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Am I encouraging incontinence?

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Ok, I just want to clarify my title really quick. I AM NOT TRYING TO BECOME INCONTINENT NOR DO I WANT TO BE INCONTINENT!
So I have been having problems with leaking when I am done urinating. I know 100% when I have to go and I always make it on time but when I zip up, I always dribble in my boxers. At first it was just a little, now its enough it runs down my leg or leaves a 2"-3" spot on my jeans. Now jeans hide the wetness fairly good so as of now I haven't been using diapers or anything to manage it. Its kind of odd that I have a slight excuse to wear diapers and yet I am not doing so because I don't want to "give in." Unlike many ABDLs, I do understand that becoming incontinent is not actually the dream most of us have. It would be severely inconvenient in many situations and it isn't all its cracked up to be. So I want to keep control of bladder if possible.

Here is my problem/question. Being a diaper lover, I frequently have dreams about diapers and in the past few weeks, I have had dreams that have almost caused me to wet the bed. I haven't actually wet the bed but I have been close. I also have found myself holding it way longer than I need to and all of a sudden I realize I NEED to go fairly quick. It is like it just hits me all of a sudden even though I knew I had to pee a half hour ago but then its like it just hits me. I haven't had an accident but I am wondering, am I subconsciously holding it because of my fetish or is my diaper lover side contributing to my incontinence?

I know that 99.9% of everyone here is not a doctor so I'm not expecting some medical reason but I am wondering if you think this is possible. Its something that would be super embarrassing to have to tell my doctor if that's the case. Now I am not saying I will go into the doctor's office next week and say "hey doc, I am having some problems with incontinence, could my diaper fetish be the cause?" That would be nuts. I am just saying, if I went in, they did tests, found out it wasn't anything physical, would it be worth saying something like, "well I have been having dreams where I can't control my bladder and almost wet myself."?

I always have wondered if you can be 100% physically healthy and yet be incontinent because of psychological reasons (I'm not talking like a mental illness or traumatic event, just something in your head that says its alright to go whenever).

To be honest, if I were to be incontinent, I would rather it be from a physical issue because I would at least know "the reason" and not wonder why I can't control myself.

Also, something else I would like to ask everyone. Every morning I wake up with a damp crotch. Now, I'm not soaked, just damp (like a wash cloth that was wrung out and set out for an hour). Now, to me it smells like pee but my nose doesn't work very well either. What I am wondering, am I just leaking very slowly and making my underwear damp or am I sweating like crazy down there? I am 24 and not going through puberty so we can rule that out (been there, done that) and it isn't the same as that was. That is why I am wondering if I am leaking like that and wondering if anyone else has that issue.

And just because I have to have my quick little rant. For those of you reading this thinking, I wish that was me so I could have an excuse to wear diapers or dreaming of becoming incontinent, you honestly have no idea what it is like. I maybe working toward incontinence(involuntarily!) but those people who do struggle with it truly know the hardships of incontinence. Since these issues started, I started trying to imagine having to wear diapers throughout my daily life and NOT HAVING CONTROL and there are so many times incontinence would be a burden. I have worn 24/7 a few times throughout my life but wearing with the option of going to the bathroom and being able to hold it is a completely different situation than having no control at all. Like my current situation, if I was in a wet diaper and needed to change right now, I would be horribly inconvenienced because I am stuck in my office, the bathrooms are locked because the water is shut off because of maintenance. The only option is a porta potty everyone uses and there is no garbage to dispose of a diaper near the porta potty and it is a super small space for a guy my size. It would not be a good situation that could cost me sales (because of wet pants, smell, etc.) which in turn could cost me my job. I hope that this is not the start of incontinence, and if it is, I hope it is temporary or stays small enough it is easy to manage. If not, I will survive, and I will take it on in the most positive light I can. If I need diapers, I will enjoy them as much as possible and I will try to make incontinence not a negative but a positive. BUT if I had the choice, I want to keep the ability to control my bladder and I want to keep the ability to wear diapers when I want instead of all the time.

Thanks for reading another one of my rants and also listening to my problems and like always, any comments, advice, or even arguments are always welcome (as long as it isn't just a "bash" session but an honest, ADULT, discussion and debate).


  1. Maxx's Avatar
    That amount of leakage is not normal. In your head? No idea. Significant physical problem? No idea there either.

    What I would do is review things that may have changed in your life to see if one of them might be the cause. Work schedule? Sleep schedule? Weight? Diet? Living arrangements?
  2. MotoX's Avatar
    Thanks for the advice Maxx. Yeah, I realize the amount isn't normal. My whole life I have always dripped a bit but up until about 6 months ago, it was always just a few drops. It wasn't like it hit me instantly, just slowly increasing to where I didn't really notice it until a few months ago. As far as things that have changed, yeah, I've had a ton of change in the last year. Its all been good change, first kid, new house, and new job are just a few things. By no means do I want to change any of that and for awhile I blamed stress. At times I get more stressed and it does get worse at those times but I don't feel like stress is the main cause. I'm not ruling it out by any means, just feel like it might be something else and stress just increases it at times. I am planning on discussing it with a doctor at some time and almost have a couple times but either I chicken out or the doctor is in a crazy hurry and I don't get a chance to bring it up. I'm too tight with money and a bit nervous to schedule an appointment for just my leakage at this point but I may have to break down and do it. Thanks for the tips Maxx!
  3. MotoX's Avatar
    Thanks for the reply plasticman!

