View RSS Feed

SnowBlitz

Feeling useless.

Rate this Entry
I don't know why. And I certainly don't want to seem like the person who airs their dirty laundry in public but here goes nothing.

My whole life, I've searched for my place. Searched for where I belong. And I don't seem to fit in anywhere I go. Sure I fit in here with the few friends I have on here... But I don't even know. I just want someone to talk to I suppose... To help me through this stupid morning. I feel like giving up and I wish I knew what brought this on. I fucking hate myself. I'm at my wits end, I'm alone, and I don't know what to do any longer. I hate feeling this way. I hate myself for feeling this way.

I'm emotionally drained. I don't know what to do any longer, I'm just so sick of being useless all the damn time. I can't even make myself happy, how do I expect to be a good person if I can't even do that?

Updated 17-Apr-2014 at 18:02 by SnowBlitz

Categories
Uncategorized

Comments

  1. Trevor's Avatar
    It's common enough to go through down patches, although it's possible that this may be something more significant. I remind myself that my life isn't supposed to be any certain thing nor is my place predetermined or set. It's all what I make of it and sometimes that's a mess but it all goes on. Make sure you're getting enough exercise. It's funny to think but that seems to be one of the most basic things we can do to keep ourselves on an even emotional and mental keel. You're not alone; lots of people are confused and messed up and that's okay too.
  2. SnowBlitz's Avatar


    Quote Originally Posted by Trevor
    It's common enough to go through down patches, although it's possible that this may be something more significant. I remind myself that my life isn't supposed to be any certain thing nor is my place predetermined or set. It's all what I make of it and sometimes that's a mess but it all goes on. Make sure you're getting enough exercise. It's funny to think but that seems to be one of the most basic things we can do to keep ourselves on an even emotional and mental keel. You're not alone; lots of people are confused and messed up and that's okay too.
    Thanks Trevor, I know I'm not alone but I sure feel like it sometimes.
  3. Marka's Avatar
    Nintendorox!,

    First start out by realizing that you already are a good and useful person! Now, I'm not paying 'lip-service' to you or trying to cajole you out of your feelings...

    You've likely got a whole lot more of your "whole life" yet to come... there is much discovery to be had so, I will suggest that you're a bit premature in evaluating your life in any sort of totality or conclusion...

    Finding out "what brought this on" may require a more objective approach... feel what you feel but don't take it in such subjective measure...

    What are you doing for your physical health?



    Feeling Worthless and Depression
    By Norm Cohen

    Depression is often lurking in the shadows. When you are depressed, most often you think that you are worthless. The worse the depression, the more you feel this way. Fortunately, you are not alone!

    A survey by Dr. Aaron Beck revealed that over 80 percent of depressed people expressed dislike for themselves. According to Dr. Beck, when you are depressed, you feel “The Four Ds”:

    Defeated,
    Defective,
    Deserted, and
    Deprived.

    Also, most counselors find that depressed individuals see themselves as deficient in those qualities of life they most highly value: intelligence, achievement, popularity, attractiveness, health and strength. And almost all negative emotional reactions cause damage by contributing to feelings of low self-esteem. "..."..."

    How can you increase your sense of “worth”? You cannot earn it through what you do. Happiness is not obtained solely by your achievements. Self-worth based on accomplishments is “pseudo-esteem”; it’s simply not the real thing.


    Cope, Don’t Mope. People often make the mistake of viewing their images in a global way, making moralistic and negative judgments. This approach tends to cloud the issues, creating confusion and despair, and can block our ability to deal with real problems that lie beneath these judgments. Once we get rid of our negative thoughts, we can define and cope with any real problems that exist.
    You will probably need some kind of in-person help to get you through this much easier than going it alone...

    The Upper Island Counselling Services - (UICS) in your area, does have an online "E-Counseling" feature that may be a great way to get started...

