by, 31-Aug-2014 at 07:13 (349 Views)
My, what a month it's been.
For one thing, my last blog about "overstepping my boundaries" is basically out of sight and out of mind. I've simply stopped talking to the girl. I got another perspective on it from a friend, and she said that this girl had no right to boot me out of her life like that, and that the relationship I was trying to form was very unhealthy. It's a long and complex explanation, but it boils down to the fact that this girl has no soul.
Speaking of which, I recently went through a stint with a woman who I will name Kate for the sake of easy referencing. I had never had sex, and in this "relationship" she kept asking me to have sex with her, and I kept saying that we should wait. So she did, and we were fine. Then we helped my sister move, who Kate has known for a few months, and there was a college party going on there, and she kept flirting with other guys...in front of me. When they didn't respond, Kate came running back to me, asking to dance and what not.
It was here that she asked me to be her significant other, to which I said yes. Now, when I said yes, I thought it was a commitment to me until we simply didn't want to be together anymore, which I thought would last a few months, as she and I got along greatly. That night, thinking that I had entered a sort-of-long term relationship, I finally said yes to having sex.
Two days later, she's gone. She went to stay closer to work, and when she left to do that she did not text or call or visit once. I was very confused. She said she needed time, and I was okay to give her that, but I thought she was going to eventually come back. She never intended to. We're no longer friends, or significant others for that matter.
I told her I have trust issues because I'd been hurt too much in the past, and when she acted compassionate and empathetic long enough to get what she wanted, she up and left. She lied about everything she claimed she truly was as a person just to earn my trust, and she took what I had to give and perverted it completely.
Gods...just talking about it makes me upset. So much for love. I'm done with it.
And, on top of all this, my parents found my last diaper in the stash. They think it's because I've been having trouble with my Crohn's, but something tells me that they know what it's really about, in a vague sense. I'm very embarrassed about it, and I kind of want to move out just because this side of me is not really a secret anymore. It's still something I admittedly struggle with, and to know that my parents think about it just makes me feel weird.