changing table.

“Are you wet? You wet your diapee?” she said.

I of course contently giggled at the silliness of the word diapee. I also of course knew it was just a saying for diaper.

She took her index finger, and quickly slipped it down the front of my exposed diaper.

“Yeah you’re wet! You need a change!” she giggled.

She laid me down (since I was pretty much in the sitting position before), onto my back. I had gone through this so many times… she began to open my diaper by tearing the tapes from the front, and folded it down, exposing me completely.

Then, she began to slowly sing a song as she reached for a baby wipe and a fresh diaper from the shelve built into the table. She picked my legs up, and wiped by butt once or twice (I had apparently messed my diaper in my sleep, too…) and laid my legs back down. Then finally, she wiped the front of my diaper area, and eventually tossed the used wipes and the used diaper away into a trashcan.

Then finally, she took the baby powder and put some into her hand, and she rubbed it all over my diaper-area… all over my butt and on my front, too. And finally, she took a clean diaper, lifted my legs up one last time, and put the fresh diaper underneath me. She pulled the front over, and taped it very securely, leaving me laying there with her singing me a song, in a fresh diaper, as content as could be.

“I bet you’re hungry huh Aden? We’ll get you you’re bah-bah, okay? You want your bah-bah?” she jokingly asked me, chuckling.

I laughed and giggled, as she picked me up once more. I put my thumb into my mouth and began to suck contently, as she began to carry me out of my nursery, and into the kitchen…

---

Suddenly everything changed. The whole situation… my mother holding me so carefully in her arms had faded. Everything had faded and I was suddenly finding myself in my room (my current room) with my eyes shut, and a blanket over me. I had been dreaming once again… that same, yet always-different, dream of me being cared for by my mom, and me as an infant. It was once again so damn clear and realistic it almost seemed as though it wasn’t a dream at all.

I opened my eyes, sighed (which eventually turned into a yawn), stretched and cracked every bone in my body… same old deal. I laid in my bed for a few more minutes, before finally sitting up, and letting reality sink in for a few moments. Finally, I eventually stood up and walked out of my room, and into the kitchen.

It was daylight… and the clock on the wall of my kitchen told me it was still pretty early (some time around 9AM). I figured my mom was already at work, so I prepared myself a breakfast with the dream still stuck into my head.

The visions of my mom standing over me… her singing that song… that song… that song was so familiar. I heard it somewhere before. Remembering it brought that feeling I had in the dream, which was the feeling I got when wearing a diaper and sucking my thumb…

Then it hit me.

It was my mother’s song. It was my song. It was our song. It was the song she’d sing to me every time she was changing my diaper, or putting me to sleep… or giving me a bath. It was our song! She’d sing it, or hum it softly… And now that I heard it… again… it hit a chord. Suddenly, right there in the kitchen… as I was getting myself some cereal… I suddenly felt something in my chest just simply got hot, and I felt myself get tears in my eyes.

I sniffed once… and felt my eyes swell up with tears. I gasped for air as I gently placed the bowl and cereal on the table, and then sat down… as I felt myself beginning to gently cry. Something about the song, the dream… everything… it was all too hard and something had snapped. And before I knew it, I was sitting at that kitchen table with my face in my hands, crying unstoppably.

“Why!?” I said to myself, breathing heavily as tears rolled down my face.

“Why am I crying!?” I said to myself. I whimpered once, and twice, and a third time…

It was about five minutes before I could even begin to settle down. Something deep down in me hurt… something in me was aching so bad it made me cry hysterically, right there in my kitchen. My mom’s and my song was stuck in my head, that was just continuously striking a nerve that caused so much aching I couldn’t stop crying.

But the tears eventually, after a slow transition from hysterical to some-what under control, faded and dried, and I was left there to eat my cereal completely confused. I felt the ache still… and suddenly I really, really missed my mom. At that moment, I wanted nothing more to see her walk through that doorway, pick me up, and continue singing that song…

But I knew better. I knew the hard truth that that won’t happen. I was 13 years old, not an infant anymore. I was a young teenager, not the cute, giddy, and giggly baby I was… I was growing up. I wasn’t supposed to wear diapers anymore. Sucking my thumb should be something I’ve gotten long over. And my mom would definitely not sing me our song anymore… at least not with me in her arms like I wanted.

