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Transmissions From Within A Cloud Of Absinthe

How (Not) To Kill Your Coworkers

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I'm a cook. Not a Chef, those people go to school and have degrees and little letters next to their names. I'm a cook and proud of it. Cooking is one of my true passions. Crafting the dishes, plating them, making it all perfect, it's what I do. Even at home something as simple as ramen become a special moment, proper spice, the right water temp... everything matters no matter how mundane.

Therein lies the problem. I care about the food, not you. How it looks, how it tastes, even how it sounds as it goes out to a table. Not for the customers sake, but for my own sense of satisfaction with what I've done. I don't cook for you, I cook for me. My coworkers? they cook for the paycheck at the end of the week. Quality? They don't give a fuck. Using the right plates or bowls? They don't even bother to find out what the right way is. How do they still have jobs? God only knows.

Unfortunately my job performance is directly dependent upon these useless lumps of flesh. If my prep-cook fucks around and doesn't get his shit done, it becomes my responsibility. If my backup cook is more interested in what happens on her phone than what happens on the line, I just have to man up and get things taken care of. Its a lot of stress piled up in an already stressful workplace.

Now, I usually can keep things in check, but today, no such luck. After a few too many things piled up in the middle of dinner rush, I went Gordon Ramsey on one of my coworkers. She ended up in tears behind the restaurant for a good 20 minutes. Don't feel sorry for her. If she had done her job properly nothing would have happened.

I must be a terrible person, right? No nice well adjusted person would do such a horrid thing. As I said earlier, cooking is my passion. Imagine being in a room with another person, working on whatever it is that drives you, and this other person is constantly fucking up everything you do. Would you keep your cool? For how long? Try doing it day by day by day. Let's see how long it is before you want to do horrible things to them with a patterson trocar.

Don't get me wrong, I don't really like when this sort of thing happens. It's not me. I would much prefer to be happy and jovial all the time at work, but reality happens to us all. Show me a person who never gets angry and I'll show you a person taking way to many tranquilizers.

Does all this mean that I need a new job? Maybe. Does it mean that my coworkers need new jobs? Maybe. One person loves to cook, another simply wants some cash. Who is right? Who is wrong?


  1. Marka's Avatar
    Funny, I got to Gordon Ramsey before you mentioned it...

    Ah, yeah... you're an artist... it makes a bit more sense to me now... No, I don't feel sorry for her, because you gave her what for... I feel sorry for her, because she probably doesn't give a shit...

    I always had the people in mind... but, now that you mention it... the importance to quality, presentation, and timeliness... was probably for my standards as much as anything...

    Perhaps you need the loving nightmare of your own restaurant...

    Ideally, one would make cash doing what they love to do...

    It's not the 'special', if you change everything about it...

    Order up!

  2. Maxx's Avatar
    Every once in a while, the truly clueless need to have their worldview rearranged.
  3. foxkits's Avatar
    I worked for a guy called mean joe green he was my best boss .
    Every one have a job and did it or went home.
    I was a great place we worked it was easyer every one did there job.
    He left every one played did games I quit month later.
    I was there to work not play.
    You were right . - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community. is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.