... And I'm a Mormon
by, 12-Oct-2014 at 21:49 (458 Views)
So how many of you have see these ads? They always start out with somebody saying stuff about their life. Like how they are a CEO of a company, or a single parent, or a student; and then they always end with "...and I'm a Mormon". Well, here is mine. I am a single guy, living in a house with 11 other single guys. I am a cook awaiting and in training for a manager position opening up in a couple months. I studied anthropology in college and I hope to continue on to a Masters. I like to wear adult diapers for comfort and support ... And I'm a Mormon.
Now before I go to far into this blog I just wanna start off by saying this isn't going to be a preachy blog about my religion. If you genuinely want to know more about it please visit these sites that are officially done by the church:
What I do want to talk about today is what it has been like accepting the desire to wear diapers while being an active, believing member of a conservative Christian religion.
I was raised in the Mormon church, and my parents taught us great values as kids. If we swore, our mouths were washed out with soap. Good behavior was reinforced by white beans that my mom put in a jar with our names on it. Once we had enough white beans we could get a candy bar. You know things like that.
I will never forget what happened the first time I wore my PullUps (in case you didn't read from my earlier blog I was a bed wetter) during the day. I did my normal routine of throwing away my old PullUp and I just thought, "Hey I like how these feel more than my underwear, why don't I just wear them during the day too." So I did. At kindergarten no one said anything. After school I started playing some SNES with my brother, and when my sister came home she was the one to notice the back of my PullUp sticking out of my pants. She took me up to my room and told me to take it off. She said, "You don't want to grow up to be a pervert." That stuck with me for a long time.
All throughout my childhood I didn't really care about what other people thought or even the idea of I would be a pervert if I wore my PullUps. I would wear them any chance I could. If I got caught by an older sibling or a parent I would be punished. Then I was trained to not wet the bed and the PullUps went bye bye. I missed them. But I never thought that the desire to wear them was wrong or that I was a pervert.
This changed as I started going through puberty. At school they taught us about the biological changes that were happening in our bodies. At church we learned how to safely guard ourselves against the possible dangers of pornorgraphy, adultery, fornication, and other sexual sin. This is when I started to question myself. Am I a pervert for liking diapers?
I struggled with this question for a long time. As I said in an earlier blog, I lost interest in diapers as a teenager as I developed a relationship with a girl. After she broke my heart I started thinking about diapers, well PullUps since I didn't know there was such a thing as adult sized diapers at the time. While serving a mission in Mexico I saw adult diapers, real adult diapers, sold individually at a drug store! Making up an excuse to my companion that I was buying them as a joke for a friend of mine I started loading some into my basket. I then put them back and just grabbed an entire package. I was so excited! Wearing them to bed in secret every now and then (it ended up being like one diaper a month) that package lasted the last year of my mission.
After I returned to the mainland, I would buy on and off. Every time I would buy I would splurge and then feel guilty. I felt like a pervert. When I moved out to Hawaii I started to feel more lonely than ever. I gave in and ordered diapers. The support I got from them was amazing, but I felt guilty for enjoying them. I started a relationship and the support I received from her led me to not need the diapers. But I was still wearing them. As I told her about this she made me realize that diapers were like pornography to me. I was wearing them to get aroused. I stopped.
After a while our lives led us in different directions and I felt alone. Again I bought some diapers and overdid it. I felt guilty and threw the rest of the pack out. Over the next couple months it got worse. I started working two jobs since I finished school and the stress just kept building. Plus it doesn't help that I'm considered old by Mormons to still be single.
About a month ago I decided enough was enough I needed help and the only help I wanted was adult diapers. I ordered some more and for the first time I don't feel guilty about wearing them. It's because this time around it's like when I was a kid, I just want to wear, not for arousal, but for comfort and support. So for the first time since I was a kid I can wear my diapers in peace without guilt.