I miserably ate my breakfast, and went back into my room. I wanted to put a diaper on, but I was honestly too miserable at that moment to really put the effort in putting one on. I just sat down in my computer chair, and went online, ignoring the dark feelings of depression, misery, and loneliness that were lingering in my mind.

And that’s what I did, all morning long.

---

I was reading some article on something, when suddenly my phone rang. It was about 12PM now, so I automatically assumed it was Brian, or Seth. The feelings of loneliness, depression, and misery were still present, but only just. I picked up, and asked who it was.

“Hey Aden” I heard. It was Brian’s voice, and he was as chipper as ever…

“Oh. Hey man” I replied, with a kind of austere tone.

“Not much… sitting around with Seth and Daniel” he said.

“Cool…” I said in a kind of grave tone.

I was doing automatically, and honestly didn’t even realize that I was sounding so miserable… but apparently he did.

“Everything alright Aden?” he asked.

I contemplated for a moment…

“Eh… honestly man… yeah… everything’s alright but I’m just feeling really shitty…” I admitted, guilty as charged.

“Oh… how come man?” he asked me.

I of course wasn’t going to answer that with the truth. I wasn’t going to say “I miss my mommy” like I really was…

“Dunno… bad dreams stuck in my head” I said.

“Oh…” Brian said.

“…Well… you want us to come over? Maybe we can cheer you up” Brian offered.

I looked around… and the dismally quiet house I was contained in really made me feel horrible.

“Yeah… yeah that’d be nice” I admitted.

“Yeah?” Brian confirmed…

“Yeah man, come on over. Bring whoever you want, I’ll be here…” I said.

“Alright man, you just hold up. We’ll be there in a few minutes, okay?” he said.

“Okay…” I said.

And with that, we both hung up the phone, and now I was once again still feeling depressed. But I had a ray of hope kind of shining through the darkness, knowing that I had my best friends in the world coming to visit me to try to cheer me up… I felt touched.

---

It was, just like Brian had said over the phone, a few minutes before I heard a car stop in front of my house, and a ring at the doorbell. I more like hovered to the door, and opened it.

“Hey man” I heard.

I looked up, and there was Brian, Seth, and Daniel, standing at my door. The car that was in park outside my house slowly began to accelerate off as they saw that I had answered the door.

“Come on in” I said, trying to sound not as depressed as I really was.

They all came in, and as they all came in, Brian stopped in front of me.

“You alright Ade’?” he asked.

I nodded my head yes, but I could tell my eyes had a look of uncertainty. He nodded his head, showing off he wouldn’t take that as a correct answer. He bent his index finger at move (you know… that signal to follow), and walked towards my room.

I sheepishly followed him, unsure of what his plans were.

“Oh, uh… you can turn the TV. My mom’s not home, so you can make yourselves at home” I said as I followed Brian.

“Alright, thanks” they both said to me as they sat on my couch, and turned on the TV…

I followed Brian until we were standing next to my room.

“Am I allowed in?” he asked me.

I thought for a moment… there were no diapers out in the open…

“Yeah” I said.

He opened the door, and we both proceeded into my room, and then he shut the door behind him, leaving only Brian and I alone in my room. I was unsure why he led me here… but I wasn’t arguing.

“What’s a matter?” he asked me.

I sat down at my computer chair, and made a hand gesture to Brian, telling him he was allowed to sit wherever.

“I told you man… just had some dreams that are stuck in my head that are depressing me” I said.

“Dreams huh?” he said.

“Yeah…” I replied.

“You want to tell me about them or no?” he asked.

I looked at him…

“They’re too difficult to really explain. Too vague, but just one or two elements in them are really just beating me up” I lied.

“Oh… okay” he said.

I nodded…

“Well man… I’d really appreciate if you talked to me about it… I think it’d make you feel better and it’d make you and I get closer as friends” he said.

I shrugged…

“There’s honestly not much to explain” I said.

“Okay…” he said.

I could tell he really wanted to get close with me on the friendly level. I was touched once again. I felt helpless, even though Brian was there willing to hear anything I was willing to say to him. But what was I going to say to him? I’m a diaper-lover… or teen baby… one of them… and those were the kinds of problems I was dealing with.

