I am incontinent it would seem. :(
by, 24-Apr-2014 at 13:15 (2092 Views)
I am not ashamed for recently becoming IC but I am not happy about it either. I am making this blog more for advice about my own situation then for support but I think I need some support as well. I have fecal incontinence for as yet unknown reasons (seeing various specialists about that) and have been forced to wear diapers practically 24/7 for a few months now. Whenever I get diarrhea for any reason (right now it's the side effect of a medication that seems to be totally necessary) I simply cannot hold any of it in. I suspect that I probably damaged my muscles when I was younger permanently and while the muscles might very well be strong I believe that they are simply unable to form a proper seal that will hold well under pressure from any kind of diarrhea. I suspect I have Sensory processing Disorder(SPD)(not diagnosed yet) and my inability to feel the urge to go until the last 20 minutes (or less nowadays) happens to be the culprit I believe. SPD is a condition that causes the patient to process information from their senses in ways that are not normal. Here's a link to some general info about SPD if your wondering what it is http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensory...ssing_disorder.
When I was homeless I used to walk around a lot (averaged literally 10 miles a day) trying to find a job. I abused my body in various ways including holding it in too long because I did not feel the need to go until maybe 20 minutes before bursting due to lack of sensory input it appears(again I have not been diagnosed with this yet). I think I have inadvertently and permanently damaged the seal on my sphincter and that while the muscles are most likely strong the possible scars on that part of me due to damage are making it impossible for me to form a proper seal that's incapable of holding anything that is of slightly less then average consistency. As crazy as it sounds but I would rather keep taking my Metformin (Glucophage) for diabetes (I am pre diabetic) and deal with being IC instead of having to switch to something else because the Metformin will not kill me or do something nasty but I cannot say as much about other medications as there's no way to be 100% sure what the side effects would be if I did. Even then if I get prescribed any medication which I will soon for mental health purposes anyways and it has diarrhea as a side effect then I am screwed anyways. I think I would rather just live with being incontinent as opposed to getting even more crazy then I happen to already be.
I am trying to just make sure I am not doing this to myself because I was one of those individuals who wants to be IC. I just seriously believe that this is just the best choice for me and I am only making sure of that and I second guess everything I do these days just on principle. I have already placed my mental health at risk because of this by not taking certain medications (mental health ones) more because I wanted to wait and get a diagnosis for damage I suffered years ago and I wanted to make sure me and my doctors knew what we where dealing with before prescribing anything but also because certain medications I used to be on actually made things worse. Can anyone reading this blog find any fault with my logic and reasoning here and tell me accordingly as my rationale can easily be called into question? I am a little scared as these are major changes in my life and whatever I do I know this will affect me for the rest of my life and I really need to know that this is the right thing for me to do.