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Crissyfox

Never gonna pass as a girl.

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I hate my body, and really wish i was born a girl, but I have come to the realization that i will never be able to convincingly pass as a girl. I've waited too long to start HRT and now my body is too masculine too convince anyone that i am a girl. and it makes me really depressed, and i just don't wanna go on and be trapped in a horrible half man body. and i just don't know what to do anymore. i wish there was a procedure that would be able to drastically reshape my body to be more feminine but there will probably never be one in my lifetime. And i don't know what to do. I don't wanna look at this stupid boy body anymore.
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  1. KatelynG's Avatar
    Hey! Another trans girl here that's been on HRT for a bit.

    First of all, I'd like to offer you lots of virtual hugs!!!

    Now I'd like to dissect your post in hopes that it could help you out a bit.



    I have come to the realization that i will never be able to convincingly pass as a girl.
    First of all, I seriously doubt this. HRT does crazy stuff no matter what age you are, and I've definitely seen people who transitioned in their 60s and 70s that very convincingly passed. At 26 you will have absolutely zero difficulty looking like you have been female your entire life. Second of all, I'd like to question what you mean by passing. The fact of the matter is that if you present female and live in a moderately liberal area (SoCal definitely qualifies), almost everyone will gender you correctly. I could pass after a couple of months on HRT by simply dressing and acting how I wanted to and having self-confidence. Self-confidence is by far the most important component in "passing", and to be honest, more than any of the physical changes, self-confidence was the most important thing HRT gave me.



    i wish there was a procedure that would be able to drastically reshape my body to be more feminine
    This procedure exists. In fact, there are a number of medical procedures that can make your body much more "feminine". The thing is that with HRT, especially as young as you are, you probably will have no need for them at all.



    And i don't know what to do.
    Keep living! Find a doctor/therapist, get on HRT, live your life.



    I don't wanna look at this stupid boy body anymore.
    What boy body? Your body is your own. You are a girl. Thus, your body is a girl's body. It might not be the most ideal of bodies, but it is yours and you are free to reshape it to more accurately reflect yourself.

    My final advice to you: find local trans support groups. You are not alone. There are people that have been through your situation and will be able to advise you directly in addition to being right there with you physically. Once again, you are not alone, and you are beautiful as yourself. And if you ever need anyone to talk to, feel free to PM me - I am willing to give out my Skype to talk and to connect you with people.
  2. Crissyfox's Avatar


    Quote Originally Posted by KatelynG
    Hey! Another trans girl here that's been on HRT for a bit.

    First of all, I'd like to offer you lots of virtual hugs!!!

    Now I'd like to dissect your post in hopes that it could help you out a bit.



    First of all, I seriously doubt this. HRT does crazy stuff no matter what age you are, and I've definitely seen people who transitioned in their 60s and 70s that very convincingly passed. At 26 you will have absolutely zero difficulty looking like you have been female your entire life. Second of all, I'd like to question what you mean by passing. The fact of the matter is that if you present female and live in a moderately liberal area (SoCal definitely qualifies), almost everyone will gender you correctly. I could pass after a couple of months on HRT by simply dressing and acting how I wanted to and having self-confidence. Self-confidence is by far the most important component in "passing", and to be honest, more than any of the physical changes, self-confidence was the most important thing HRT gave me.



    This procedure exists. In fact, there are a number of medical procedures that can make your body much more "feminine". The thing is that with HRT, especially as young as you are, you probably will have no need for them at all.



    Keep living! Find a doctor/therapist, get on HRT, live your life.



    What boy body? Your body is your own. You are a girl. Thus, your body is a girl's body. It might not be the most ideal of bodies, but it is yours and you are free to reshape it to more accurately reflect yourself.

    My final advice to you: find local trans support groups. You are not alone. There are people that have been through your situation and will be able to advise you directly in addition to being right there with you physically. Once again, you are not alone, and you are beautiful as yourself. And if you ever need anyone to talk to, feel free to PM me - I am willing to give out my Skype to talk and to connect you with people.
    thank you so much for that. helped a lot, actually still wiping tears from my eyes. and i will look around, i have been not wanting to start HRT until i am nearly done with electrolysis since i have read being on hormones makes that process take longer. but as i don't have a source of income right now i haven't been able to.
  3. Marka's Avatar
    Crissyfox,

    KatelynG touched on some points that I would like to [emphasize]...



    The fact of the matter is that if you present female [as you]..." "...Self-confidence is by far the most important component in "passing", and to be honest, more than any of the physical changes, self-confidence was [is] the most important thing[Period]..." "...Keep living! Find a doctor/therapist, [first and], live your life.
    I would add... reshape your mind first... before you worry too much about where the dangly-bits hang, or what part seems too square, or not round enough...

    I would like to leave it to qualified specialists of gender dysmorphia, and related trans-gender issues... to help you determine what is needed, and when, for you specifically...



    Is this the real life?
    Is this just fantasy?
    Caught in a landslide,
    No escape from reality.
    Your profile indicates that you are poor and homeless... Let's first work on getting you proper shelter, and some means to take care of yourself financially, and support-wise psychologically, and with in-person peers...

    You have my empathy and concerns!
    Life is now, live fully now... make due with what you have, at least until something more comes along...

    My best, and with respect!
    -Marka
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