He simply wouldn’t be able to help me. He probably would even get freaked out, and leave the room. I mean… I really wish I could’ve taken him up on his offer to help me… I’d have loved to tell him everything. The diapers, the thumb sucking, the song, the dream, the sudden want to see my mom but unable to do it… but it simply was too awkward. And he certainly said he wasn’t a diaper-lover… so he says… so… it was just a problem I couldn’t talk to him about.

So rather than taking him up on his offer to help make me feeling emotionally better… I just nodded and left it at that.

“Okay” he said understandingly.

“Brian…” I said morbidly.

“I really appreciate you being here. And I’m not trying to push you away, I really enjoy your efforts… you’ve taken me to a private spot, one-on-one and tried to have this conversation and I really, really do thank you for this but… I really can’t explain it right now. It’s all too complex for me to even understand. But I’ll be fine in a few hours… just… when this shit stops going on in my head.” I explained.

He shook his head understandingly.

“So… thanks… there’s nothing to worry about though…” I assured, standing up, sighing.

“Okay… and really… no need to thank me Aden” he said.

I looked over at him.

“What are friends for?” he said.

I smiled, and nodded my head, and opened my door. We both walked out and into the living room, and we both sat down on the couch, since Daniel was sitting in a chair. We all began to watch TV… and in short time… I did indeed begin to feel better. Although there was that depression that though was fading way, was always lingering in the back of my mind. But I was very fortunate to have my friends over… because they really did start to make me feel better.

---

[ext]

“So you’ve been camping all this time, you two?” Seth asked.

“Yeah, we go every year.” Brian explained.

“Yeah, my dad has been bring Brian and I up to this little portion of land my grandfather owns, see we were like five” Daniel explained.

“Oh, that’s cool. What do you three do normally?” I asked.

“Us four… my grand pop comes up sometimes. We just generally go hiking, camping… fishing and stuff like that. He has a cabin and stuff” Brian explained.

“Oh that’s cool…” I said.

We were all socializing and basically being good friends again. It was fun…

“Yeah man… we’ve had some good times. There’s a lake and stuff that we swim at sometimes” Daniel explained.

I and Seth nodded understandingly.

“Who knows? Maybe you two can come along with us if we go up again” Brian said.

“Thanks man, that’ll be fun” Seth said.

Daniel and Brian nodded.

I took a sip of the Pepsi I had poured myself a few minutes earlier, as Seth began to talk.

“That’s cool that you two go up to your cabin with your dad and grandpa like that. I take it you two are pretty close with them?” Seth said.

“Yeah… we talk a lot during those times. Kind of builds that general male-to-male bonding thing, you know?” Brian began…

“Yeah… but I’ve never really spent a whole lot of time with my dad and I feel I can relate to him a lot” Seth said.

I sat back in my seat just listening in on the conversation, not really paying a whole lot attention to the subject.

“I feel there’s like a weird sense you need in your life, with you and your dad. I can’t really imagine living without a father… can’t really imagine what it’d be like, you know? Having that strange space that your mom just entirely fills” Seth said.

This began to catch my attention a bit… I of course, was idle in the conversation now… and acted as though I wasn’t really caring. But I was getting a bit more interested… after all, I… didn’t have a father. And I’d like to hear where this was going…

“Yeah man… my dad and his dad really bonded through camping and stuff and I think that’s what my dad’s trying to build with Brian and me” Daniel explained.

I continued to listen…

“I really can’t imagine what it’d be like to not have a father…” Brian said.

I felt the need to reveal myself here, before someone said something bad. I did a fake cough, and they all looked at me, since I did that kind of fake cough that you could tell was fake.

“….OH. Dude! I’m so sorry!” Brian said, looking very sincere and embarrassed, and everyone else said the same.

“Nah… I don’t really care” I said.

“Okay… but I really am sorry. I wasn’t thinking” Seth said.

I shrugged.

“Seriously, don’t worry about it. I don’t care” I insisted.

“Okay…” They all said.

But the room was silent now. The once speech-filled room was silent, because of everyone’s embarrassment because of me. I felt a bit embarrassed for killing it…

“…Aden…” Brian spoke sheepishly.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“…I don’t want to seem rude. And I don’t want to speak about things that may make you feel uncomfortable, or you may feel isn’t my business… but do you mind if I ask you a question?” he said sheepishly.

