I Think I Went Overboard...
by, 16-Aug-2014 at 06:23 (350 Views)
So I just spent $400 on some AB/little stuff, and I didn't plan to. Unfortunately, my thought process goes like this...I want this, but I don't want to spend that much money on it...No, I really want it, but I don't want to spend money...I really want it. I don't care how much it costs (and I have enough money). I'm getting it.
As some of you may know, I got off the binge-purge cycle in May. However, since accepting my AB/DL/little side, it seems that I have both gotten better and worse at coping with it. One week, I may just lack my AB/DL/little side completely, and then the next week, kind of like a binge, I get fully immersed. But then, while I'm immersed, I sometimes have the desire to get certain things to make my experience more realistic, which just works against my self-control and my net worth.
Unfortunately, because of my Asperger's, I have a tendency to be perfectionist, and it's quite difficult for me to settle for less. Once I have a way to achieve my goal, there's almost no stopping me.
My tendency to splurge is essentially limited to AB/little stuff, and it's not making me destitute, but this whole AB/DL/little business is taking up a large portion of my life.
When I was in binge-purge, I would satisfy my desires with stuff at home until I got so worked that I went out to buy some things. Then the purge came, and into the trash went all my stuff, and the cycle repeated every few months to every year/year and a half or so.
I'm guessing that where I'm at now is better than when I was in binge-purge as I'm not buying stuff, trashing stuff, and mentally beating myself up, but it's still a little crazy.