Therapy and Updates
by, 20-Jun-2014 at 22:39 (323 Views)
Yesterday I saw my Therapist as I usually do once every 2 weeks. I was assigned even more homework (Sighhhh interacting with people is hard...) and I'm now tasked with "Initiating a conversation with at least 2 complete strangers." It's not something I'm looking forward to doing, but I suppose it's going to help me overcome my SAD (Social Anxiety Disorder).
We had yet another break through to! I've been made to feel like it's not okay to be me, that the people around me in real life, have pressed me into putting up a facade around others. And that I feel that I can't be myself for fear of being judged. We also identified a key factor in what contributes to this, My parents (Of course.) They have compared me to my 2 older brothers my whole life. Hell right out of diapers the comparisons began, the earliest I can remember was this: "Why do you keep having accidents? Matt never had any accidents when he was trained!" Things like that stick with you, instead of nurturing me, my parents well for lack of a better term abused me. They abused me mentally for years, they've made me feel worthless and made me feel like I'm not allowed to be myself.
I think that's all for now, if anyone can offer any advice on overcoming Social Anxiety Disorder, please do comment on this. I would love to hear from you.