I knew what he was going to ask…

“You want to know about my dad?” I asked.

He nodded.

“Brian, dude. That’s ****ed” Daniel said.

“No, its fine. I don’t really care, like I said. I can talk about it” I explained.

“My dad… I never really met him. He lives in my old town, and according to my mom, he left when I was a still a baby” I explained.

“Oh… that’s horrible” Brian said.

I shrugged.

“From what I was told, he and my mother were actually husband and wife of course; it wasn’t like my mom got knocked up on some one-night stand.” I explained…

“But one day, he just got up and left. This is what I was told. My mom and my dad had a fight, and then, the next morning, he was gone. My mom was left to raise a child, me, by herself.” I explained.

“That’s ****ed” I heard Seth say.

“Yeah… but I’m fine. He still lives in my old town, and my mom has seen him. She has nothing to say to him. Neither do I.” I explained.

“Well… that’s messed up, but at least you aren’t that bothered by the whole matter…” Seth said.

I nodded, agreeing with them. Brian coughed, though…

“Anyways!” he said, insinuating he wanted to get off of the subject.

[/ext]

---

“So how about that sleepover at our house?” Brian said, changing the subject from what it was before.

“Yeah man… I can’t wait for that” I said.

“The 4th is in two days” Brian reminded.

“I’m all for it. All I have to do is ask my mom” I said.

“That’s cool… you think she’ll let you?” Brian asked.

“I’m absolutely positive she will” I assured.

“Awesome. This’ll be sweet, having you two sleepover. We can do all kinds of stuff! We can go to the park, and watch the fireworks and stuff, then come home, and maybe watch some movies, or… do dares…” Brian said.

“Ahhh yes… the dares” Seth said.

“Those were fun. But I don’t know many, they just kind of lost their charm” I said.

Brian looked fairly eager to do them. I looked over at him… as we were discussing the dares for the first time in a month. He still was interested… and I was almost too, but I mean… even I, a diaper-lover (and possible teen-baby) was getting bored with them – and that is a reason for concern. But of course… Brian, the self-proclaimed non-diaper-lover, still wants to do them.

I kind of let a small smirk carry across my face as I looked at Brian. I mean… It was so damn obvious. It was so obvious to me he was a diaper-lover… even if he was unaware of it. Then it occurred to me… maybe he WASN’T aware of it! Maybe Brian, really did enjoy being in diapers, but was unaware of what a diaper-lover was like I was for the first few weeks!

This thought had occurred to me, and I guess I was smirking noticeably because suddenly, Brian pointed it out.

“What’s up Aden?” he asked, knocking me from my trance.

“Huh? Oh nothing… just remembered the dares and stuff, since you mentioned them. They were fun…” I said.

“Yeah… yeah they were pretty good times. And you’re the one that had the biggest problem with them” Brian said laughing.

“Hey… I did too” Seth said, defending me a bit.

“Well, since they got old… I got a few ideas… I thought of a few things to help make them more exciting or more difficult” Brian said.

“Oh? What would that be?” I curiously asked.

He let a devious smile out at me and the room.

“I ain’t telling” he said.

This shocked me a bit. I wasn’t prepared for that response… and now… I was really curious.

“C’mon man” I pried.

“Nope, I ain’t telling. Its gonna be a surprise” he said with a devious smile.

As much as I wanted to know… I at the same time wanted there to be a surprise. But I wondered… what could he possibly have up his sleeve for the 4th of July? I was damn curious now… I was fascinated, while at the same time, kind of nervous to hear what Brian might do to his brother, Seth, and I.

But even though I wanted to know… I wasn’t going to be stubborn. I was going to let Brian have his little fun, and I’ll play along.

“Alright” I said with a confident smile back.

There was a silence in the room after I had said that… kind of an uncomfortable silence.

“…so how about that fireworks display!” Seth said, breaking the silence intentionally.

“Yeah, yeah – that fireworks display at the park, they hold it every year here as you might expect… They got all kinds of fireworks, ones that go boom… usually ones you have to light… ones that make some form of an explosion in the sky” Daniel ranted on sarcastically.

“Let me guess, some are different colors then others?” Seth sarcastically replied with a smile.

“You’re correct young sir.” Daniel replied just as sarcastically.