    The experiential wisdom from my previous severe depression is to trust that your perspectives and subsequent evaluations and decision making are quite skewed and distorted (wrong)... depression is what is negatively coloring your views on life all around...we need to get the goggles of depression off of you...

    I, as I'm sure many others here...will offer a supporting role to helping you through this...so, do please keep talking, and check out the link I enclosed here, or find other counseling services in your area...but, please do get professional help!!

    Other links that may be of use to you:


    The Vancouver Island Crisis Line: Call 1-888-494-3888 or visit Vancouver Island Crisis Line: 1-888-494-3888 | Vancouver Island Crisis Society

    Island Health Crisis Services: http://www.viha.ca/cyf_mental_health/crisis_svcs

    HealthLink BC: Suicidal Thoughts or Threats

    Crisis Line Association of BC: Call 1.800.SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)​ or visit Crisis Line Association of BC

    Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention: Suicide Prevention

    -Marka
  4. JazzBaby's Avatar
    I understand how you feel and it's ok. I've been there too. Like Trevor said, you are not alone.
  5. SnowBlitz's Avatar


    Quote Originally Posted by Marka
    Nintendorox!,

    First start out by realizing that you already are a good and useful person! Now, I'm not paying 'lip-service' to you or trying to cajole you out of your feelings...

    You've likely got a whole lot more of your "whole life" yet to come... there is much discovery to be had so, I will suggest that you're a bit premature in evaluating your life in any sort of totality or conclusion...

    Finding out "what brought this on" may require a more objective approach... feel what you feel but don't take it in such subjective measure...

    What are you doing for your physical health?





    You will probably need some kind of in-person help to get you through this much easier than going it alone...

    The Upper Island Counselling Services - (UICS) in your area, does have an online "E-Counseling" feature that may be a great way to get started...

    The experiential wisdom from my previous severe depression is to trust that your perspectives and subsequent evaluations and decision making are quite skewed and distorted (wrong)... depression is what is negatively coloring your views on life all around...we need to get the goggles of depression off of you...

    I, as I'm sure many others here...will offer a supporting role to helping you through this...so, do please keep talking, and check out the link I enclosed here, or find other counseling services in your area...but, please do get professional help!!

    Other links that may be of use to you:



    -Marka
    Thank you so much Markra, I'm checking these links out as we speak. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for providing the info I needed.
  6. Marka's Avatar
    You are so welcome Nintendorox! !! ...and thank you for helping you! -Marka
  7. SnowBlitz's Avatar


    Quote Originally Posted by Marka
    You are so welcome Nintendorox! !! ...and thank you for helping you! -Marka

    I wanted to update you Markra, I just got off the phone with the UICS and set up a councelling meeting for next Thursday. Thank you again from the absolute bottom of my heart, without those links you provided me. I may never have gotten the courage to deal with my problems.
  8. KimbaStarshine's Avatar
    *hugs* sorry I can't offer much more than that...
  9. Trevor's Avatar


    Quote Originally Posted by Nintendorox!
    I wanted to update you Markra, I just got off the phone with the UICS and set up a councelling meeting for next Thursday. Thank you again from the absolute bottom of my heart, without those links you provided me. I may never have gotten the courage to deal with my problems.
    Congratulations for taking a concrete step to improve things. If that doesn't help, you can find something else. Keep at it
  10. Marka's Avatar


    Quote Originally Posted by Nintendorox!
    I wanted to update you Marka, I just got off the phone with the UICS and set up a councelling meeting for next Thursday. Thank you again from the absolute bottom of my heart, without those links you provided me. I may never have gotten the courage to deal with my problems.
    Outstanding!

    Justin,

    It was good fortune for me too...that I happened on your post when I did, and that I am in a reasonably functional state of health today to think of finding those resources! It was you who reached out today... I'm most pleased that you took action to empower yourself!
    Serendipity comes to mind...

    ...and so too does awareness and empowerment!

    Anyway, I'm rambling...thank you!
    -Marka
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.