    I appreciate your advice but I have tried sitting down, shaking it, milking the urethra, and even waiting for about 30 seconds after I'm done before I zip up (not the foreskin thing because I am circumcised) and none of them "cure" the problem. When I do those things, I do get more pee out but I will zip up take a few steps and leak still. I have tried multiple things but none have seemed to help so far.

    I also want to clarify, I don't want to be incontinent. After reading your post again I think you understand that but I can't clarify that enough. By no means am I trying to be incontinent and I am not trying to cause leaks, I just was wondering if subconsciously you could cause your own incontinence because of a diaper fetish. I am not trying to force leaks nor am I striving for being in diapers for incontinence. If I want to wear diapers, I can wear diapers but I don't want to be forced to wear diapers 24/7 because of incontinence. I like being able to choose boxers or diapers.

    As far as the whole line of not being able to pick up women, well I can't do that anymore anyways or my wife will kill me! I understand there is a lot of other scenarios but just saying, at least I don't have to worry about dating anymore.

    Also, I may be wrong, but I feel like you are seriously belittling my problem. I am not saying it is a severe as what you maybe going through but I also know that what I am dealing with isn't normal. For example, I just went to take a leak, I felt like I was done, tried to get as much out as I could afterwards, zipped up, made it 10 feet from the bathroom and felt my crotch get wet. I made it to my office and sat down and started checking to see how wet I am and I have soaked through my boxers and jeans and a dark spot about 3" long and 1" wide is on my jeans. Now, thankfully my jeans are dark and the spot is between my legs so no one will see but that isn't normal. I'm not asking for a pity party nor am I comparing what I have to someone who has full incontinence, but I do realize it is an issue. Five years ago, I maybe had two drops hit my boxers, now I have a small stream, who knows what 5 more years could bring? I'm not saying that is the case but if I can avoid losing control by doing research now, I am going to look into it now.

    I have debated shields or guards but I have some reservations that way. One reason is, my diaper lover side says, "If you are going to break down and buy protection, buy a diaper and not a pad." Another reason is I have heard that the shields and guards aren't worth your time and they don't hold you in place very well. I am not saying that is the case because I have never tried them but that is what I have heard.

    I would like to address this statement you made as well.

    "you cant really go to the doctors with a crazy story like you have a bit of urine caught under your foreskin which escapes, and causes over many hours a small stain that nobody can see, let alone care about, you havent got a leakage problem believe me"

    Maybe I am misreading this but this part of your run on sentence really bothers me. So first, you state I have a crazy story about urine caught under foreskin. I never said that was the issue and I am circumcised so that can't even be the case if I wanted it to be. I am actually leaking urine from my urethra which means its a form of incontinence, not just a problem with cleaning up. I'm not saying its a big form of incontinence but it is, by definition, incontinence. Second thing that bothers me, the small stain comment. Thankfully I have dark boxers so if they are stained you can't tell but I AM LEAKING THROUGH BOXERS AND JEANS EVERY DAY. That causes a stain. Third part, the part that nobody can see it or care about it really irritates me. If I had to wear khakis, everyone would see it instantly and my job requires me to deal with people one on one. People do care about a salesman's image and that does effect my job and life. I CARE ABOUT IT. My boss cares about it if I start losing sales, my wife cares about it, my family cares about it. Don't say nobody cares about it. And finally, the whole "you havent got a leakage problem" part is just ignorant. I leak urine when I shouldn't, that is a leakage problem. Just because your incontinence is worse than mine doesn't mean mine doesn't exist.

    And finally, I need to rant a bit overall about your comment. I genuinely like this community so far because out of every ABDL/Incontinent community, this one seems to be one of the most friendly, mature, and nonjudgmental communities out there. For the most part, people seem to give good advice, genuinely understand situations and respond in a kind, understandable manner. I am part of a generation that loves text lingo and things that are difficult to understand and I personally prefer to read a statement that is written properly with decent grammar, no abbreviations, decent spelling (I mean we have spell check people....USE IT) and easy to understand. Even though you are 69, you seem to write like a teenager. Its a constant run on sentence that is very difficult to interpret. I have to reread parts and try to figure out the context in which you are writing it. Breaking a run on sentence down into multiple sentences is much easier to read than the mess you wrote. Second overall problem I have is the general condescending tone of the comment. I understand you are older, have dealt with these issues and your problems are worse than a leak BUT that doesn't give you the right to dismiss my issue as nothing. It may never compare to what you have been through but it doesn't mean its not a problem. And my final complaint, the whole foreskin and baby diaper thing. Don't assume what you don't know. I have no foreskin and I am very happy I don't. The baby diaper thing really bothers me because when did I ever say I wanted baby diapers? I do not want to be a baby and I do not want to wear baby diapers. I like to wear diapers, adult diapers. I like diapers but diapers do not make you a baby. It seems to be one of the biggest stereotypes and it drives me nuts.

    So overall, I appreciate you commenting but before you comment next time, please don't use run on sentences. And sorry about the long rant.......again! - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community. is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.