We all laughed.

“Nah, for real… what’s going down with that?” Seth asked.

“Alright… if I’m not mistaken… we should all drive up, and arrive at like… 8:30, maybe, ‘cus that gives us an hour before the sun is all the way down. We can do whatever at the little festival they always have there, then when the sun is pretty far down, they’ll start shooting stuff off until probably 11PM. Then we can come back to my house, we can do dares or whatever we want… and basically do whatever till tomorrow” Brian explained.

“Festival huh?” I intriguingly said.

“Yes. They have all kinds of stands with games with prizes and stuff” Brian said.

“Yeah… sounds a lot like what my old town used to do” I said.

“Welp… sounds fun guys” Seth said.

“Yeah, sounds fun” I agreed.

“Well I don’t know about you two, or you Daniel… but I’m in the mood for some ice cream. Anyone want to walk down to the ice-cream shop and get something?” Brian asked.

I felt around in my pocket… these were the same pants I was wearing yesterday when I went to buy the diapers. It still had my change in it.

“I’ve got money” I said.

“I brought some” Seth said.

“Yeah… me too” Daniel said, feeling around in his pocket.

“Alright… so you guys want to go there then?” Brian confirmed.

“Yeah” we all concurred.

“Sweet… alright, well… let’s go then!” Brian excitedly said.

It was a much longer trek then originally planned, or than it was the first time I had gone there, when I was on my bike with Seth. But, in time, we of course arrived, talking all the way there.

We ate our ice-cream, and eventually came back to my house. By then, I was all cheered up and was happy. The depression from earlier that day had vanished, and I was as happy as ever as I was hanging out with my friends. But of course, they had to leave in time. It was many hours before they had to leave though, and by the time they did… it was almost dusk.

---

“Alright, see you guys” I said, waving them off as Brian and Daniel went into their mom’s car, and Seth was walking home.

“Cya Aden” they all said as they left.

I watched all three of them vanish from my site. The street light all popped on as the sun was low enough, making what I could see of Seth, a black silhouette in the distance. I smiled as the day all came into memory, and walked back inside of my house, filled with hope for the 4th of July.

And as I was thinking of what the sleepover we’ve planned would be like… what Brian said to me all came back into memory. About what he said about he has some fresh ideas, and that it’s a surprise. I was still very curious… but as I wondered, with this time and silence to myself… I became more and more curious, as ideas flooded my mind.

I wondered what it could possibly be. Was it something to do with diapers? If so… what could possibly be so much more different then the ones we were already doing? But then again… maybe they had nothing to do with diapers at all. Maybe it was something completely new… something totally fresh. My attempts to bring those to mind were going no where.

I shrugged it off. I knew it was inevitable and my trying to break Brian’s surprise was getting me no where. So instead… I just kind of laid there, thinking of random things.

“Man… Brian, Daniel, and Seth are such good friends” I thought.

“I mean… they came all the way over here just to cheer me up…” I remembered.

“I can’t wait for Monday…” I said to myself. Monday, was the Fourth of July.

[Baby Jake]

“Chapter Fifteen (Part I), The Night of Anticipation (Getting the Goods)“


“Happy 4th of July” I read.

“Hey thanks Luke, you too” I typed.

That had been the first happy 4th I had received all day… however the all day part was only about five minutes long. I had just woke up, (about five minutes ago). My day had just begun… And it was finally the 4th of July.

“What’ve you got planned for tonight?” I read.

“Oh you know… The sleepover at Brian’s and Daniel’s with Seth is bound to be fun as hell” I explained.

“Ah yes… any other plans, maybe you and your mom doing something?” Luke typed to me.

I thought for a moment…

“She and I are supposed to go to the park for a bit and watch the fireworks display. That’s when I’m getting picked up by Brian’s mom” I explained.

“Oh, that’s cool” I read.

“So you’re going to go there, watch and hang out with your mom for a bit… then after words just go to Brian’s house?” he checked.

“Yes” I confirmed.

“That’s cool…” he said.

“So what are YOU going to be doing tonight?” I asked him.

“Oh nothing much… My family is coming over and we’re going to have a barbeque… We will be able to see the fireworks from our backyard like we’re actually there. I guess we technically actually are there in person… considering the baseball field they are shooting them from is only a block away” he explained.

