Bought diapers today. Minor story, felt like sharing.
by, 31-Dec-2014 at 05:03 (284 Views)
So I don't buy diapers often. Even when the opportunity arises, I don't always seize it. Kinda have to be in a certain mood for it. This is my 4th time in nearly 2 years (I don't go through diapers very fast). I usually alternate between Goodnites and Depends, since I can only buy from Walmart.
Now, I have a kind of specific way of getting diapers. I'm pretty paranoid about buying them, though its gotten easier every time. What I do is go in late, when few people are there. The last 2 times I bought diapers, I went after closing the store at my job (I work at Jimmy John's), which is what I did tonight. I used a reusable grocery bag to hide them, and put the UPC label facing out so I could scan the pack without taking it out of the bag. I went to the self-checkout, bought and paid for the diapers, and started leaving. This is where tings got... kinda scary. I'm pretty sure the clerk overseeing self-checkout has a record of all ongoing transactions on their computer, so I intentionally act pretty embarrassed (though you'd only notice if you were paying attention- things like moving fast, making no eye contact, etc.). Noone was watching there tonight, but it still kinda went downhill. Another store employee saw this, and went over to check my bag after I checked out to make sure I wasn't stealing anything. I anticipated this, but hoped it would never happen. The guy asked for my receipt, I showed it to him, and he pretty much immediately understood (once again, acting nervous and embarrassed, but with less acting this time), so he just let me go without any further investigation. The only other close call I've had was last time- I was scouting out the store late at night to find some Goodnites, though I ran into a problem- a bunch of guys I knew were there. I intentionally made it seem awkward when they asked why I was there ("What are you doing here this late?" "Oh, nothing, uh, nothing at all..."), but it wasn't too bad (mainly because I wasn't even buying yet)
Now comes the fun part- getting the diapers past my parents and into my room. So I put the diapers, still in the bag, in the back of the car. I come home, mom waves to me out the upstairs window, and goes off somewhere else. I quickly grab the bag from the back and run up to the house- and the light is on behind the door I'm going to go in, so I hide the bag behind some tools leaning against the house. I go in, and noones in the entry room, but I don't go back out to allay suspicion (I'm pretty sure my parents know I wear diapers, but the specifics is a story for another time). I talk to my parents about my terrible day at work, and my mom sends me outside to get some stuff from the car. Seizing my chance, on my way back in, I bring in my diapers, take them to the downstairs room and hide them in my backpack before heading back upstairs. I talk again for awhile, then go to get my bag (smuggle the diapers into my room in it), but get caught up browsing this site and writing for about an hour before I go to bed, by which time my parents are already asleep. So I bring my diapers into my room, remove them from the package, and store all but 1 in a drawer, which I'm wearing now while sucking on one of my pacis before I go to sleep (I love my pacis more than I ever expected. Diapers or not, I sleep with one all the time)
And the best part of all of this? The pack was supposed to have 20 diapers. It only had 19.