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Autism, Cerebral Palsy, and being an "Adult Baby"...#103

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Depression is pretty-much co-morbid with us "older" adults on
the Autism Spectrum. The triggers for Depression, at least with
myself are negative experiences with "Social Functioning". My
own cognitive social functioning is that of a child of roughly 8
years old. This is of course in sharp contrast with my measured
Intelligence Quotient of 135 at the age of 12 decades ago. I
have tried as an Autistic to "fake" being more "Socially
Functional" for decades. But, in the end, it "never worked". My
profound "social immaturity" always came out "at the wrong
places and at the wrong times". This was true at every single
employer I had from 1978 to 2001. I admit now to being
nothing more than a "child" in an "adult man's body". At age
56, I do perform some "adult" things, such as driving a motor
vehicle and managing money and paying "bills". The other
adult thing I do is shoot video and create television pro-
graming for the Derry, New Hampshire Community Public-
Access CATV Channel. I was up there at the television studio
this afternoon to upload and edit video footage I shot in full
HDTV Format.

But, when I returned home, I flipped into being only 8 years
old again. I hid myself away from my 52 year-old younger
brother who is the "adult" in the family. He did have his girl-
friend over. After they left the house together, I continued
to "stay in my bedroom", and I "put myself down for an early
evening nap.

When I awoke from my nap at around 7:30 PM, I wanted to
watch a DVD video. I watched one of my "My Little Pony,
Friendship is Magic" DVD's here on my computer while I
mutely laid back down in my bed wearing nothing but my
incontinence diaper and plastic pants. While watching "My
Little Pony", I clutched my soft comforting "child's" Baby
Doll friend. His name is "Precious". I sleep with him every
single night and at every single nap. "Precious" protects
me from "bad dreams". "Precious" also protects me from
"Thunder and Lightning".

I did go into my little brother's bedroom around 9:00 PM
after watching "My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic" to
watch the PBS "WORLD" CATV Channel. I mutely sat in
the recliner chair and watched a factual documentary all
about race to design, construct, and test-detonate super-
powerful nuclear weapons.

Anyway, I am back in my bedroom again, and undressed
and wearing nothing but my incontinence diaper and
plastic pants. Yes! I am "wet" again. I go through 5 to 6
incontinence diapers per day. I stink, I smell, and I am
a "dirty" crippled little boy with Cerebral Palsy, besides
Autism. Earlier this evening while watching "My Little
Pony, Friendship is Magic", I uncontrollably made poo-
poo and I had a "big mess" to clean off my bottom.

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