“lol yeah” I typed.

“You have any baby plans for tonight?” I asked.

“Hmmm…” I read.

“Well… I might not have any time.” I read.

“Oh” I said.

“Yeah… If I could I would” I saw him reply.

“Heh” I typed.

“Speaking of babyish things and such… how’s that whole situation you’ve been dealing with, thinking you might be a teen baby?” I saw him say.

“Hmmm… it’s been like three days since then… I’ve gotten on this strong thumb sucking kick” I replied.

“Oh? Widdle Baby Aden a thumbthucker?” I read.

This made me blush a bit… I wasn’t used to being babyishly talked to… and certainly wasn’t used to being called Baby Aden… well… not recently anyways.

“Hehe… I suppose so” I typed.

“You should get a pacifier or something. Those things rock” I saw Luke type to me.

“Hmmm… I never actually ever thought about buying one” I said.

“Oh they are very nice… I love my pacifier.” Luke typed back to me.

“I dunno man… I’m too used to just worrying about buying diapers for myself. If I have teen baby feelings… it kind of complicates things. I already have problems buying diapers, hiding them, disposing of them unnoticeably…” I ranted.

“Well man, you don’t need to buy anything babyish to be babyish. I went a little while at first when I was absorbing what I was without sucking on a pacifier. I just decided to buy one at one point” he replied.

“*nods*” I typed.

“But um… yeah. I have to go for now. My mom is yelling at me for being on the computer” he typed to me.

“Oh, okay” I replied.

“Later man” he said.

And with that, he logged off. It was just me in my haggard and groggy state of mind. All of my senses were still waking up, but by now, they were more awake then not, since I had been talking with Luke online.

I stood up, stretched, cracked some joints, and continued out of my room. I slowly, almost zombie-like, walked through the halls and into my kitchen.

“Hi Aden” I heard. It was my mom.

“Hey mom…” I said as I hovered over to the kitchen table.

“You want some breakfast?” she asked me as I sat down lazily into my chair.

“Sure” I said as I rested my head on the table.

“Okay Aden, hang on a sec’ and I’ll get you something to eat, okay?” she told me.

I moaned something that even I didn’t know what I said. She chuckled and I heard some dishes clanging, I heard the fridge opening and shutting, the sound of cereal pouring into a bowl, and some pouring clanging (the sound of a spoon hitting the side of a bowl), and finally, the sound of a fridge door opening and shutting again. Then finally, the bowl of cereal was placed right in front of me. I looked up.

“Mmmm… Cinnamon Toast Crunch.” I thought.

“Thanks” I said.

“No problem Aden” she said, patting me on the head.

She walked away from me, but not out of the room. She remained and continued to do the dishes like she was doing originally when I had entered the room.

I stuck a spoonful of the sugar coated, artificially cinnamon flavored, one inch by one inch squares of tasty deliciousness into my mouth, wondering what my future held for me for the day to come.

“So are you excited for the sleepover tonight?” my mom asked me.

“Sure am” I said.

“What are you guys going to do tonight?” she asked.

“Oh you know… sit back, watch movies and stuff. I haven’t seen Brian or Daniel in a while, they’ve been camping with their dad” I explained.

“That sounds fun” she replied.

I of course could not tell her what was really on the night’s agenda, for two reasons. One is common sense… I of course wasn’t going to tell her that I was going to run around in diapers (maybe). And the second was… even if I wanted to tell her… I still didn’t know what Brian’s plans were for us for tonight.

---

I ate my cereal, and drank the milk, too, in about ten minutes. My mom and I talked about a few things in the meantime, but I eventually retreated to my room, as usual. I sat down on my computer, and went onto the forums I normally visited every day, to check up on any recent posts.

There was the expected ‘Happy Fourth of July!!!’ post. I replied to that, and replied to a few others of interest. Nothing out of the ordinary… But suddenly, right when I had hit the ‘X (close)’ button on my browser, my phone began to ring.

I coughed, and cleared my throat, reached over, and picked it up…

“Hello?” I asked.

“Hey Aden, its Brian” I heard on the other line.

“Oh hey man” I said.

“What are you up to?” I heard.

“Not much… woke up like a half-hour ago” I said.

“Ha-ha… I’ve been up. Daniel and I woke up bright and early as