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Autism, Cerebral Palsy, and being an "Adult Baby"...#135

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My life in "retirement" seems rather boring. As an Autistic person I try and keep a "predictable" sameness to my days. "Changes" are so difficult for me to tolerate and accept. I did have a rather upsetting weekend, with my younger Neurotypical brother up and being quite unpredictable. I ended-up having an autistic "meltdown", over my brother not coming home this past Saturday night, and not "telling me about the change in his plans". He stayed overnight over at a friend of his. Anyway, my weekend was a totally lonely one, with the exception of me attending church yesterday morning.

Late afternoon today from 3:00 PM to 6:00 PM, I had my usual daytime "Baby Regression Time". I simply laid quietly in my bed between my side-safety rails and I mutely sucked my thumb, hugged "La-La Lamb", and played with some of my baby rattles.

At ~ 4:30 PM, I finally fell asleep in my bed, wearing nothing but my diaper. I soundly slept until my "alarm" woke me up.

I did get myself dressed again.

In the evening, my little brother sent me out on an errand to the grocery store for a tub of margarine.

Well, I am undressed again and I am watching DVD's on my computer. I am physically the most comfortable wearing nothing but my diaper. Even though as an Autistic, I am used to "wearing clothes", I do feel the tactile sensation of clothing against my skin to be "too much" to handle cognitively lots of times.

"Nudity", with the exception of wearing nothing but a diaper for me is "calming". It also feels good to be out of my Cerebral Palsy "punishment" shoes (my AFO leg braces). It is not fun to have to wear leg braces and use forearm crutches to be able to "stand and walk".

I am a "Crippled Little Boy".

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