Am I encouraging incontinence?
by, 05-Jun-2014 at 19:35 (1034 Views)
Ok, I just want to clarify my title really quick. I AM NOT TRYING TO BECOME INCONTINENT NOR DO I WANT TO BE INCONTINENT!
So I have been having problems with leaking when I am done urinating. I know 100% when I have to go and I always make it on time but when I zip up, I always dribble in my boxers. At first it was just a little, now its enough it runs down my leg or leaves a 2"-3" spot on my jeans. Now jeans hide the wetness fairly good so as of now I haven't been using diapers or anything to manage it. Its kind of odd that I have a slight excuse to wear diapers and yet I am not doing so because I don't want to "give in." Unlike many ABDLs, I do understand that becoming incontinent is not actually the dream most of us have. It would be severely inconvenient in many situations and it isn't all its cracked up to be. So I want to keep control of bladder if possible.
Here is my problem/question. Being a diaper lover, I frequently have dreams about diapers and in the past few weeks, I have had dreams that have almost caused me to wet the bed. I haven't actually wet the bed but I have been close. I also have found myself holding it way longer than I need to and all of a sudden I realize I NEED to go fairly quick. It is like it just hits me all of a sudden even though I knew I had to pee a half hour ago but then its like it just hits me. I haven't had an accident but I am wondering, am I subconsciously holding it because of my fetish or is my diaper lover side contributing to my incontinence?
I know that 99.9% of everyone here is not a doctor so I'm not expecting some medical reason but I am wondering if you think this is possible. Its something that would be super embarrassing to have to tell my doctor if that's the case. Now I am not saying I will go into the doctor's office next week and say "hey doc, I am having some problems with incontinence, could my diaper fetish be the cause?" That would be nuts. I am just saying, if I went in, they did tests, found out it wasn't anything physical, would it be worth saying something like, "well I have been having dreams where I can't control my bladder and almost wet myself."?
I always have wondered if you can be 100% physically healthy and yet be incontinent because of psychological reasons (I'm not talking like a mental illness or traumatic event, just something in your head that says its alright to go whenever).
To be honest, if I were to be incontinent, I would rather it be from a physical issue because I would at least know "the reason" and not wonder why I can't control myself.
Also, something else I would like to ask everyone. Every morning I wake up with a damp crotch. Now, I'm not soaked, just damp (like a wash cloth that was wrung out and set out for an hour). Now, to me it smells like pee but my nose doesn't work very well either. What I am wondering, am I just leaking very slowly and making my underwear damp or am I sweating like crazy down there? I am 24 and not going through puberty so we can rule that out (been there, done that) and it isn't the same as that was. That is why I am wondering if I am leaking like that and wondering if anyone else has that issue.
And just because I have to have my quick little rant. For those of you reading this thinking, I wish that was me so I could have an excuse to wear diapers or dreaming of becoming incontinent, you honestly have no idea what it is like. I maybe working toward incontinence(involuntarily!) but those people who do struggle with it truly know the hardships of incontinence. Since these issues started, I started trying to imagine having to wear diapers throughout my daily life and NOT HAVING CONTROL and there are so many times incontinence would be a burden. I have worn 24/7 a few times throughout my life but wearing with the option of going to the bathroom and being able to hold it is a completely different situation than having no control at all. Like my current situation, if I was in a wet diaper and needed to change right now, I would be horribly inconvenienced because I am stuck in my office, the bathrooms are locked because the water is shut off because of maintenance. The only option is a porta potty everyone uses and there is no garbage to dispose of a diaper near the porta potty and it is a super small space for a guy my size. It would not be a good situation that could cost me sales (because of wet pants, smell, etc.) which in turn could cost me my job. I hope that this is not the start of incontinence, and if it is, I hope it is temporary or stays small enough it is easy to manage. If not, I will survive, and I will take it on in the most positive light I can. If I need diapers, I will enjoy them as much as possible and I will try to make incontinence not a negative but a positive. BUT if I had the choice, I want to keep the ability to control my bladder and I want to keep the ability to wear diapers when I want instead of all the time.
Thanks for reading another one of my rants and also listening to my problems and like always, any comments, advice, or even arguments are always welcome (as long as it isn't just a "bash" session but an honest, ADULT, discussion and debate).